1 00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:16,933 Annie! 2 00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:19,936 They're here. 3 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,062 -Oh my God! -I know. 4 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:22,480 -People! -People. 5 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,942 -Hey! -Hi! 6 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,736 Oh my God! 7 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,821 Hey! 8 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:31,406 I wanna hug you! 9 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:34,534 -We quarantined. Come on. Bring it! -Ah! 10 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:39,247 -My friend! How you doing? -You smell even better than I remember. 11 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:40,290 Good, and you? 12 00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,958 Hey, buddy. 13 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,004 Good to see you. You look good. 14 00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:48,840 -You do too. Awesome. -You got leaner. You look buffed. 15 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:49,758 Wait. 16 00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:51,926 -Oh no. -What is happening? 17 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,888 And we are very excited for you to meet 18 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,807 Patrizia! 19 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:02,937 -Ta-da! -Oh! 20 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,606 Patrizia is a dog? 21 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:05,732 Your text made it seem 22 00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:08,151 like you were renting a room to your sexy hairdresser. 23 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,904 Isn't she chic? She's my goal weight. Get a picture of us. 24 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:11,988 Cheese! 25 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,283 Yes! Her coloring is very Armani. 26 00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:18,703 Go, Patrizia. Oh, oh, oh! 27 00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:23,166 Patrizia, no! Come here! 28 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:25,919 -Okay. Come on! Let's sit! -Patrizia! 29 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,880 What a spread! And balloons? 30 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,549 Yeah, it's for all the birthdays that we've missed. 31 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,260 And the one with the donut is for Jack's hemorrhoid surgery. 32 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:35,678 Ugh. 33 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,850 Oh my God! Everyone's hair is weird! 34 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:44,521 Hi, sweetheart! Lila's on the trampoline. Go find her. 35 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:45,730 -Go. -No! 36 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:47,690 -Okay, it's okay. -Oh! 37 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,692 Wait, so are we not masking? 38 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,654 We're outside. We all stayed home for two weeks. I think we're good. 39 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,490 Okay. You're right. We're all right. 40 00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:57,617 Yeah, honey, I don't think you can catch anything. 41 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,702 We're six feet apart. Just relax, have some wine. 42 00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:01,871 Mm. 43 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,456 Oh shit, Jack, that's mine! 44 00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:10,171 Nick, can you toss me that hand sanitizer? 45 00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:17,971 -Are you gonna put this in your mouth? -No. 46 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:20,306 I'm gonna put it in my butt. Do a handstand. 47 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:30,692 So, explain to me these sweaters. 48 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:33,403 -Okay. -Okay, well thank you for asking. 49 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,114 These are from our favorite Instagram account. 50 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:39,159 It's called Jeffrey Knitsit, and he's actually blind. 51 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,286 I can tell by the sweaters. Yeah. 52 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,290 And these are meant to raise awareness-- 53 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,584 That you are both dorks. 54 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,793 -Yes. -Sorry. 55 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,171 It's working for you. 56 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:54,716 Hey, if you think this is dorky, you're gonna hate this. 57 00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:55,633 -Oh, maybe not. -Yes. 58 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:56,759 Since it all started, 59 00:02:56,843 --> 00:03:00,013 we have been reading each other a poem every night. 60 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:03,725 -Oh! Gross! -No, no, no. I hate you. I hate you. 61 00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:07,562 Say whatever you want, but we have not had one argument since March 10th. 62 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,439 Patrizia, please. 63 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,399 Maybe you should run her a little bit. 64 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:14,277 -What? -Run her. A little trot. Like a dog show. 65 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,862 Okay. Okay, love. Patrizia. 66 00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:20,325 -Watch this. -Listen, tomorrow there is a talent show. 67 00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:23,703 It's mandatory. Lila and I made a sign and a trophy. 68 00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:25,622 -All right. -Oh! Okay, Supermom. 69 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:26,664 You have no idea. 70 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:31,294 When I first met this one, she was this fearless punk rock chick. 71 00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:32,378 Okay, it's true. 72 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:36,841 Hanging out, smoking cigarettes outside of Arlene's Grocery. Ooh! 73 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,843 First thing she ever said to me… 74 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,595 "God, you're a douchebag." 75 00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:45,516 Yeah, and I was like, "Oh, I am definitely going to marry that mean lady." 76 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,228 Now, she takes care of us. 77 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:51,648 And you come up with these fun little creative adventures 78 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,524 and lift our spirits. 79 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:56,277 Danny, she's still very nervous. 80 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,946 Maybe she's keying off your energy. 81 00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,280 -Relax. -What? 82 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,448 Relax, here. 83 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,700 It's all for Lila, right? 84 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:03,910 If we didn't have a kid, 85 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:07,205 we probably would have drank ourselves to death months ago. 86 00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:08,289 Wow. 87 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,669 -Should we have a kid? -Are you serious? 88 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:15,546 Sit. 89 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:16,965 Patrizia. 90 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,217 It's getting cold. 91 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:22,178 Should we maybe grab the heaters from the deck? 92 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,055 No, let's go inside. 93 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:25,473 -Good idea. -Come on. 94 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,058 Are we sure about that? 95 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:30,436 Like, I know I agreed to come, but I… 96 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,647 brought sleeping bags so we could sleep in the car. 97 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:37,068 Jack, we did all the things. We're safe. Come on. Anybody want to watch a movie? 98 00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:38,194 -Yeah. -Yeah? 99 00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:09,350 Oh. Why don't you wear your Jeffrey Knitsit, and I'll change? 100 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,476 Okay. 101 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,398 Does everyone think I'm being insane? 102 00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:18,443 No. But, you know, you could relax a little bit. 103 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,571 Oh! Hey. 104 00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:23,906 We forgot to do our poem last night. 105 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,575 Oh jeez. 106 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,995 What do we got here? 107 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:31,998 "Ode to a Nightingale" by John Keats. 108 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:33,624 Okay. 109 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:38,004 "My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains my sense, 110 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:40,089 as though of hemlock I had drunk." 111 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,174 How long is this one? 112 00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:42,383 A page and a half. 113 00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:45,970 Uh, "Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains." 114 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,181 Because I hear people downstairs getting breakfast. 115 00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:50,183 Smells like he's doing bacon. 116 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,769 "But being too happy in thine happiness, 117 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:56,522 that thou light-winged Dryad of the trees in some melodious plot 118 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,524 of beechen greens and shadows…" 119 00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:03,905 Hungry. Must be starving. 120 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,867 Almost ready. Almost ready. 121 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,410 Mmm! This is so good. 122 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,748 Come on, eat. 123 00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,875 It's two days now. She won't eat. 124 00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,960 Well, she definitely ate something, 125 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:21,923 because I found a juicy turd on the stairs this morning. 126 00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,174 Oh shit, I'm sorry. 127 00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:27,637 No, no, that was me. I had tequila last night. 128 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,018 She doesn't like laughter. 129 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:37,063 -How long have you had this dog? -Five weeks. 130 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:38,064 Do you love her? 131 00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,900 -That feels like a trick question. -She cost $5,000. 132 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,986 I'm just saying, a dog is not a child. 133 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,407 And if it's not a good fit, then you could find a different home for her. 134 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:51,994 There's a couple right down the road here, huge animal rescue people. 135 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,789 Yeah, they have a pot-bellied pig and so many senior cats. 136 00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,165 I bet they'd take her. 137 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,834 We'll figure something out, Nick. 138 00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:01,379 We're just as qualified to be Patrizia's parents as any two upstate lesbians. 139 00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:04,006 -I never said they were lesbians. -They are. 140 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,883 I know, but I never said that. 141 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,395 Oh, it's working! 142 00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,814 -Oh my God. -Hi, can you see me? 143 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,816 This technology is amazing. 144 00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:25,570 -Hey! Dad, we're doing a talent show. -Great. 145 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:26,487 And I'm gonna win. 146 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,989 Cool your jets, big guy. 147 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:29,991 Oh my God! 148 00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:31,242 Hi! 149 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,160 Ooh, my nieces! 150 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,168 Hey! 151 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,085 Mom. 152 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:42,920 Mom, move into the camera. 153 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,380 You're not on the camera. 154 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,424 I see you just fine, baby. 155 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:47,967 Okay, let's just start. 156 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,679 Kick it off, Jack! Kick it off! 157 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,724 La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la 158 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,976 La-la-la-la-la 159 00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:59,479 Tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la 160 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,898 Ho, ho, ho! Ha, ha, ha! 161 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,274 Ho, ho, ho! 162 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,153 Wrist full of rocks, hope I float Big up yourself, you know they don't 163 00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:08,946 I chew, chew 'cause they hope I choke 164 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:09,989 I'm a bitch… 165 00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,115 What? 166 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,533 Yes! 167 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:13,451 Do it! 168 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,244 I'm a boss, I'm a bitch 169 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,956 My dear Lady Disdain, are you yet living? 170 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,959 -Courtesy itself must convert to disdain… -Oh, brother! 171 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,670 Now it's some boring play they did in college. 172 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,631 Dad, mute! 173 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:35,306 A lot of work texts. Everything okay? 174 00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:36,682 -Yeah, it's all good. -Okay. 175 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,017 For my next impression, 176 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:42,647 this is my beloved Roberto Benigni getting a free refill of coffee! 177 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,150 Thank you! My God! 178 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,486 This is too much joy for me! 179 00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:51,656 I love the world! I want to make love to all of you! 180 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,325 Please! 181 00:08:56,536 --> 00:09:01,040 In the spirit of Riverdance, I bring you Lakedance. 182 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:10,424 Cheater. You're not really dancing. 183 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,177 That's it. 184 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,971 We see Lila on the spoons. 185 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,722 -This is really good. -Boo! 186 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,432 You're insane! 187 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:24,939 The first annual Covey award goes to… 188 00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:27,733 -My dad! -No! No! 189 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,238 Thank you, honey. 190 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:36,617 I guess I'm better than all of you. I am more talented. 191 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,411 -Shut up! -Oh God. 192 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,271 Goddamn it! 193 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,023 What's wrong? 194 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,900 Kate's not feeling well, so I sent her upstairs to do a test. 195 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,945 Wait, home tests? Where did you get those? 196 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,573 Yeah, our school nurse, Teresa, volunteers at a clinic, 197 00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:18,242 so she slipped me a case because I have pretty eyes. 198 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,953 -Oh. -Bad news. 199 00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:21,954 It's bright red. 200 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,165 How in the hell? 201 00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:25,666 We should go home, I guess. 202 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,711 No, we can't all go in the car. You might get Beth sick. 203 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:33,174 No, no, honey, just go up to Lila's room. I'll make you some tea and toast. Go on. 204 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,137 How'd this happen? 205 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,430 Huh? Who broke quarantine? 206 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,766 Nick, did you golf? 207 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:42,767 No. 208 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,727 What about you two, huh? 209 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,146 Any parties with your other, hotter friend group? 210 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:49,440 No. Calm down, Dr. Fauci. 211 00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:54,153 No, I won't calm down, because somebody among us has betrayed the lockdown. 212 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:57,073 This is the worst production of Jesus Christ Superstar I've ever seen. 213 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,824 Ow! 214 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,618 I'm fine! 215 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,078 Um… 216 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:07,041 Don't panic, but Patrizia has run into the woods with a bagel 217 00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:09,126 and just a little bit of my finger. 218 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,127 Okay. 219 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,422 Patrizia! 220 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,883 Come here! Right now! 221 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:19,804 Oh. 222 00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:21,639 I have to walk to you? 223 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,350 You little… 224 00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:29,605 Come on. Come on, Patrizia. 225 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:31,399 There we go. 226 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,488 Excuse me, do you know where Nick Pagano lives? 227 00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:38,698 Yeah, I do. 228 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,575 I told him I'd drop off this pie. 229 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:42,576 Oh. 230 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:47,123 Uh, well, I'll take it to him. His family has COVID right now. 231 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,625 Oh. Um… 232 00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:58,342 -Thank you. -I'll make sure he gets it, okay? Bye-bye. 233 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,898 -Where did you get that pie? -Just take her inside. 234 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:16,318 Okay. Come on, let's go. Let's go, Patrizia. 235 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,116 -Hey, hey. -Hey. 236 00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:24,034 You gonna watch the Notre Dame game with me? 237 00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:25,244 Sounds good. 238 00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:27,830 Should we also invite the chick who dropped this pie off for you? 239 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,916 -What? -"What?" 240 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,209 Never go into acting. 241 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,128 -Oh my God. -Yeah. 242 00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:35,337 Was she here? 243 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,923 None of my business. Just tighten up your game, all right? 244 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,301 Don't think for a second I'll eat that Fatal Attraction pie. 245 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,178 -Danny. Danny! -What? 246 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,262 It was… 247 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:45,806 It was a near miss. 248 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,224 That's all it was. 249 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,977 I got a little too friendly with an actuary. 250 00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,937 -Nick, I don't wanna know. -We kissed. 251 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,940 It was a stupid, drunk group dinner. 252 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:58,444 And then the next day, the world shut down. 253 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,279 Thank God. 254 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:07,578 Lockdown saved me, Danny. Being home here with Anne and Lila… 255 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:08,871 Woke you up? 256 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,164 Yes. 257 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:16,670 I have not said anything even remotely flirty to her in months, but she keeps-- 258 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,380 Texting you. No shit, Sherlock. 259 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,717 I am so grateful that nothing more happened. 260 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,678 Congratulations. Maybe you should tell your wife that, 261 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:27,264 because she flinches every time you receive a text. 262 00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,182 She doesn't… 263 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:31,977 Oh. 264 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,231 Okay. All right, I'll handle this. 265 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,107 I will text Maureen right now. 266 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,860 Maureen. Gross. 267 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:44,323 How is it hot and also freezing out here? 268 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,248 Okay. 269 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:57,086 No, no, what are you doing? 270 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,921 Oh no. 271 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,548 I'm sorry. 272 00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,770 Sounds like your baby misses you. 273 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,858 Yeah, that's probably why my baby runs away every ten minutes. 274 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,572 Also, am I crazy, 275 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:27,241 or did Claude basically say he didn't want to have children with me? 276 00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:28,784 I caught that. 277 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:33,372 Maybe ask him again when he's not trying to wrestle a dog into a ski outfit. 278 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,748 Hm. Yeah. 279 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,169 How's Jack? Is he freaking out? 280 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,172 A little bit. 281 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:45,384 You wanna open the window and scream a poem at him? 282 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:47,511 I know we're being weird, 283 00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:51,265 but these little rituals are what he needs right now. 284 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:55,603 You know his grade partner got so sick she had to be intubated. 285 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:56,645 Jesus. 286 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,982 So, now my job is to be 287 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:04,486 as calm and comforting as a gravity blanket. 288 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,196 Ah. 289 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,033 He's lucky he married you. You never freak out. 290 00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:11,368 Freakouts are a choice. 291 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:14,246 Adults should not freak out. 292 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,832 That's insane. Say more. 293 00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:21,128 It's just kind of narcissistic, you know? 294 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:26,592 It's like, oh, you get to be the one who loses their mind and creates chaos. 295 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:28,135 What a luxury. 296 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:34,642 And why do we think we're this way? And by we, I mean you. 297 00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:36,894 Eh… 298 00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:40,022 When I was in sixth grade, 299 00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:45,486 I had to live with my aunt because my mom wouldn't stop crying. 300 00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:49,990 Wait, what? 301 00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:51,784 It's okay. 302 00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,915 Come on. Poopy-poo. 303 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:01,919 Poop! 304 00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,421 Come on, Patrizia. Please. Stop barking. 305 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,592 Oh! Thank you so much. 306 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,679 Go, let's go. Come on. 307 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,263 -May I ask you a question? -Hm? 308 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:18,852 When you were picking out a dog, why did you choose one that hates you? 309 00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,604 Okay, I had no choice. 310 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:24,942 Danny's the one who wanted a dog. I wanted a bird named Patrizia. 311 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:29,613 A bird? A bird would have been so great at staying in your apartment. 312 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:32,116 Believe me, I wish I could tell Danny to return her 313 00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,326 to whatever store in hell he bought her from. 314 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:38,497 She always goes straight for my genitals every time I get out of the shower. 315 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,582 Well, I'm sorry about that. 316 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:44,294 Do you think I can talk to the lesbians without Danny? 317 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,506 No. No. No, no, no. It's not the right thing to do. 318 00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:48,632 I don't know, man. 319 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:49,967 Sometimes the right thing to do 320 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:53,178 is just whatever doesn't blow up your entire world. 321 00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:57,725 Take me to the lesbians. 322 00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:01,103 If it's meant to be, you'll find them. 323 00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:04,898 I'm kidding. I will call Dana. 324 00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:07,943 -Yeah? -Okay. Stay away from my genitals. 325 00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,071 Danny? 326 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:13,949 -Danny. -Hm? 327 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,325 Patrizia's gone. 328 00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,119 What do you mean Patrizia's gone? 329 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,997 She ran away, and we look everywhere, but we can't find her. 330 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,291 Oh. Okay, uh… 331 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,543 Where are you going? No, no, you're too sick to go out. 332 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,795 Titties Glenn Close will skin her. 333 00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,174 Huh? 334 00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:31,425 It's the fever. 335 00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,260 I need you to be honest with me, all right? 336 00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:36,847 You didn't go anywhere, did you, Lila? Like, no play dates? 337 00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,182 I'm literally 15. 338 00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:41,310 Patrizia! Patrizia! 339 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,644 Okay, what about a bubble? 340 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,230 You in some kind of a bubble, like a school bubble? 341 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:47,983 -You're the only one that went anywhere. -No, I didn't. 342 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,986 Yeah, you went to the clinic that Nurse Teresa works at, 343 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,031 and then you stood in line with a bunch of people who thought they had COVID. 344 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:03,624 Will you taste this? 345 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,378 Mom, that's so salty. 346 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,467 Nick! 347 00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:16,553 Make sure the turkey gets to 165. Okay, that's my brain. 348 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,055 Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. 349 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,557 Throw away the potatoes. There's still yams. 350 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,684 And Lila knows how to do the Brussels sprouts. 351 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,602 Yes, ma'am. 352 00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:28,607 Here we go. Six, seven, eight, all right. 353 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,359 There we go. 354 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:31,777 Oh. 355 00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,280 Who are you texting? 356 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,699 I was setting a 15-minute timer. 357 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:38,659 Oh. 358 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,959 -Mwah! -Are you nuts? 359 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,252 We're all going down. 360 00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:20,450 Patrizia. 361 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:24,955 Oh. 362 00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:26,957 Patrizia. 363 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:29,626 Where the fuck is that dog? 364 00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:32,963 -What if we call you Patty? -Uh… 365 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:36,842 Are you Patty? Are you Patty? 366 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:38,886 Good girl. 367 00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:40,762 Patrizia. Paw. 368 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,723 Good girl. 369 00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:44,766 Oh, her paws are a little yeasty. 370 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,227 Yeah, we should throw out all that food that guy gave us. 371 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:48,520 Mm-hm. 372 00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,732 For fuck's sake, look at her eyes. 373 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,860 -Oh, they're so beautiful. -What are you doing? 374 00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:55,861 Oh, the beauty. 375 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,490 Perfect girl. Up. 376 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:04,578 -Good girl. -Let me get in there. 377 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:07,080 Hi. Can you kiss it? 378 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,457 You're such a good girl. 379 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,210 -My goodness. -You are home. 380 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,837 Kiss. 381 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:19,843 Turn on the TV news. Listen to the radio. 382 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,930 Everyone is concerned about COVID and Thanksgiving, right? 383 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,891 Two facts to keep in mind. COVID right now is on… 384 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,769 Hey! What are you doing? 385 00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:30,354 Stay away, I'm infected. 386 00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:31,772 I am too. 387 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,107 Huh? 388 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,943 -Wait-- -We're COVID buddies. 389 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:39,029 I got everybody sick. 390 00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,614 I must be asymptomatic. 391 00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:44,409 Okay, your worst nightmare came true. Now what? I have news for you, buddy. 392 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,412 You cannot control the universe with your butthole. Get out. 393 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:50,165 -Get out. Come on. -No. Everybody's mad at me. 394 00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,751 -What? -Everybody's mad at me. 395 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,836 I can't hear what you're saying. 396 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,755 -Everybody's mad at me. -Yes, I can, I can hear. 397 00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,382 Goddamn it! 398 00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,716 I got it. 399 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:00,634 Come on. 400 00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:02,970 Here, here. Take it. Take it. Take it. 401 00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:05,847 Look, nobody's mad at you. It's not your fault. 402 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,266 No, it's your fault. 403 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,893 Hold on a second. How am I in trouble? 404 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:12,020 You made us come here, all right? 405 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,398 You told me everything was gonna be fine, and it's not fine. 406 00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:16,441 Okay, you can be mad if you want. 407 00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:17,567 I'm not mad! 408 00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:18,652 -Yes, you are. -God. 409 00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:21,822 And whenever you pretend not to be, it comes out sideways. 410 00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:25,617 So, there you go. Hit my hand as hard as you can. 411 00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,369 What? No, I'll hurt you. 412 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:30,247 -Oh, fuck you, you'll hurt me. -I'm not hitting you, all right? 413 00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:35,043 Hit it. Oh, that's right. You can't hit me because you're America's nicest boy. 414 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,421 Stop touching me. 415 00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:39,840 I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you at all. 416 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:44,136 Good, good, let it out. Remember, I got the back stuff. 417 00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:45,053 Selfish prick. 418 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,139 Well, you had to have your party, huh? 419 00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:49,224 You always do whatever the fuck you want. 420 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:50,642 You don't care who gets hurt. 421 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:53,353 No, no, I'm not that guy! 422 00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:58,275 Oh, you are legendarily that guy! How do you think you won the talent show? 423 00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:02,195 'Cause even the children understand you're a little fucking baby! 424 00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,489 -Fuck you, I'm trying. -Well, not hard enough. 425 00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:05,449 Get off of me! 426 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:09,995 I wish I was like you! 427 00:22:10,078 --> 00:22:14,708 You're such a good man. You take care of your family. 428 00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:19,713 Yeah, but I didn't! Goddamn it! I'm so sick of being scared! 429 00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:21,298 Fuck! 430 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,592 Fuck! 431 00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:27,429 Okay. 432 00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:30,474 There you go. 433 00:22:31,641 --> 00:22:32,768 Good job. 434 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,313 You can always dump this stuff on me. 435 00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:37,439 Okay. 436 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:40,609 Are you crying? 437 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:42,027 No. 438 00:22:42,819 --> 00:22:44,321 I'm helping you. 439 00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:46,740 I win. 440 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:54,831 You didn't find her? 441 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:59,127 No, Claude, I sure didn't. 442 00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:03,673 I walked all over and didn't see a single lost dog. 443 00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:07,552 Saw a lot of dogs with owners, but no lost dogs. 444 00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,263 What a mystery. 445 00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:14,393 Hopefully she finds a family who loves her as much as we did. 446 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:19,147 Well, but we'll never know because we certainly never talked about it 447 00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:20,607 or chose them. 448 00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:26,238 I guess all we'll ever know is uncertainty and heartbreak. 449 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,449 "Heartbreak" is a strong word. 450 00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:34,121 No? It's like Nick said. Um, "A dog is not a child." 451 00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:36,081 Well, thank God we don't have one of those. 452 00:23:36,164 --> 00:23:38,917 I guess this proves that we're not cut out for it. 453 00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:43,046 But Danny, that's a whole different conversation. Come on. 454 00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:46,925 Listen. 455 00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:50,262 -What? -Can COVID give you diarrhea? 456 00:23:50,345 --> 00:23:52,556 It can, yes. 457 00:23:52,639 --> 00:23:53,890 Oh boy. 458 00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:11,533 There's so much food, and everything tastes like metal. 459 00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:15,620 I can't wait to blast this everywhere in an hour. 460 00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:18,415 Thank you, Nick, 461 00:24:18,498 --> 00:24:21,209 for the best worst Thanksgiving of my life. 462 00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:25,839 I am sorry that I made everyone come here. 463 00:24:27,340 --> 00:24:31,052 And I am sorry that Jack made everyone sick. 464 00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:38,560 But I need you guys. 465 00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:40,645 Like a donkey. 466 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:45,775 Did you know that you can't just have one donkey? 467 00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:48,778 You have to have two donkeys, 468 00:24:48,862 --> 00:24:50,280 or else they go insane. 469 00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:52,282 This is true. 470 00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:54,576 It's true. 471 00:24:56,369 --> 00:24:57,829 Bless you, honey. 472 00:25:08,590 --> 00:25:09,424 Oh! 473 00:25:10,133 --> 00:25:12,928 Somebody brought a whole pie, and I never even put it out. 474 00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:18,475 That was glass. Why did you just throw that out? 475 00:25:18,558 --> 00:25:20,060 Uh-- 476 00:25:20,143 --> 00:25:22,562 That's a fresh pie. We can have it tomorrow. 477 00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:24,022 I-- I, uh-- 478 00:25:24,105 --> 00:25:25,106 We don't… 479 00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:28,193 Are you okay? 480 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:35,075 The person who kept texting me was a woman. 481 00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:37,202 I did not sleep with her. 482 00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:39,746 I did kiss her. 483 00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:43,792 A stupid, meaningless flirtation. 484 00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:48,255 And it's completely over, and it'll never happen again. 485 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,427 Yeah, but it probably will happen again though, right, Nick? 486 00:25:54,511 --> 00:25:57,389 No, Annie, it won't. 487 00:25:58,473 --> 00:25:59,516 Okay. 488 00:26:01,351 --> 00:26:03,853 What about the woman at the golf tournament a couple years ago, 489 00:26:03,937 --> 00:26:05,146 the brunette? 490 00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,399 You remember, the one with the nails? 491 00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:11,486 Yes. 492 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:12,737 Mm. 493 00:26:15,490 --> 00:26:16,741 I knew it. 494 00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:18,410 I fucked up. I'm sorry. 495 00:26:19,953 --> 00:26:21,621 I love you. 496 00:26:22,372 --> 00:26:23,790 Please don't leave me. 497 00:26:24,374 --> 00:26:25,834 God, you're a douchebag. 498 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,753 You don't think I'm gonna leave you, 499 00:26:28,837 --> 00:26:32,632 because you think I don't know how to live without you. 500 00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:35,885 And that is why this is so fucking mean. 501 00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:36,803 Oh, honey… 502 00:26:36,886 --> 00:26:40,890 No, do not come near me. Fuck this. I'm done! 503 00:27:09,419 --> 00:27:11,296 Fuck. 504 00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:50,335 I cannot be here for Christmas.