Ben, it wasn't that bad.
I tripped ten seconds into my juggling act,
then all my balls flew into the audience, and they wouldn't give them back!
So, why'd you start doing stand-up?
Because when you give Ben Freeling five minutes, he does five minutes.
Well, if the middle school talent show had a prize for not giving up--
Oh God, look out!
Nathan! I thought I'd killed someone!
Nope. Already dead.
What were you doing in the road?
I couldn't wait for you guys to come home! Did you record Ben's act like I asked?
I see our principal is in the audience. Talk about being stupid.
Boo!
That's my time.
And she only hit record when she thought she was hitting stop.
Probably for the best.
Dang it. I miss everything.
Hey, why is there a broken chair in the doorway?
Stay behind me.
Nathan, what happened here?
I'm not sure. I've been waiting outside for a while.
Guys, the elevator.
I made a nest.
Abaddon!
Water delivery! Whoa!
-Uh, you guys need help cleaning up or-- -We're fine.
Right, because I don't know how to do anything but deliver water.
Abaddon, what the hell?
There was a demon who looked just like me. I had to assert dominance.
He means the mirror.
Wait. Did you trash my lobby because you saw your reflection?
Well, if I wasn't dead yet, I would be now.
Life's funny.
What did you even do? It looks like you threw your body at the wall.
-I did. -Don't shoot the messenger.
Because the bullet would go straight through him.
But it looks like Abaddon also may have killed a deer on the back porch.
That was not me! The deer and I have a temporary alliance.
-Against what? -Mothman.
I always forget that his answers to questions will be bad.
So tell me more about this talent show.
Uh, did anyone beatbox? Were they better than me?
That's what you care about right now?
That's what you'd care about, too,
if you couldn't leave a hotel for all eternity.
I miss everything.
You know, no one ever says it, but being a ghost has its downsides.
I gotta go buy paint.
You want a group activity? Go clean up whatever Abaddon left of the deer.
I left all of it because we have an alliance!
Do we have to?
I have a real fear of blood once it's outside of bodies.
Come on. It'll be fun.
Esther can be on mop. Ben can be on bone saw.
-Uh-huh. Can I be on mop? -Why are you making this difficult?
-I'll be back soon. -I'll be in the vents.
No. You've lost vent privileges. You're coming with me.
No, I'm going in the vents.
You're going to town. Do you wanna walk to the car or be carried?
I want to go in the vents.
Carried it is.
No!
-You're gonna hurt your mouth. -In hell, I had five mouths.
Fine, go nuts.
-Okay, enough. -Release me!
I can't or I'll get another ticket
because to everyone else in the world, you're just a small child
and not the immortal cause of at least a third of my problems.
And you are the cause of all of mine.
I know that's not true. I just heard you complain about a mothman.
The Mothman.
Look, it's our first time in town together,
and everyone thinks of me as the owner of that hotel with all the screaming,
so let's set some ground rules.
You don't glare, you don't attack anyone, and if someone smiles at you,
they aren't trying to siphon your wicked essence.
That's how it happens.
Just keep your mouth closed and your hands in your pockets.
I want the beach music.
Catch a wave And you're sitting on top of the world
Yep, that's a dead deer all right.
Not just a dead deer.
-Oh God, there's something in there? -I'll say. A mystery!
What did this?
These bite marks are way too big to be Abaddon.
And look at these claw marks.
Abaddon's scratches don't break the skin because Mom cuts his nails.
Can we please focus on how to get this deer into a trash bag?
Why? Worried we'll find something you don't want us to find?
-Where were you when this deer died? -Uh, getting booed by the whole school.
Story checks out.
But that means the killer's still on the loose!
Not if we stop him.
-Or her. -Or it!
I'll do a tracking spell.
Hey, I just feel like our task was to clean up this deer,
and you both might be moving away from that.
Ben, why would we do that?
Because Esther loves hunting things,
and I'm desperate for an adventure that includes me?
-Come on, Ben. -Yeah, seriously, Ben.
-Let's just get the legs in the bag. -No, wait! I'm mid-ritual.
-Happy now? -Uh, if I'm being honest, yes.
Then you can clean the blood.
Catch a wave and--
It'll be fine. No one knows he's a demon. He's just a little boy.
I ate all your ChapSticks.
Yeah, I can't do this.
But also I can't leave you alone in the car where someone can see.
Uh, what are you doing?
-It'll be so quick. -I want to go back to the hotel!
And we will, in an hour. Maybe two.
Stop fighting this. You might like it in there.
-Katherine? -Hi, Charlie.
Is that a boy in your trunk?
I am worth six boys.
This is my nephew.
I'm buying a plant that's his size,
and I wanted to see if it would fit in the trunk. Nope.
So how's my nemesis doing at the rival hotel?
Kidding! Can you imagine if we were like that,
instead of acquaintances quickly becoming friends?
Do you still intend to trap me in the trunk?
Do I still…
Abaddon, go play! Keep your hands in your pockets.
So… bed-and-breakfast looks good.
Oh, this old hunk of junk?
Funny story. I painted the gutters last week--
Charlie, I've… I've got errands, so…
Hey, I get it. I'm busy too.
Running a hotel during leaf-peeping season in leaf-peeping central?
I can't make my famous cider fast enough
for the guests to buy jugs to bring home.
Do you see my nephew--
You know, I had a couple drop by looking for a wedding venue,
and I had to tell them, "Guys, I'm fully booked."
-You don't have any space, do you? -I'd… Uh, yeah, I'd have to check.
I'll send them your way!
Bye, Charlie.
Someone in there took my shoes!
Abaddon, get out!
What'd I say about your hands?
That they are my grabbers for committing my darkest deeds.
I said keep them to yourself.
Hey! That's the boy who jumps in my car at night.
You're thinking of another boy.
Another boy dressed like he's from the 1700s?
He ate all the carrots and dirt in my garden!
He breaks into my kitchen and sits on the table.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
So sorry. Yep, so… Like, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorries all around.
I'll bring you that cider recipe!
You forgot to get paint.
Good old vinegar and baking soda. What can't you clean?
-What do you think dentists make a year? -There's a monster in the hotel!
Duh! There's lots of monsters in the hotel.
-Dr. Coffin. -The Bandersnatch.
-The Glob. -The Gouger.
-The Mind Swallower. -Screech.
-Light Pass. The Bog Boys. -Little Big Face.
There's a monster in the clock right now.
I mean a new monster. A deer-and-possibly-Ben-killing monster.
You guys were right. I just pulled this out of the front porch!
Hmm. Obsidian. Non-reflective.
Unnaturally sharp.
For God's sakes! It's school pictures next week.
I just remembered I heard howling in the upstairs hallway last night.
Dead deer. Howling in the hallway.
Supernatural claw. Interesting.
"Interesting?" Like, "we have a mystery" interesting?
No, Uncle Nathan. We don't have a mystery.
We have a werewolf.
That's why we don't eat yogurt in the car.
And how long have you been breaking into homes at night?
-Two hundred years. -Why?
Because the night is my canvas and terror my paint.
I'd like PB&J for lunch.
Something funny?
Same story, different decade.
Abaddon's been terrorizing this land and the people who own it for 300 years.
-Any tips? -Only if you wanna know what doesn't work.
People have tried throwing him in the lake.
Burying him alive.
Sending him to a boarding school with a focus on tough love.
Heck, they've even chained him up in the attic.
I reckon the chain's still up there.
I'm not chaining him up.
Wouldn't work even if you did. A demon can't be contained.
Then maybe I don't contain him.
Like you said, people have tried and failed for hundreds of years.
Maybe I have to direct him, give him purpose, meaning, objectives.
-Those are all synonyms. -Abaddon!
-Mm. I was lurking. -You're getting a job.
I didn't know we had a whiteboard. Good for us.
I've pulled together everything I could find about werewolves.
Known sightings, known weaknesses.
I also watched all the Twilight movies. I see a lot of myself in Jacob.
Look, I know I said we had a monster, but are we sure it's a werewolf?
Are those things even real?
Ben, do you want to be eaten?
You know I don't.
I'm the expert. I know the signs. We got a werewolf.
Technically, a lycanthrope, since it can clearly transform at will.
And now that it's here, we have to transform into werewolf killers.
So, how do we find this thing?
By finding the human that hides the monster.
And I think I already did.
Our hotel's only current guest, Jeremy Laramie!
Oof. Bet he got teased for that in school.
I bet that that teasing cultivated inner strength.
According to my ghost contacts,
Jeremy checked in two days ago in the middle of the night. Alone.
Wearing dirty clothes covered in fur.
And his room is upstairs, where Uncle Nathan heard howling.
This is our werewolf.
It all connects!
Because she drew lines connecting them!
-We cannot accuse a guest. -We're not gonna accuse him.
We're gonna attack him, incinerate him, and spread his ashes on moving water!
Your brother has a point, Esther.
As the adult here, I'm gonna have to insist
that we prove this guest is a werewolf before we attack him.
Hey.
Is that a picture of me?
It sure is! Yeah, we take pictures of all the guests.
You can buy them at the end like a… a roller coaster.
I don't want a job!
Abaddon, jobs give people purpose and make them happy.
-You don't seem happy. -Because I'm busy finding jobs for demons!
Speaking of, I found a job that I think will be perfect for you.
Since I'm guessing demons like torturing things,
I thought you could torture the hotel dirt.
The noise is… pleasing.
And it comes with attachments so you can also torture the stairs.
We'll find a different job.
Are you following me?
Oh, no. We were just…
-Really? -Keep him busy. Don't let him eat you.
Uh, yes, I was following you.
To see if you would like a tour of the hotel.
Oh.
-Sure. -Wait, really?
Yeah, why not?
Uh, okay. Great.
Then let's start in the parlor,
which is a prime example of the neo-gothic style.
Okay, Jeremy.
You can hide that you're a werewolf, but you can't hide
the fur you shed on the bed!
Ha!
Surprisingly clean.
Shower drain pipes are clean too.
But all this proves is that he sleeps and showers human.
And that he knew we would search his room,
so he hid all the evidence that he's a werewolf.
Ah, he would. What's our move?
Toss the place.
Can't toss, but I'll match your energy.
Toss! Toss!
Then you throw them into the washer to torture the stain.
Now you try.
Abaddon?
-I was using that. -What is your problem?
I'm an immortal evil bound to the body of a boy in a place I despise.
So, why not leave?
Because hell might come for me!
Huh?
I had a job in hell, you know.
I was a gatekeeper in the fifth ring of the sunless city.
I determined who would enter for torture
and who would fall into the abyss for a different torture.
Then in my ten thousandth year, I was sent to Earth to wreak havoc.
I possessed a young boy, which was very popular at the time.
I didn't know that this boy's father was a priest of some skill.
He bound my body.
Then bound my spirit to the body.
But as the priest began the spell that would destroy my essence,
I leapt upon him, taking both of us over the cliff.
I was safe,
but bound powerless to this form,
doomed to wander the Earth forever.
But I always hoped that my home would come for me at this,
the site of my failure.
Did you say you were a gatekeeper?
We must be missing something.
We tore apart his whole room. Who's cleaning that up, by the way?
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he isn't the werewolf.
-Jeremy's a werewolf. -I friggin' knew it!
How do you know? Uh, did you see him turn?
Does it happen all at once, or does it start with his hands turning into paws?
Huh? No, no. I was giving him a tour.
I had my whistle ready to go in case he tried anything,
but he just kept talking about how lonely he was.
And when I changed the subject
to how the wallpaper isn't original because we had a sewage leak,
he looked at me and asked if I believe it's possible
to transform into something completely different.
-So I ran. -I don't get it.
Why would he ask you about transforming?
Oh God, don't you see?
Jeremy wants to bite Ben and turn him into a werewolf friend.
What? I can't be a werewolf. I already don't fit in.
Enough looking for proof. No one turns Ben into a monster but me.
-Wait, are you gonna do that? -I don't know, Ben.
But I know that no one else gets to try!
If we can't find proof Jeremy's a werewolf, we'll force it out of him!
-It's sleeveless. -It's called a vest.
And as the bellhop/gatekeeper of the hotel,
you are the only one who gets to wear it while you stand here and hold the door.
And destroy our enemies?
If you see any enemies, go nuts.
In the meantime, I'm going outside.
Okay, I'll leave you to it.
And hey, I'm proud of you.
I'm actually going to my office though.
Hello?
If you're calling room service, we don't have deer.
Or room service!
-Help! -Now!
-Got him! -What is happening?
It's time for your early checkout.
Stop it!
-Admit you're a werewolf! -But I'm not!
Uh, Esther, I don't think the silver coins are burning him.
He seems a little scared of the wolfsbane on the bat.
No, I'm scared of the bat!
-Did we attack a guest for no reason? -Yes!
He wasn't asking you, werewolf!
It felt like such a solid plan two minutes ago.
No one leaves until we figure this out!
Remember when you said the demon in Abaddon couldn't be contained?
Well, guess who just contained him.
Congratulations.
Hey, am I crazy, or is there a little vibe here?
Oh, um… Abaddon! How's my little gatekeeper doing?
I need rope to bind the great enemy.
He nearly entered the hotel, but I protected it.
Sorry, what great enemy?
Felt a breeze. Is that the kidnapper?
Sorry, I don't wanna label you if that's not how you see yourself.
It's your show.
Oh God.
This is just preliminary. I lack the strength to hoist him by his nipples.
I thought he was your nemesis!
Doesn't mean I want him tortured!
-Where I come from, it does! -But you live on Earth now.
I really tried to meet you halfway, Abaddon,
but that only works if you meet me halfway too.
-I'll be back when I figure this out. -Hm. Very well.
And I'm taking back the vest.
No!
This is fixable. I'll get him off property.
It's not a crime if the kidnapped person goes free, right?
Someone there? I hear footsteps!
There's that breeze again.
FYI, there's a gap at the bottom of the sack,
so I can see feet.
Ma'am, those are some memorable shoes.
This was all a big mistake.
I get it. Before I got knocked out,
I was on my way to see a friend at her hotel
to share an apple cider recipe,
and wouldn't you know it, I got all the way there before I realized
I left the recipe at home!
That's your big mistake?
Hello?
That bell sounds familiar. And that voice. And still those shoes.
I'll be right back.
This should be burning his skin off!
-Get off me! -Maybe he needs to eat it.
Help! I'm being attacked by kids and a ghost in a confusing way!
Esther? What are we doing here?
I don't know. I was pretty sure he was a werewolf.
"Pretty sure"? You said he was a werewolf!
That you were an "expert" and knew the signs.
The signs can mean a lot of things.
While we're confessing stuff, I'm not sure I heard howling in the hallway.
-What?! -It's more that I hoped I heard howling.
'Cause it would mean a hotel adventure with you guys.
It's just hard, you know, being trapped here,
missing out on precious memories.
And I'm sorry that led to a crime, but I won't apologize for loving too much.
-Yeah, we're going to jail. -No, this is our guy.
If you're not a werewolf,
why did you check in in the middle of the night?
Because my wife kicked me out.
Why are your clothes covered in fur?
Because I breed huskies. That's actually why my wife kicked me out.
Why'd you talk to me about people transforming?
Because I want to change for my wife.
But I don't know if true change is possible.
I love breeding huskies!
Oh, metaphorical transformation.
Oh, this is my fault.
I'm used to everything that happens here having a supernatural cause.
No, it's my fault.
I was having too much fun bonding
to be the adult and say, "You can't attack a guest."
-What? -We both went.
-Well, I don't think this is my fault. -Ben, we both went!
Fine! Fine, okay.
It's my fault because I found a claw.
Hey, yeah, it is your fault.
Wait, where'd Jeremy go?
If he goes to the police, we'll go to juvie,
and you'll really never get to spend time with us!
Jer-bear! Let's talk, bud!
-Can I help you? -Ooh, I hope so.
My wedding is next month. Fifty guests.
I'm looking for a venue, and the man at the B and B said you might have space.
Charlie sent you.
Yes, Charlie, the nicest man.
So nice. What dates were you thinking about?
Well, we're looking at two dates. The beginning and the end of March.
We just don't know.
Why don't you sit down over there, and I will be right back.
-I told you not to move. -I know.
But then I thought maybe it would be a good idea to try to escape,
since I don't know your intentions.
Water delivery.
I delivered the wrong water last time.
Uh, think I got flustered when you made me feel small.
Anyway, where do you want these?
Is it a bad time?
It's a fantastic time.
Closet under the stairs.
Just one second.
Hang on. Hartford Green?
Amber? Holy cow! How are you?
I'm getting married. Didn't you marry Alicia Shaw?
Sure did. It's not going great.
She's, uh… She's not sure she's "done having fun."
What does that mean to you? I know what I think it means.
Oh.
Uh-oh. I see some new feet. Are you all kidnappers?
-Uh, I can explain. -Let's hear her out.
Wait. I know that voice.
Amber, the soon-to-be bride! Did you ever check out the Undervale?
Yeah. Right now.
No kidding. Oh, hey, Katherine!
Hang on. Your shoes.
Charlie, you know, this is a huge misunderstanding.
Nothing like this has ever happened before.
-Help! -Grab him!
Someone call the cops! These people think I'm a werewolf!
Not anymore!
I was blinded by adventure.
I was just following orders, and I'm willing to testify.
I am not having my wedding here.
And I'm not delivering this water.
Everyone calm down.
I'm sure my good friend Katherine has an explanation for all of this.
I… Yes. I… I just, um…
I'm sorry, everyone.
This is all my fault.
I tied up Mr. Charlie. I was just trying to help my Aunt Kathy.
But I know it was wrong.
Here, take away my baseball glove.
And don't let me have ice cream for a month.
Aw! I forgive him. Let the boy eat ice cream.
I was still attacked by these three!
I'll refund your stay,
and you can take anything you want from the hotel as an apology.
I'm taking a lounge chair for my dogs.
Hey, I'm still bringing you that apple cider recipe.
Thank you, Charlie.
Are you sure your B and B doesn't have room for my wedding?
Aw, I think we can figure it out. I know the owner.
-You're the owner! -I'm the owner of the hotel!
Next time a water delivery guy offers to help you, let him.
Hey, Amber, wait up!
-Abaddon? -Get me… a dead squirrel.
Abaddon, what was that?
That was me meeting you halfway. May I have my vest?
I guess you've earned it.
-Wait, how did you get free? -Hmm? Oh, I cut my hand off.
-Oh God. -Damn.
I'll get the packing tape.
Can someone get the door?
Wait, if there wasn't a werewolf,
what killed the deer and made those claw marks?
Abaddon's Mothman!
-Oh, good, a new strange fear. -Who needs to go to a talent show?
The real drama's right here in the hotel.
And I have a feeling this old gal has a thousand stories left to tell.
Who's a good little haunted hotel?
-We've gotta stay home more. -Yeah, he's really losing it.