(SPLASHES)
- (CLEARS THROAT) - (PEOPLE MURMURING)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(EXHALES)
(SCOFFS)
EDMURE: If I may, nephew,
I encountered a situation with one of my lieutenants
at the Stone Mill which may have some bearing...
Why don't you shut your mouth about that damned mill?
And don't call him "nephew." He is your king.
Robb knows I meant him no...
You're lucky I'm not your king.
I wouldn't let you wave your blunders around like a victory flag.
My blunder sent Tywin's mad dog
back to Casterly Rock with his tail between his legs.
I think King Robb understands we won't win this war
if he's the only one winning any battles.
No, there's glory enough to go around.
It's not about glory.
Your instructions were to wait for him to come to you.
I seized an opportunity.
What value was the mill?
The Mountain was garrisoned across the river from it.
ROBB: Is he there now?
Of course not. We took the fight to him. He could not withstand us.
I wanted to draw the Mountain into the west,
into our country, where we could surround him and kill him.
I wanted him to chase us,
which he would have done because he is a mad dog
without a strategic thought in his head.
I could have that head on a spike by now.
Instead, I have a mill.
We took hostages. Willem Lannister. Martyn Lannister.
Willem and Martyn Lannister are 14 years old.
Martyn is 15, I believe.
Tywin Lannister has my sisters.
Have I sued for peace?
No.
Do you think he'll sue for peace because we have his father's
brother's great-grandsons?
No.
How many men did you lose?
208. But for every man we lost, the Lannisters...
We need our men more than Tywin needs his!
I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
You would have.
Right here today at this gathering, if you had been patient.
We seem to be running short of patience here.
You know who isn't?
Tywin Lannister.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(CHAINS RATTLING)
(CHAIR SQUEAKS)
(CHAIR DRAGGING LOUDLY)
(SIGHS)
Intimate. Lovely table.
Better chairs than the old Small Council chamber.
Conveniently close to your own quarters. I like it.
What news of Jaime?
20,000 unwashed Northerners have known about his escape for weeks.
You control more spies and informants
than the rest of the world combined.
Do you mean to tell me that none of you has any notion of where he is?
We are trying, my lord.
Try harder.
What do we have, then?
Robb Stark and most of his bannermen are in Riverrun
for the funeral of his grandfather Lord Hoster Tully.
In Stark's absence, Roose Bolton holds Harrenhal,
which would seem to make him Lord of Harrenhal,
in practice, not in name.
TYWIN: Let him have it.
The name suits our purposes far more than that useless pile of rubble.
The Lord of Harrenhal will make
a worthy suitor for the widow Arryn.
For which I am extremely grateful to you, my lord.
Lady Arryn and I have known each other since we were children.
She has always been positively predisposed toward me.
A successful courtship would make
Lord Baelish acting Lord of the Vale.
Titles do seem to breed titles.
You'll leave for the Eyrie as soon as possible
and bring Lysa Arryn into the fold.
Then the young wolf can add his own aunt
to the list of people who have taken up arms against him.
Far be it from me to hinder true love,
but Lord Baelish's absence would present certain problems.
The royal wedding may end up being
the most expensive event in living memory.
Summer has ended, hard days lie ahead.
Not a good time to leave the crown's finances unattended.
TYWIN: Fully agreed.
Which is why I'm naming you new Master of Coin.
- (SCOFFS) - Master of Coin?
It would appear to best suits your talents.
I'm quite good at spending money,
but a lifetime of outrageous wealth
hasn't taught me much about managing it.
I have no doubt you will prove equal to this challenge.
Hear, hear.
MAN: He lifted her high in the air
He sniffed and roared and smelled her there
She kicked and wailed, the maid so fair
But he licked the honey from her hair
ALL: From there to here, from here to there
All black and brown and covered with hair
He smelled that girl on the summer air
The bear, the bear, and the maiden fair
I hope you're pleased. If I were armed, they'd never have taken us.
BRIENNE: You were armed when we were taken.
I was in chains, if you recall.
Our little match would have ended quite quick if my hands weren't bound.
All my life I've been hearing, "Jaime Lannister,
"what a brilliant swordsman."
You were slower than I expected. And more predictable.
I've been sitting in a muddy pen,
wrapped in chains, for the past year.
I'm a woman. I was beating you.
You were not beating me.
Maybe you were as good as people said...
Once.
Or maybe people just love to over-praise a famous name.
When we make camp tonight, you'll be raped. More than once.
None of these fellows have ever been with a noblewoman.
- You'd be wise not to resist. - Would I?
They'll knock your teeth out.
You think I care?
No, I don't think you care about your teeth.
If you fight them, they will kill you. Do you understand?
I'm the prisoner of value, not you.
Let them have what they want. What does it matter?
What does it matter?
Close your eyes.
Pretend they're Renly.
If you were a woman, you wouldn't resist?
You'd let them do what they wanted?
If I was a woman, I'd make them kill me. But I'm not, thank the Gods.
If I had a proper forge, I'd make it good as new.
Doesn't have to look pretty. It just has to keep the arrows out of my heart.
Why are you helping him?
He takes us prisoner, now he's our friend?
THOROS: You're not our prisoner.
What am I?
Our guest.
No one's put any chains on you.
So I can walk away, then?
These woods aren't safe for Ned Stark's daughter.
You're lucky we found you.
HOUND: You think you're good with that bow, you little twat?
ANGUY: Better than anyone you've met.
HOUND: A coward's weapon. I like to fight up close.
I like to see a man's face when I put the steel in him.
Why? So you can kiss him?
You remember the last time you were here?
Looks like every other shit inn on the road.
ANGUY: Now, apologies, but you're one ugly fucker
and I'd rather not see you no more.
(GROANS)
Watch your head.
- (BANGING) - Off we go.
MAN: Walk up!
(HORSE NEIGHING)
What are you doing? We're about to leave.
I'm staying.
You're what?
I baked brown bread for the innkeep, she said she never had better.
Told Thoros she's keeping me as payment for all his free meals.
Anyway, it's not me the Brotherhood wants. My brother ain't no king.
I'm not a Stark of Winterhell.
Winterfell.
- You sure? - I'm sure.
Well, I made you something.
What is it?
It's a wolf.
Yes, it is.
ARYA: That's the tail?
Yeah.
Well, be safe.
Yeah, you, too. Don't get stabbed.
You don't burn your fingers.
Good-bye, Hot Pie.
Good-bye, Arry.
Up you go, little lady.
ARYA: Hey, Hot Pie.
It's really good.
CATELYN: A person could almost be forgiven for forgetting we're at war.
It often comforts me to think that even in war's darkest days,
in most places in the world absolutely nothing is happening.
I've missed you, Uncle.
Father missed you, too, from the day you left.
Maybe he never said it in so many words...
Maybe?
Your father was a stubborn old ox.
I was surprised when he died. Didn't think death had the patience.
I'm glad you were with him. I wish to the Gods I had been.
Did you make peace in the end?
After 30 years of fighting, I don't think he remembered what started it.
He asked me to stop calling myself Blackfish.
He said it was an old joke and it was never funny to begin with.
I told him people had been calling me Blackfish for so long,
they don't remember my real name.
Every time he would leave for the capital or fight in a campaign,
I'd see him off.
"Wait for me, little Cat," he'd say.
"Wait for me, and I'll come back to you."
And I would sit at this window every day when the sun came up, waiting.
I wonder,
how many times did Bran or Rickon
stare across the moors of Winterfell,
waiting for me to return?
I will never see them again. (SOBBING)
You mustn't think it.
We don't know the truth. They could be in hiding.
Robb believes they're alive.
And he must go on believing.
He's got to remain strong if he's to prevail.
And you must remain strong for him.
(SIGHS)
You're Robb Stark's wife.
Hold still.
Is it true what they say about him?
I don't know. What do they say about him?
That he can turn into a wolf at night.
True.
And he eats the flesh of his enemies.
True.
You're a Lannister, aren't you?
Martyn Lannister.
You've nothing to fear. My husband doesn't eat children.
Unless it's a full moon.
It's not a full moon tonight, is it?
See? Nothing to fear.
(WIND HOWLING)
Always the artists.
It's only horses.
No men.
You said there was dead crows.
There was.
How many men were here?
About 300.
And you know what those men are now?
We're all the same to them, meat for their army.
Do you think anyone got away?
MANCE: It's not impossible. You don't go far betting against Mormont.
But dead or alive, he took a big gamble coming north.
And he lost.
His best fighting men are dead.
And whether he's Lord Commander of the Night's Watch
or a blue-eyed corpse,
he's a long way from home.
Tormund. Climb the Wall.
Take Orell and 20 good men. And take this one.
He knows Castle Black's defenses better than any of us.
And if he's useful, good. If not, throw him off the Wall.
See if crows can fly.
We're finally going to war, old friend?
Hide near Castle Black. When I give the signal, hit them in the night.
They've got a big old wall to hide behind, but it only guards one side.
(CHUCKLES)
We'll meet again.
- Aye. If you do your job. - Ah.
How will we see your signal?
MANCE: Send your eagle above the Wall every night.
When it's time, I'm going to light the biggest fire
the North has ever seen.
(MEN COUGHING)
(BABY CRYING)
Ghost?
What have we here? Frozen crows?
We've come a long way.
CRASTER: Smaller flock than you went north with.
We can talk inside.
Oh, can we?
(INHALES)
(WOMAN 1 SCREAMING)
WOMAN 2: They need some water. Tether it, and I'll be inside.
(WOMAN 1 GROANING)
CRASTER: Keep your eyes where they belong.
They're not for you.
Bet you feed that pig better than you feed us.
Aye, pig's got value to me.
You should all be kissing my feet for letting you in.
I'd have turned you all away if I wasn't a godly man.
You are a godly man?
I am. I got no fear of what's out there.
When the white cold comes,
your swords and cloaks and bloody fires won't help you.
The only ones left will be those who are right with the Gods.
The real Gods.
(WOMAN 1 CONTINUES GROANING)
Go tell her she can bite down on a rag
or she can bite down on my fist.
Women. (CHUCKLES)
That sow right there gave birth to a litter of eight.
Barely a grunt.
And she's almost as fat as this one here.
Now why don't you dine on him?
Carve off what you need as you go.
Well, look at him. He's a walking feast.
(CRASTER IMITATES PIG SQUEALING)
(CRASTER LAUGHING)
(COUGHING)
(SIGHS)
WOMAN 2: Here we are. Sharpen these for me, would ya?
(WOMAN 1 SCREAMING)
I see the head. Push. That's it.
You're nearly there.
(WHIMPERING)
(PANTING)
One more push should do it.
(SCREAMING IN PAIN)
(BABY CRYING)
(GASPS)
What is it? What is it?
(CRYING LOUDLY)
(WATER DRIPPING)
- (DOOR OPENING) - (GASPS)
(DOOR CLOSING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(WHISPERS) Keep quiet.
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING)
If you can't ride, we don't stand a chance.
I can ride.
You're sure?
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
Ride east. Follow the rising sun. Your sister's waiting for you.
I'll make you a Lord of the Iron Islands for this.
We're not in the Iron Islands.
Go.
Come on.
Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.
MAN: Come on back.
STANNIS: You refuse to tell me where you're going?
MELISANDRE: I don't know yet. The fires will show me.
STANNIS: How long will you be gone?
MELISANDRE: (SIGHS) I don't know.
You're abandoning me.
I will never abandon you.
You are the Son of Fire.
I am sworn to serve you.
Then serve me.
When I return, you will understand.
My enemies think they've destroyed me.
They're laughing at me, the way Renly laughed at me.
I want Joffrey dead. I want Robb Stark dead.
Make me another son.
I cannot.
(SNIFFS) Why?
You don't have the strength. It would kill you.
I'm not easily killed. Men have tried for years.
I want you.
Your fires burn low, my king.
There is another way. A better way.
You told me your magic requires a king's blood.
- Yes. - I'm the one true king.
You are.
There are others with your blood in their veins.
You will sit on the Iron Throne,
but first there must be sacrifices.
The Lord of Light demands it.
The Walk of Punishment is a warning, Your Grace.
To whom?
JORAH: To any slave who contemplates doing
whatever these slaves did.
Give me your water.
Khaleesi, this man has been sentenced to death.
Here, drink.
(INDISTINCT)
BARRISTAN: Leave this place, Your Grace.
Leave tonight, I beg you.
And what is she to do for soldiers?
BARRISTAN: We can find sellswords in Pentos and Myr.
Is it "we" already, Ser Barristan?
If you want to sit on the throne
your ancestors built, you must win it.
That means blood on your hands before the thing is done.
The blood of my enemies, not the blood of innocents.
JORAH: How many wars have you fought in, Ser Barristan?
- Three. - Have you ever seen a war
where innocents didn't die by the thousands?
I was in King's Landing after the sack, Khaleesi.
You know what I saw? Butchery.
Babies, children, old men.
More women raped than you can count.
There's a beast in every man, and it stirs when you put a sword in his hand.
But the Unsullied are not men. They do not rape.
They do not put cities to the sword unless they're ordered.
If you buy them, the only men they'll kill are those you want dead.
You disagree, Ser Barristan?
When your brother led his army into battle at the Trident,
men died for him because they believed in him,
because they loved him,
not because they'd been bought at an auction.
I fought beside the last dragon on that day.
I bled beside him.
Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly,
and Rhaegar died.
Did you know him well, Ser Barristan?
I did, Your Grace. Finest man I ever met.
I wish I had known him. But he was not the last dragon.
MISSANDEI: All? Did this one's ears mishear, Your Grace?
They did not. I want to buy them all.
(BOTH SPEAKING VALYRIAN)
She wants to buy them all.
She can't afford them.
The slut thinks she can flash her tits,
and make us give her whatever she wants.
There are 8,000 Unsullied in Astapor. Is this what you mean by all?
Yes. 8,000. And the ones still in training as well.
- (TRANSLATING INTO VALYRIAN) - (GREIZHEN SPEAKING VALYRIAN)
If they fail on the battlefield,
they will shame Astapor.
Master Greizhen says they cannot sell half-trained boys.
If they fail on the battlefield,
they will bring shame upon all of Astapor.
I will have them all or take none.
Many will fall in battle. I'll need the boys
to pick up the swords they drop.
(GROANS)
(SPEAKING VALYRIAN CONTINUALLY)
The slut cannot pay for all of this.
Master Kraznys says you cannot afford this.
Her ship will buy her 100 Unsullied, no more,
Your ship will buy you 100 Unsullied.
and this because I like the curve of her ass.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Because Master Kraznys is generous.
What is left will buy her 10.
MISSANDEI: The gold you have left is worth 10.
I will give her 20 if it stops her ignorant whimpering.
But good Master Kraznys will give you 20.
Her Dothraki smell of shit,
The Dothraki you have with you...
but may be useful as pig feed.
The Dothraki you have are not worth what they cost to feed...
I will give her 3 for those.
MISSANDEI:...but Master Kraznys will give you
three Unsullied for all of them.
So, ask this beggar queen,
MISSANDEI: Master Kraznys asks how you propose to pay...
how will she pay for the remaining 7,877?
MISSANDEI:...for the remaining 7,877 Unsullied?
I have dragons. I'll give you one.
(SPEAKING VALYRIAN)
You will win the throne with dragons, not slaves, Your Grace.
Khaleesi, please.
Three dragons.
- One. - Two.
One.
(INDISTINCT)
(SPEAKING VALYRIAN)
MISSANDEI: They want the biggest one.
Done.
(SIGHS)
I'll take you as well, now.
You'll be Master Kraznys' gift to me.
A token of a bargain well struck.
(IN VALYRIAN)
She asks that you give me to her, as a present.
She asks that you do this now.
Khaleesi, a dragon is worth more
than any army. Aegon Targaryen proved that.
You're both here to advise me.
I value your advice, but if you ever
question me in front of strangers again,
you'll be advising someone else.
Is that understood?
Do you have a name?
This one's name is Missandei, Your Grace.
Do you have a family? A mother and a father
you'd return to if you had the choice?
No, Your Grace. No family living.
You belong to me now. It is your duty to tell me the truth.
Yes, Your Grace. Lying is a great offense.
Many of those on the Walk of Punishment were taken there for less.
I offered water to a slave dying on the Walk of Punishment.
Do you know what he said to me? "Let me die."
There are no masters in the grave, Your Grace.
Is it true what Master Kraznys told me
about the Unsullied? About their obedience?
All questions have been taken from them. They obey, that is all.
Once they are yours, they are yours.
They will fall on their swords if you command it.
And what about you? You know that I'm taking you to war.
You may go hungry. You may fall sick.
You may be killed.
Valar Morghulis.
Yes, all men must die.
But we are not men.
TYRION: A surprising place to keep the royal ledgers.
LITTLEFINGER: I'm surprised you're surprised.
This is the safest place in the city.
Not for bastards.
That's all of them, my lord.
TYRION: Thank you, my dear. Pod.
Pod. Take them outside.
I'll be there in a moment.
Yes, my lord.
I hear you owe that boy a significant debt.
Only my life. Not all that significant, I'm afraid.
You should have him knighted.
If only the Master of Coin had such power.
If only.
I owe you a significant debt.
Our redheaded friend.
You secured her release when the Queen detained her.
Oh, that.
Of course. A simple misunderstanding.
Apparently, Her Grace believed
that you two had some sort of special relationship.
We don't. I did fuck her once.
- I know. - But we don't.
I know.
How'd the Queen get that idea?
Why don't you ask her?
Any advice for me on my new position?
Keep a low profile.
If I had a gold dragon
for every time I heard that joke, I'd be richer than you are.
Well, you are richer than I am.
Good point.
They're only numbers. Numbers on paper.
Once you understand that, it's easy to make them behave.
Trivial even. You want a real challenge? Try whores.
I've tried quite a few. Well, lots of work to do. Enjoy the Eyrie.
Come on, I'm here later. Come on.
Tonight, then.
Looks like dull reading.
TYRION: You think all reading is dull reading.
It's an opinion I share with some of the finest men I know.
The secret history of the Seven Kingdoms is in these pages.
BRONN: Unless Lord Twatbeard made up a bunch of numbers
to hide what he's really up to.
Unless he made it all up, yes.
Podrick, do keep up.
Yes, my lord.
Podrick.
Yes, my lord?
After a long consultation with my colleague Ser Bronn,
I finally found a suitable reward for the services
you've provided over and above what might be considered reasonable.
Tell me, Pod, have you ever been with a woman?
No, my lord.
Wonderful.
Genna specializes in first-timers.
She's not bad with second-timers, either.
Uh, my lord...
A fair enough repayment for putting your spear
through my would-be killer's face, wouldn't you say?
Now, as it happens,
Marei
is quite the spear-handler herself.
She's here to thank you for staying by my side
as the battle raged all around me.
MAREI: He's handsome.
You didn't tell me he was handsome.
Kayla is famous from here to Volantis in certain circles.
One of four women in the world who can perform a proper Meereenese Knot.
My lord, I don't even...
TYRION: She's here to thank you for being a thoroughly respectful fellow,
who's never once failed to address me as "my lord."
Be back in time for my supper.
Pace yourself, lad.
TYRION: For years I've heard that Littlefinger is a magician.
Whenever the crown needs money, he rubs his hands together
and, poof, mountains of gold.
Let me guess. He's not a magician.
No.
He's stealing it?
Worse, he's borrowing it.
What's wrong with that?
We can't afford to pay it back, that's what's wrong with it.
The crown owes millions to my father.
Seeing as it's his grandson's ass on the throne,
I imagine he'll forgive that debt.
Forgive a debt, my father?
For a man of the world, you're strangely naive.
I've never borrowed money.
- I'm not clear on the rules. - Well...
(TYRION CLEARS THROAT)
The basic principle is, I lend you money,
and after an agreed upon period of time, you return it with interest.
What if I don't?
Well, you have to.
But what if I don't?
This is why I don't lend you money.
Anyway, it's not my father I'm worried about.
It's the Iron Bank of Braavos.
We owe them tens of millions.
If we fail to repay these loans,
the bank will fund our enemies.
One way or another, they always get their gold back.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Ah, the return of the conquering hero.
Does he have a little jaunt in his step?
The lad's practically skipping.
You were gone a long time. I trust you got your money's worth.
Or should I say my money's worth?
Oh, it was a gift, Podrick. This is more than I give you in a year.
He's a squire. You don't pay him.
Oh, then it's much more than I give you in a year.
They wouldn't take it, my lord.
Maybe they're trying to curry some favor with the new Master of Coin.
Have you ever known a whore to turn down gold?
They were happy enough to take it when I gave it to them.
What did you tell them?
I didn't tell them anything.
What did you do to them?
Lots of things.
And they seemed to like these things?
Yes, my lord.
Of course they did. They're paid to seem to like it.
Only they weren't paid.
What are you saying? These ladies enjoyed him so much,
they gave him the time for free?
Is that what you're telling us?
Sit down, Podrick.
(CLEARS THROAT)
We're going to need details.
Copious details.
(HORSE NEIGHING)
- (GASPS) - (NEIGHS)
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on.
(GRUNTS)
(GASPING)
(HORSE NEIGHS)
(WHEEZING)
(GROANS)
You know how we deal with runaways?
(GROANING)
Take off his pants.
No! No! No, no, no!
I'm gonna fuck you into the dirt.
No, please! No, no, no! No, don't!
No, please! No! No!
(ARROW WHISTLES)
(GROANS)
(PANTING)
You little bastard.
(GROANS)
(WHIMPERING)
Come, my lord.
You're a long way from home, and winter is coming.
(MEN CHATTERING IN DISTANCE)
I'll take the big bitch first.
When she's good and wet, you lot can finish her off.
My lord, I am Brienne of Tarth.
Lady Catelyn Stark commanded me
to deliver Ser Jaime to King's Landing.
Catelyn Stark's a treasonous cunt.
Orders were to take the Kingslayer alive. Nobody said shit about you.
- (GRUNTING) - (GROANS)
You're only making it worse.
(ALL GRUNTING)
Take her over there, where it's dark. I'd like a little privacy.
(GROANS)
Come on!
(SCREAMING)
You know who she is, don't you?
A big dumb bitch from who cares where.
Never been with a woman that big.
JAIME: She's Brienne of Tarth.
Her father is Lord Selwyn Tarth. Heard of Tarth?
MAN: I'm gonna cut your throat!
They call it the Sapphire Isle. Do you know why?
Every sapphire in Westeros was mined on Tarth.
Sapphires are gemstones.
The blue ones.
I know what they are.
Lord Selwyn would pay his daughter's weight
in sapphires if she's returned to him.
But only if she's alive, her honor unbesmirched.
(BRIENNE CONTINUES SCREAMING)
Bring her back here.
MAN 1: Yes, my lord.
Get up.
MAN 2: Come on.
Come on, on your feet.
Unbesmirched.
Not defiled.
Fancy word for a fancy man.
I hated to read as a child,
but my father forced me to study every morning
before I could practice with sword or horse.
Two hours every day holed up in the maester's chambers.
I learned a lot of fancy words.
I bet you did.
(BRIENNE GRUNTS)
Your father, he'd pay your weight in gold to get you back?
You'll be a rich man till the end of your days.
And your sons will be rich men, and their sons after them.
Lands, titles...
You'll have them all.
The North can't win this war.
You're a smart man. You understand that.
We have the numbers. We have the gold.
Aye, you have both.
Fighting bravely for a losing cause is admirable.
Fighting for a winning cause is far more rewarding.
Hard to argue with that.
Now that we're speaking together man to man,
I wonder if you need to keep me chained to this tree?
I'm not asking to be freed from my constraints,
but if I could sleep lying down,
my back would thank you for it.
I'm not as young and resilient as I was once.
None of us are.
Unchain Ser Jaime from the tree.
MAN: Come on, men.
Suppose you'll be wanting something to eat.
I'm famished, actually.
I think we've got a spare partridge on the fire.
Well, I do like partridge.
(JAIME GROANS SOFTLY)
Bring the bird over here and the carving knife.
Will this work as a table, my lord?
Oh, yes. Yes, this will do...
(GROANS)
On the stump.
You think you're the smartest man there is.
(GRUNTING)
That everyone alive has to bow and scrape and lick your boots.
My father...
And if you get in any trouble,
all you've got to do is say "my father"
and that's it, all your troubles are gone.
Don't.
Have you got something to say?
(GRUNTS)
Careful. You don't want to say the wrong thing.
You're nothing without your daddy, and your daddy ain't here.
Never forget that.
Here, this should help you remember.
(SCREAMING IN PAIN)
(THE BEAR AND THE MAIDEN FAIR PLAYING)