1 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,720 - How do you know the groom? - Oh, he's my brother. 2 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,200 - Wait here. - No. Niall! 3 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:36,120 Oh, here he comes. Look at this. You coming for a dance, are you? 4 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,560 Why are you here? 5 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,000 - Nice to see you too, Bambi. - Don't fucking call me that! 6 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,800 Why are you here? 7 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,200 Not like this. Let's go somewhere private. 8 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,400 Fine. 9 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:43,000 - So, it's definite? - Yes, madam. All looking good here. 10 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:44,720 But that can't be. 11 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,359 I mean, I've been told I can't get pregnant. 12 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,719 I've been told it would never happen. 13 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:52,560 Well, I've been doing this for 20 years and I can safely say you are. 14 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,280 Around nine weeks, to be precise. 15 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,760 So, do you guys have any questions? 16 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,680 Yeah, I mean, what happens now? 17 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,759 Well, I think you need to start planning. 18 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,799 This is a geriatric pregnancy, 19 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,039 and you need to limit anything which causes stress in your life. 20 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,800 Jesus, Niall! You're gonna have to move out then. 21 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,320 And that machine's trustworthy, is it? 22 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,199 Excuse me? 23 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:24,119 It's just you hear stories, don't you? You know, people getting scanned 24 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:25,999 and there actually being nothing in there at all, 25 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,079 like a phantom pregnancy, I think it's called, 26 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,440 something which isn't there but its presence is... 27 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:32,479 is felt. 28 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,600 I'll have a phantom relationship if you keep talking. 29 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:38,880 No, rest assured, Mr. Kennedy, this is very real. 30 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:44,000 And something you need to plan for, regardless of what you decide to do. 31 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,640 I'll leave you guys to chat. 32 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,759 It's bad luck, at least. 33 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:56,039 We have sex, like, once in six months and I get pregnant. 34 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,479 Just think about it, Niall. 35 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,360 All the crying and screaming and mood swings. 36 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,040 And then there's the baby to think about. 37 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,000 You can be honest with me, you know. 38 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,880 - About what? - About whether you want this. 39 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,360 Go on. Free pass. No judgment. 40 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,640 God, I don't know. I mean... 41 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:24,760 Are you saying you want to do it? 42 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:26,640 I think so. 43 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,760 I'm 42. Been told I could never have kids. 44 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,040 This genuinely might be my last chance to be unhappy. 45 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,560 But, hey, Niall, silver linings. 46 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,480 At least it's a short commute to work for me today. 47 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,040 I'll see you later on. 48 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,400 Oh, wait. Are you still on for dinner with Ruben and Mona later? 49 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,679 That's today, is it? Christ! 50 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:59,279 They're not gonna be all over each other again like last time, are they? 51 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,560 No, I don't think so. I've spoken to them about that. 52 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,480 Then fine, I'll be there. 53 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:06,520 Bye, Niall. 54 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,320 Or should I say, "Daddy"? 55 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,200 You're fucking gorgeous, aren't you? 56 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,119 And this neck. I could fucking eat this neck. 57 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,760 Just be a fucking head and some shoulders. 58 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,240 Sorry, what were you saying? 59 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:43,439 Oh, I was just talking about Greece potentially heading out the Eurozone 60 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,000 and going back to the Drachma. 61 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,199 Right, yeah. Shite. 62 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,079 Look, shall we call it here? It's getting dark soon. 63 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,079 Hey, no way! I haven't asked Niall about his new book yet. 64 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,439 - Oh, fuck me. - Yeah, let's call it here, Ruben. 65 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,919 I'll order you guys a taxi. 66 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,039 Go ahead, Niall. I'm listening. What's this one about? 67 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:04,439 Well, it's a semi-autobiographical story about a young boy who's-- 68 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:06,199 Good Lord, he's starting. Hurry it up, Ruben. 69 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,759 I'm texting as quick as I can. Don't worry. 70 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,119 Yeah, brilliant. 71 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,759 Oh, stop. We're just having banter. 72 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,639 You know, one day I'll have a partner that respects me. 73 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,160 Wow. Can't wait to meet her. 74 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,960 Fucking love this girl. 75 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,880 Right. Driver says he's five minutes away. 76 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:26,840 I'll walk you out. 77 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,360 Can you believe it? 78 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,359 Drinking fucking wine out in the garden like a couple of posh cunts. 79 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,759 Where we've come from. 80 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,119 - Fuck me. - I know. 81 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:42,240 Oh, man, look. I know I joke, but I just wanted to say, proud of you. 82 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,119 I remember when we met back up, you were fucking rock-bottom, man, 83 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,199 now look at you. 84 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:51,399 Good girl, nice house, new book, massive cock. 85 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,480 That's always a constant. 86 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,519 When do you think you'll be done by? With the writing? 87 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,119 Oh, not long, I wouldn't say. It's the final push. 88 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,719 Just... just figuring out the ending. 89 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:04,999 Oh, yeah. 90 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,600 Well, a book's gonna need an ending, isn't it? 91 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,360 Why do you ask? 92 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:14,520 Well, look, I... 93 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,080 I hate to do this, but... 94 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,480 I'm gonna need that money back I lent you. 95 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,199 - What, all of it? - Yeah, fucking all of it. 96 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,879 Jesus, Ruben, it's 30 grand. 97 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,519 Can't we just wait six months until the launch bonus comes through? 98 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,239 No chance. Just write the ending and get the book done. 99 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,640 - Any ending will do. - Oh, come on, Ruben. 100 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,039 I mean, that'd be compromising my artistic integrity. 101 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,480 You'll feel a lot better about it when I'm compromising your health. 102 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,319 - Okay, that was harsh. - Don't need to apologize. 103 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,680 I didn't. 104 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,440 - Don't forget his bag. - Oh, thank you. 105 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,240 Yeah, lovely to see you. 106 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,039 Look, can we chat about this another time? I don't want Ava to hear. 107 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,119 How? 108 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,839 - She knows you owe me this money. - Yeah, it's just... 109 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,800 She thinks I paid you back already. 110 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,800 But you didn't pay me back. 111 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:09,920 I know. 112 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:14,119 Fuck me. You stole 30K from your girlfriend? 113 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,599 - Stole it from her dad. - Still, that's fucking insane. 114 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,480 What on earth did you spend it on? 115 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:20,999 It doesn't matter. It's nothing important. 116 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,160 Well, clearly more important than paying me back. 117 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,599 Are you seriously telling me you had my money 118 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,480 and kept it all for yourself? 119 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,440 Yeah. 120 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,400 I'm sorry. 121 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,600 You shouldn't have told me that, Niall. 122 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,880 You really shouldn't have told me that. 123 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,799 It's just weird. 124 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,319 He earns a hundred grand a year. What does he need it for? 125 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,239 I don't know, Niall. Why don't you tell me your theory, 126 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,599 so I can use it to point out your character flaws? 127 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,679 - He's fucking with me... - Brilliant. 128 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:13,919 ...to get me back for prison, 129 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,319 by asking it back at a pivotal career moment. 130 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,439 Oh, please. He gets you back for screwing him over 131 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,559 by giving you the equivalent of a semi-detached? 132 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,559 I didn't screw him over. We've been through this. 133 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,039 We screwed each other over. 134 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,519 - That's what we settled on. - Still pretty long, 135 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,839 arduous, expensive fucking with you, isn't it? 136 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,919 Lending you money and knowing he will never get it back? 137 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:34,999 When breaking your fingers is so cheap. 138 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,800 No, I'm telling you. This is what he does. 139 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,639 Niall, he's done more for you than anyone these past few years. 140 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,079 He kept you going financially, 141 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:45,040 after you practically cleared me out of house and home with your nonsense. 142 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,719 I think your problem is you still think of him 143 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,360 as the boy you grew up with. 144 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,399 Just talk to him. Take him somewhere he enjoys. 145 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,919 Catch him at a good moment. He'll be fine. 146 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:01,200 He'll wait another six months. I promise you. 147 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,040 He's big and fluffy underneath it all, really. 148 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,439 Motherfucker! I just find it fucking ridiculous. 149 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:17,719 Get this. Mona said last night she wants to start teaching dance classes. 150 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,120 Have you ever heard of anything so fucking stupid? 151 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,000 I asked her what she'd get from it. 152 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,159 You know what she said? "Self-empowerment." 153 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:30,319 It's pathetic. She's my wife. She should take all her power from me. 154 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,159 I've spoiled her rotten, 155 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,999 and now she's telling me she needs a life when I've given her the best one around. 156 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,199 It's fucking rude, is what it is. 157 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,199 And I don't trust the cunt that's asking her either. 158 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,639 Benji. Fucking Uncle Rico twat. 159 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,479 He has ill intentions, and it pisses me off. 160 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,679 I want to go down there and crack his head open, 161 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,720 dance on his fucking brains. 162 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,120 Anyway, what do you want to speak to me about? 163 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,159 Oh, just this money business. 164 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,919 Oh, fuck me. Is that why we're here? Soften me with soft toys? 165 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,399 - Well, I thought it would be nice. - Yeah, you're paying me back, Niall. 166 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,279 - That's not fair. - "Not fair"? 167 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:10,039 You know, you're the only cunt in the world who could borrow 30K 168 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,439 and then make the other cunt feel unreasonable for asking it back. 169 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,559 Yeah, but can't we come up with some sort of system instead? 170 00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:18,680 - Sure, you can pay me back 800 a month. - Impossible. 171 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,639 - I mean, I could do 200 at a press. - No, it's not enough. 172 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:24,479 Well, then I'm out of options, Ruben. 173 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,359 Short of giving up on my dreams, and I'm not willing to do that. 174 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,680 Come on, Niall. They've given up on you. 175 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,399 - Okay, that was harsh. - Don't need to apologize. 176 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:37,640 I fucking didn't. 177 00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:45,759 Look, I'm not a monster, all right? There are other ways of doing this. 178 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,359 What other ways? 179 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,279 Well, I pay a gardener and a cleaner 15 pound an hour. 180 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,639 I can let them go, you can pick up the slack, 181 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,120 deduct it from the total. 182 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:59,040 - You want me to be your bitch? - Hey, Mr. Radeem is nobody's bitch. 183 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,040 But that's one way of doing it. 184 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,959 Couple of times a week, we can call it 200 a month. 185 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,479 Add it to the 200, that's 400 total. I can stomach that for now. 186 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:11,000 Yeah, but, Ruben, Jesus. I'm not sure I feel comfortable with that. 187 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,040 I mean... 188 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,320 do you feel comfortable with that? 189 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,760 Yeah. I think I can live with it. 190 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:52,960 Hi. 191 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:54,880 Care to join? 192 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,160 Sure. 193 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,720 I hate that he's making you do this. 194 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,640 - So, where is he? - God knows. 195 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:20,760 Stalking through the night. 196 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,479 I take it you suggested these dance classes again. 197 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:26,560 Is that right? 198 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:28,760 Yep. 199 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,960 - He stormed straight out. - I see. 200 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,320 Are you gonna defy him? 201 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:36,800 Nah. 202 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:40,240 Can't start World War III over a few twirls. 203 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,120 Maybe you could write a chapter in your book about me going? 204 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,039 I can read it and it'll be like I'm there. 205 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,840 Oh, it wouldn't be what you're looking for. 206 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,599 - I haven't danced in my life. - Oh, come on now. 207 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,040 - Scottish Country Dancing at school? - Oh, piss off! 208 00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,719 Most embarrassing experience of my life. Nobody would dance with me. 209 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,480 Meanwhile, Ruben had about five women hanging off of him. 210 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,680 That's our boy. 211 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,000 Yeah. 212 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:15,560 I miss that Ruben, you know? 213 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:19,360 Yeah. 214 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,400 Me too. 215 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,440 What do you think happened? 216 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:28,840 It's men. 217 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,080 They always fall away with time. 218 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,160 Look, I'd better head off, actually. 219 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:45,720 Ava will be wondering. 220 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:47,800 You go, tiger. 221 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,360 Oh, I forgot to say... 222 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,800 I remember you dancing, 223 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,240 back at school. 224 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,120 It's hard to describe, but... 225 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,680 I remember you just being so... 226 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,080 free. 227 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,439 - Ruben? - What'd you say to her? 228 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:53,279 - Excuse me? - She's taking her first class tonight! 229 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,839 Something about how she looked dancing back at school. 230 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,439 - Oh, it was just a comment. - Well, what are you doing commenting? 231 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,519 She was just about to back out of the whole fucking thing. 232 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,159 Ruben, I really don't think this is a big deal. 233 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,719 Yes, it is. You fucked me. 234 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,599 Because now instead of stopping her hobby, I'm stifling her freedom. 235 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,279 I don't see what the problem is here. 236 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:12,559 The problem is she used to stay at home all day and wait for me. 237 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,999 Now I get back and she's out there throwing her fucking body about. 238 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,199 So? There's nothing wrong with enjoying a bit of attention. 239 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,119 I mean, if you've got it, flaunt it, that's what I say. 240 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:23,519 Hey, hey, hey. She hasn't got it. We're married. I've fucking got it. 241 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,720 It's not hers to flaunt, it's mine to keep. 242 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,159 Are you taking your meds, Ruben? 243 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,159 I'll fucking take all of them if you don't sort this out. 244 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,400 Well, what do you want me to do? 245 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,840 I want you to go down the dance class and keep an eye on her. 246 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:38,999 You want me to stalk your wife? 247 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,000 No, I don't want you to stalk my wife, Niall. Jesus Christ! 248 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,199 Just stay close to her. Trace her movements. 249 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,799 Follow her around the place a bit. 250 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,000 But don't stalk her. 251 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,240 I don't know, Ruben. This all feels a bit... 252 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:54,879 - off to me. - Oh, I don't know. 253 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,720 You've done worse than this before, have you not? 254 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,360 I mean, maybe we can go upstairs to Ava, let her decide. 255 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,200 Or her father. 256 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,840 But what? Are you expecting me to, like, join in? 257 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:13,320 Yeah, why not? If you're so pro it, maybe you'll find freedom in it too. 258 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:15,880 And stop her drinking. 259 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,680 She always spills her guts when she drinks. 260 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:41,960 Fuck's sake! 261 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:43,800 Christ. 262 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,240 Okay, guys, shall we begin? 263 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,360 Okay, we're going deep squat. Ready? 264 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,040 Three, two, one. 265 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,559 Well done. I loved the class. 266 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,479 - I know. How was it? - Yeah. 267 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,680 Everyone was moving. I'm sweating so much right now. 268 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,199 - Me too. Or I was. It was great. - Well done. 269 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,480 Let me give you a hug. 270 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,640 I'm sorry. 271 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,999 You know what Ruben's like when he gets persuasive. 272 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,080 Yeah, I do, actually, which is why I'm not giving into it this time. 273 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,600 I'll get to 60 and realize I've spent my life in his pockets. 274 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,000 - I mean, is this really all about dancing? - No. 275 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,440 Goes a lot deeper than that. 276 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,520 - Well, go on. You can say. - No, I can't. 277 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:07,880 It'll destroy him. 278 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,080 Well, how about a drink instead? 279 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:18,159 What? He asked how old you were? 280 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:22,599 Yeah, this random dude. Told me it's great to see me going for it at my age. 281 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,480 - That's insane. What did you say? - I told him I was 30. 282 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,319 That's nuts, Niall. You look like a prisoner of war. 283 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,679 I feel like a prisoner of war. 284 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:35,240 You fucking will be if you turn up at my dance classes again, I tell you. 285 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:36,920 I'm sorry, Mona. 286 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:38,720 I'll stay away. 287 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,159 I need to anyway. Ava's starting to think I'm avoiding her. 288 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:43,720 Why would you be avoiding her? 289 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,480 Well, she's pregnant, as it happens. 290 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,520 Wow. Congrats. That's quick. 291 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,520 - Yeah. - What's wrong? You doubting it? 292 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,840 We've been together a year and we barely know each other. 293 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:08,359 Well, I would say that's better than knowing everything about someone. 294 00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:09,400 Yeah, maybe. 295 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,800 Just makes me question if it's real, you know? 296 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,799 Ruben is gonna go radge when he finds out Ava's pregnant. 297 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,080 Oh, yeah? Why's that? 298 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,160 He's infertile. 299 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,079 What? 300 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,160 Well, low fertility, but it's pretty much the same thing. 301 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,199 - Is this why he's been so jealous? - Yeah. 302 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,120 He thinks I'm gonna leave him for a man that can give me all he can't. 303 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:48,079 - Wow. Ruben? - Why is this so shocking? 304 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,480 It's just for a man that leads with his balls... 305 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:52,280 That's not funny. 306 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,160 No. Sorry. 307 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:01,959 Have you talked about adopting? 308 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,720 Once, but Ruben tore the kitchen sink off the wall. 309 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,719 I don't think you realize how bad it is. 310 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,760 It's like... he's lost his mind to the whole thing. 311 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,719 He gets drunk and talks about how having a kid 312 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,720 is "God's plan" for him so he can "break the cycle." 313 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,159 - What do you think he means by that? - Christ knows. 314 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,919 I just think he wants a kid he can care for 315 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,040 because his dad didn't treat him so nice. 316 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:32,680 Yeah. 317 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,639 But anyway, let's change the subject. 318 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,319 - This is depressing. - Yeah. 319 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,759 To our fucked-up relationships. 320 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,280 To our... fucked-up lives. 321 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:48,800 I love it. 322 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,120 Jesus, Niall. 323 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,840 Where on earth have you been? 324 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,800 I think we should do it. 325 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,920 I think we should have a baby together. 326 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,639 Ava's pregnant, and we're gonna make a go of it. 327 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,680 Oh, yeah? 328 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:57,119 - Is that it? "Oh, yeah"? - I was just waiting for the caveat. 329 00:21:57,120 --> 00:22:00,519 No, there's no caveat. We're doing this. I told her last night. 330 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,279 - When did she get pregnant? - I found out a week ago. 331 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,639 Well, that doesn't sound very certain to me. 332 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,479 Well, I was just thinking it through. Ava and I are still very new, 333 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,320 and it's a big thing to put at the center of things. 334 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,000 You can say that again. 335 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,520 I mean, it's hard enough without everything else. 336 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,320 "Everything else," as in? 337 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,240 Your sexuality. 338 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,039 - That's over, Mum. I've told you this. - Is it though? 339 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,319 I find it very convenient you find your straight side 340 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,239 the second Ruben is back in your life. 341 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:31,719 How many times? It was a phase. 342 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:35,199 It wasn't a phase, Niall. It was a serious problem. 343 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,319 Well, then how come it stopped? 344 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,239 Because you enlisted the services of a priest. 345 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,279 Nobody pays that much money to get themselves 346 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,280 - out of a bloody phase. - He wasn't a priest. 347 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,119 He was a spiritual figure. 348 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:48,960 He was a charlatan and you're a div. 349 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:56,760 Well, it worked, didn't it? 350 00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,119 Oh, bollocks, did it. 351 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:01,679 Do you really think your sexuality can be done away 352 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,959 with a few cups of poison? Don't be daft, Niall. Jesus! 353 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,559 Well, then how come I haven't done anything since then? 354 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,079 Because you haven't been tested yet. 355 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,079 Trust me. It will creep up on you in your darkest hour. 356 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,159 These things always do. 357 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,359 Jesus Christ, just stop it, will you? You should be happy for me. 358 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:17,520 I am happy, love. 359 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,559 I'm just trying to make you see the full picture. 360 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,359 Can you honestly look me in the eye and say you're certain you want a child? 361 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,320 Yes, Mum. Yes, I can. 362 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,440 Well, then do it. 363 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,000 I'm certain. 364 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,479 The thing to forget is anything the books tell you. 365 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:51,679 Truth is, it can take a while for that bond to form, 366 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,240 particularly for the dads. 367 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,240 Excuse me. 368 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,360 It's Niall, isn't it? 369 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,120 - Yeah. - What did I just say? 370 00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,360 Something to do with the dads? 371 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,680 Yes. Very nearly a full sentence. 372 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:18,200 Just that it is natural for the dad to take longer to connect to the baby. 373 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:20,800 Fucking twat. 374 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,240 "What did I just say?" 375 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,040 Like I'm some schoolkid. 376 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,759 He just wants to make sure everyone's moving at the same pace. 377 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,199 Yeah, he always looks at me when he makes the negative points, though. 378 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,399 Well, you give off the vibe of an absent father, to be fair. 379 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,119 - How do I? - Runs in the family. 380 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:37,159 Your father was an absent father, was he not? 381 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:38,879 - He died. - Exactly. 382 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,920 You don't get much more absent than that, do you? 383 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:48,360 - Oh, Jesus, what now? - What the fuck is he doing here? 384 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,400 Ruben? 385 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,560 What are you doing here? 386 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,840 - I just need a word. - Everything okay? 387 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:09,280 We'll be fine. 388 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,280 Just give us a second, will you? 389 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:34,600 The other night. 390 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:36,760 Dance class. 391 00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:39,920 I want to know what you saw. 392 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:42,920 I didn't see anything. 393 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:46,240 Was Benji there? 394 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:48,840 Yeah, I think so. 395 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,120 What happened? 396 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:53,239 Nothing. 397 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:54,359 - They talked? - Yeah. 398 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:57,480 - Well, then something happened, didn't it? - Well, a talk doesn't mean anything. 399 00:25:58,760 --> 00:25:59,800 Describe it. 400 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:01,840 The interaction. 401 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,959 Well, he went up at the end of the class. 402 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,159 - They hugged-- - They hugged? 403 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,639 - Yeah. - They fucking hugged. 404 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,680 - Motherfucker! - Ruben, that is too... 405 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,720 That's too far! It was a... 406 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,199 It was like a friendly hug. 407 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:18,639 - Do it on me. - No. 408 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,599 - I can't indulge this-- - The hug. Do it on me. 409 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,720 Okay, I'm Mona. You're Benji. Do it on me. 410 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,480 - Come on. - Well, it was just like... 411 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,559 She may as well have sucked his cock! 412 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,599 - This is insane! - No, it's not. Okay? 413 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,839 I want you to do better here, moving forward. 414 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,799 I can't keep doing this. I can't. I have a life. 415 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,799 What fucking life do you have? You're practically unemployed. 416 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,999 Well, even so, I'm not gonna spend it spying on your wife. 417 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,200 Tough shit! 418 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,679 When you get yourself a life, you can complain I'm pulling you from it. 419 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:53,999 So, you're fucking doing this, all right? 'Cause I've got your fucking balls, Bambi. 420 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,280 Don't forget it, yeah? 421 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,520 Yeah? Do you understand? 422 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,520 - Do you understand? - Yes. 423 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:05,760 Good. 424 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:07,400 Good. 425 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,840 Is there anything else you need to say, hmm? 426 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,160 Yeah. 427 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:20,320 Ava's pregnant. 428 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:32,720 Wow. 429 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:35,600 Wow. 430 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:38,600 That's amazing. 431 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,080 Honestly, that's... 432 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,880 That's amazing. 433 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:51,240 I'm gonna be an uncle. 434 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,200 Hey? 435 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,200 Uncle Rube. 436 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,880 Hey, it's got a nice ring to it. Yeah? 437 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,239 I'll be the cunt that comes round 438 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,760 and does the coin trick behind the ear, huh? 439 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:07,879 You're not allowed to teach him it. 440 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,840 Hey, that's my trick, yeah? You big fucking shagger. 441 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,200 Yeah? I'm proud of you. 442 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,799 My brother from another lover, yeah? Putting your fucking dick to work. 443 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,599 Hey, hey. Hey. 444 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,800 They should put it in museums, shouldn't they? 445 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:24,079 Your cock on display, yeah? Can you imagine? 446 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,039 Big fucking dick with a strong seed. 447 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,319 All the people in the museum wandering around, looking over. 448 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,919 I bet never in a million years 449 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,119 would they think it was strapped to a fucking body this meek. 450 00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:38,559 Yeah, or a face this fucking scrawny, hey? 451 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:42,559 I bet they thought it'd be strapped to some fucking big bison of a cunt, 452 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:47,239 some fucking, like, Greek muscly fucker, some fucking Russian cunt, yeah? 453 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,079 - Yeah? Hey, hey. - Don't-- 454 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,479 Hey, why don't you show me it, yeah? Fuck it, hey? 455 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:52,719 - Come on, show me, hey? - Don't-- 456 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,519 Hey. Niall, show me. Show me. 457 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:55,639 - Show me, hey? - Ruben, don't! 458 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:57,159 I just wanna catch a glimpse. Come on, mate. 459 00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:58,919 - Don't-- Get off! - Hey? Hey? Hey! No, no! 460 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,159 It's like a fucking trophy, isn't it, hey? Hey, hey, fucking show me. 461 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:06,599 Yeah. Come on. Come on, Niall, hey? It's like a big fucking trophy, isn't it? 462 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:07,679 - Hey. - Get off! 463 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,439 Yeah. Come on, Niall, yeah? Yeah? Come on, Niall. 464 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:11,879 - Come on, show me your fucking dick. - No! 465 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,959 Come on, Niall. Get it out, yeah? 466 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,599 - Yeah? Yeah? - What the fuck are you doing? 467 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,639 Yeah? No, no, no, no. Come on, come on, come on. 468 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,359 Come on, I want to see the big fucking shagging... 469 00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:20,439 No! Fucking get off! 470 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,599 - ...impregnating fucking piece. - Ruben, stop! 471 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,919 You're gonna do better for me moving forward, are you, yeah? 472 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:26,359 You're gonna fucking keep an eye on her. 473 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,159 You're gonna fucking keep an eye on her, are you? 474 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,559 - Huh? Yeah? Yeah? - Stop it! Get off! 475 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,320 - Yeah? Yeah? - Ruben! 476 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:35,960 What the hell's going on here? 477 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,120 Nothing. We're just messing around. 478 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:51,200 Look, it's getting late, yeah, so maybe you can come back another time. 479 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,000 You big fucking shagger. 480 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,080 You big shagger! 481 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,080 Yes! 482 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,640 - Hey, mister. - Hey. 483 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:54,560 Where's Ruben? 484 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,320 He left this morning for Aberdeen. 485 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:04,040 He'll be offshore next week, so we'll all get a bit of peace from him. 486 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,240 Do you fancy some soup? I'm going to put a pot on. 487 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:12,159 Sure. I'll just finish up here. 488 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,800 No, you won't. You've got more important work to do. 489 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:17,800 Follow me. 490 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,720 You're probably the first person to use this. 491 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,120 I was thinking you could write some of your book and read me it later. 492 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,440 Here's the Wi-Fi code. 493 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:31,199 And if you get chilly, 494 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:33,040 Ruben's dressing gown's on the back of the door. 495 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,200 I'm excited to read some. 496 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:53,880 Here you go. 497 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,240 - It's a bit hot. - Oh, thanks. 498 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:00,880 Go on, then. 499 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,799 - Read me some. - Oh, no, no. 500 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,679 I'll feel self-conscious. 501 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:09,360 Well, I'll close my eyes then. You can whisper to me. 502 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:23,560 "Billy looked up to Cosmo, who was everything he was not." 503 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:29,079 "He had a violent, unafraid quality, like he could go off any time somehow." 504 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,200 Sounds like Ruben. 505 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,000 "He was tall, slim, with jet-black hair, 506 00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:43,159 and seemed to have a succession of girls throwing themselves at him constantly, 507 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,560 all of whom he would brush off without a single care in the world." 508 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,760 "Apart from Kara Alice, the top girl in the whole school." 509 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:56,480 "Every boy fancied her." 510 00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:01,880 "She had this rare, wispy quality, like she was unattainable somehow." 511 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,599 "And Billy didn't know whether it was youth 512 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:08,120 or good looks or adolescent projection on his part, but she..." 513 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:15,840 Keep going. 514 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,680 "...she walked like fairy dust, 515 00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,120 as though brightening every corner of the school." 516 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,040 Well, I don't know about you, 517 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,360 but I'm feeling every inch of this book. 518 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,680 - It's honestly fine. - Ruben? 519 00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:10,760 What the hell? I thought you were going to Aberdeen today. 520 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:15,880 Yeah, I'm going in a minute. I just came round to drop these off. 521 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:18,120 Say congratulations. 522 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:24,520 Sit. 523 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:38,560 Look, I... 524 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:42,160 I wouldn't be a man if I didn't come round and say 525 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:44,080 I'm happy for you. 526 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:52,080 You know, Ava, you're going to be a great mum. 527 00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,360 And, Niall, you're going to be a dad. 528 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:04,840 But I'm also coming round... 529 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,480 to say that I'm calling in my debts. 530 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:18,240 Ruben, don't do this. 531 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,320 - What debts? - Niall owes me 30K. 532 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,079 What? I thought you paid that. 533 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,439 - Why are you doing this, Ruben? - Because once you have a kid, 534 00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,200 you'll never have the money to pay me back. 535 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,640 Niall, what's going on here? 536 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,000 Is this because Ava's pregnant? 537 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,999 What makes you say that, brother? I'm happy for you. 538 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,120 No, it's just I know you've been trying really hard. 539 00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:53,120 She told you? 540 00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:01,000 She fucking told you? 541 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,599 - She fucking told you! - Ruben, wait, wait! 542 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,799 She fucking told you! I'll fucking kill her! 543 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:11,200 - I'll fucking kill her! - Oh my God, Niall. Are you okay? 544 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,399 - I need to go after him. - No, no, you don't. 545 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,639 - Niall, you might be concussed. - No, I have to. 546 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:17,839 - No. - I have to go. 547 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:18,919 - Niall, no. - Ava! 548 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,079 - No! - Let me go. 549 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:21,160 Niall! 550 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:28,680 Oh, shit! 551 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,279 - Get your fucking shit... - Ruben. Ruben, stop. Wait! 552 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,399 - ...out my fucking house! - Wait, we can talk about this, Ruben. 553 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,519 I can't believe you. 554 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,199 - I fucking can't believe you. - Ruben, please! 555 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,999 - Fucking telling him my shit. - Please! Why are you doing this? 556 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,519 I told you, didn't I? I fucking told you. 557 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,359 - Let's talk about this. - What the hell's going on? 558 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,159 This is what you get. It's her! 559 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,319 - Telling my shit to people! - Ruben, stop. 560 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:48,719 Shouting her mouth off at people! 561 00:36:48,720 --> 00:36:51,079 Ruben, stop before someone calls the police. Stop it. 562 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:52,559 - That's not yours to give away! - Stop it! 563 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,879 Do you understand? I fucking told you! 564 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,279 Is there a problem here? 565 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,159 - Shut the fuck up! - Ruben, stop. 566 00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:59,519 - Shut the fuck up! - Ruben, stop! 567 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,639 - You fat cunt! You want some, yeah? - Look! 568 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,599 - You fat fucking cunt! Walk away! - Ruben, look at me! 569 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:04,919 - Look at me! - Walk away! 570 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,839 - Look at me! Stop it! - Yeah, what you looking at? 571 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:09,319 - Stop it! Hey, look at me! - Yeah, you fucking walk away! 572 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:12,360 You're gonna lose everything if you don't fuck off right now! 573 00:37:13,240 --> 00:37:15,599 Look at what you've built! Look at what you've got! 574 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,879 If they call the police, you're gonna lose it all 575 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,760 and you're gonna end up back in prison! 576 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:38,759 - Ruben, I'm sorry. - Don't even go there. 577 00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:40,480 - I'm so-- - Don't even fucking go there. 578 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:05,880 Fuck! 579 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,000 What did you say to him? 580 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,919 I'm so sorry, Mona. He forced it out of me. 581 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:14,199 Are you okay? 582 00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:15,639 - Are you all right? - Look what he's done. 583 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:17,439 I know. I know. I didn't know he'd do this. 584 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,039 Why don't we get you back inside, all right? 585 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,920 - Yeah. - And I'll fix this. Okay. Come on. 586 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,800 Let's go. Let's go. We'll get everything cleaned up. 587 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:54,440 Hey. 588 00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:56,440 Hey, what's wrong? 589 00:38:58,240 --> 00:39:00,800 Fuck. It's my life. 590 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:06,840 I know I should leave him, 591 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:08,960 but I just... 592 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:12,480 love him so much. 593 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:16,720 I know he can't help it. 594 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,200 But it's killing me. 595 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:26,640 Look, I feel like I'm betraying him here by saying this, but... 596 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:29,720 you deserve better. 597 00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:33,160 I love Ruben. 598 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:35,560 But he's lost his mind. 599 00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:38,720 He's away with the fairies now. 600 00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:42,920 In fact, even the fairies have had enough of him. 601 00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:53,840 No. 602 00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:24,640 Jesus Christ! 603 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,200 Are you okay? 604 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:29,320 I'm sorry. 605 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:31,880 I'm sorry. 606 00:41:32,720 --> 00:41:34,719 Don't apologize. Just tell me what the hell is going on. 607 00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:37,800 No, I am. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. 608 00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,039 What happened with the money, Niall? 609 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:42,840 - I can't say. - Yes, you can. 610 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:47,160 That was my dad's money. I need to know what you spent it on. 611 00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:54,479 Niall? 612 00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:57,480 - What did you spend it on? - I did these courses. 613 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:00,080 I did these... 614 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,080 straightening-me-out type courses. 615 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:07,320 What? 616 00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:11,480 That's not okay, Niall. 617 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:18,960 What did they do? 618 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:32,440 I drank stuff. 619 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,360 Looked at images. Threw up a bit. 620 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,160 - What, and you spent 30K on this? - No. 621 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,720 No, he asked for direct debit and then he emptied my account. 622 00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:48,600 Oh, Jesus. 623 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,040 Oh, Niall. 624 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,279 Why can't you just be happy with that side of yourself? 625 00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,999 It's the 21st century. Nobody cares anymore. 626 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,760 It doesn't make me feel any better. 627 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:05,639 I mean, the fact that the world is progressing 628 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,320 only adds to the problem, because not only am I ashamed... 629 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,679 - bloody irrational too. - I get that. 630 00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:15,559 But when you told me, I said it didn't matter. 631 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:18,399 As long as it didn't interfere with our relationship. 632 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:21,400 Besides, everyone who matters knows. 633 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,960 Your mum knows. I know. 634 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,840 Christ, from what I understand, every truck driver in Glasgow knows. 635 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,600 - I don't see why it's a problem. - Because I don't know! 636 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:41,680 Look, you need to get some help. 637 00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:44,600 Some proper help. 638 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:47,279 Because I don't have it in me 639 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,360 to fix someone who won't show me their parts. 640 00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:51,840 I will. 641 00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,440 I don't know where to start. 642 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,520 Start with the biggest thing 643 00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:06,560 and work back from there. 644 00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:27,839 Mona, look, I just wanted to pop round and see how you were, really. 645 00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,360 Yeah, fine, I suppose. 646 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:32,720 It was a... 647 00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:35,840 a moment of madness, but... 648 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,840 I don't think we should get worked up over it or punish ourselves. 649 00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:42,640 Yeah, I agree. 650 00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,120 So, are you feeling, like, okay about it? 651 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:01,879 I don't know how to feel, if I'm honest. 652 00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,560 I haven't allowed any emotion in. I'm good that way. 653 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,760 Yeah, but this is pretty big, Mona. 654 00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:09,560 You slept with his brother, 655 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,320 on his kitchen floor, the floor he tiled. 656 00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:16,560 Yeah, I know. I was there, Niall. 657 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,320 Sorry, Mona. Is everything all right? 658 00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,719 You're being a bit cold. 659 00:45:24,720 --> 00:45:27,159 I'm just compartmentalizing. 660 00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:29,239 - It's how I cope. - Yeah, I get that. 661 00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:31,919 - But with his brother, Mona? - Oh, please! 662 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:35,239 Are you really trying to get me to realize my guilt here, Niall? 663 00:45:35,240 --> 00:45:37,480 - You are the brother! - Yeah, no, I know that. I just... 664 00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:45,000 Look, can you not do that, please? Jesus, Mona. 665 00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:48,760 Why are you being so chill about this? 666 00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:55,800 If you must know... 667 00:45:57,880 --> 00:45:59,400 I've been here before. 668 00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:04,640 What, on Ruben? 669 00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,720 This is the first time I've had sex behind his back. 670 00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,520 Wait, are we talking about Benji here? 671 00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,280 That twat with the mustache? 672 00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:19,759 It doesn't matter who it was. 673 00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,600 Oh my God, it is him, isn't it? 674 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,519 So, all of Ruben's suspicion around this, it's justified. 675 00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:26,840 It's not justified, Niall. 676 00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,039 There's no excuse to treat me the way he has, 677 00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,279 - regardless of what I've done. - You've fucking driven him insane! 678 00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:32,719 - He pushed me there! - Oh, really? 679 00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:34,440 Did he push your hand on his cock as well? 680 00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,120 Do you know what, Niall? 681 00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:51,200 I don't think this has anything to do with Ruben or anything like that. 682 00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:53,639 This is to do with the fact 683 00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:56,120 you've realized you're not as special as you thought you were. 684 00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,919 Now, nip out, will you? I need to get my glam on. 685 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,440 We can talk about this another time. 686 00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:15,400 Newborns get very cold. 687 00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,999 So, the first thing to do is minimize the amount of time 688 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:22,080 that they're undressed, but the best thing to do is... 689 00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:27,880 Oh, mayday, mayday. We have a fully clothed baby drowning. 690 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:32,039 Niall Kennedy. You have the right to remain silent. 691 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:34,760 - Anything you do say-- - Oh, why don't you fuck off? 692 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,280 Okay, so the best thing to do... 693 00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,079 - What was that? - He's a prick. 694 00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:55,879 - Go back and apologize. - No chance. 695 00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:57,719 He should be apologizing to me. I pay the man. 696 00:47:57,720 --> 00:47:59,719 He has no right to talk to me the way he does. 697 00:47:59,720 --> 00:48:02,719 Well, I pay you, so I can talk to you the way I want then. 698 00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:05,719 You're a disgrace, Niall Kennedy, a child in man's clothing. 699 00:48:05,720 --> 00:48:08,520 - Yeah, yeah, you can shout at me tomorrow. - I'm shouting at you now! 700 00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,079 I'm staying at my sister's 701 00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,519 so you can bloody think about what you've done here. 702 00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:18,279 Because you don't get to steal my money and fuck up these classes as well. 703 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,760 And trust me, if you do it again, your visits will be supervised! 704 00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:29,760 Last fucking chance. 705 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,320 Yo, it's Ruben. Leave a message. 706 00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,360 Yo, it's Ruben. Leave a message. 707 00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,240 Yo, it's Ruben. Leave a message. 708 00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:57,519 Ruben, it's Niall. 709 00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:02,999 I know that you're offshore right now, but I found out some information on Benji, 710 00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:04,080 and... 711 00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,080 Look, I tell you what, I'm coming to Aberdeen. 712 00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:13,519 Hi. Yeah, hi. 713 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:16,639 I'm wondering if I could speak to Ruben Pallister. 714 00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:19,120 I'm his brother, and I... I... 715 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,040 I really need to get in touch with him somehow. 716 00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:24,280 - Ruben Pallister? - Yeah. 717 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,120 Never heard of him. 718 00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,559 Oh, yeah, he's a rigger here. 719 00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:34,119 But he comes in here for payroll stuff every now and again, I don't know. 720 00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,480 But, I mean, he... I mean, he definitely works here. 721 00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:41,640 Here, Bill. Do you... Do you know a Ruben Pallister? 722 00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:47,959 - Oh, Pallie. Is that who you mean? - Aye, yeah. 723 00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:50,720 Yeah, I remember him. He got let go of ages ago. 724 00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:52,600 Wait, what? 725 00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:56,960 No, no, no, that-- But that can't be, 'cause, I mean, he's... 726 00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,080 No, I mean, he's offshore right now, no? 727 00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:02,520 I can check for you. 728 00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:11,400 No, no Ruben Pallister here. 729 00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:15,120 Right. 730 00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,600 Well, do you know where I might be able to find him? 731 00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:23,999 I mean, I think he's staying with an old colleague here. 732 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,920 - A guy called Roy. - Okay. 733 00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:28,080 Well... 734 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,280 Do you have his address? 735 00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:09,560 Ruben! 736 00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:14,680 Ruben! Ruben, wait! 737 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:30,000 There you go. 738 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:40,080 Talk to me. 739 00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:43,960 They're telling me you've been sacked. 740 00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:46,680 Well, if that's what they're saying. 741 00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:50,800 How long ago was this? 742 00:51:51,720 --> 00:51:52,840 About a year ago. 743 00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:55,680 A year? 744 00:51:57,440 --> 00:51:58,960 But you're up here all the time. 745 00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:03,920 Yeah, well, I had to keep up the pretense while I figured out what to do. 746 00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:06,480 It's why my phone's been off as well. 747 00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:08,680 Jesus, Ruben. 748 00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:12,080 What happened? 749 00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,519 Nothing. It was HR bullshit. 750 00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:19,200 My fucking supervisor was pressing me and I lashed out. It wasn't even that bad. 751 00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:21,359 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 752 00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:24,600 Just put him up against the wall, threatened to kill his family. 753 00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:29,320 I was gone within a week. 754 00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:33,640 I don't understand. A year ago, you were lending me money. 755 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:38,520 Yeah, well, I maxed out a ton of credit cards keeping it up. 756 00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:40,120 What? 757 00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:44,560 - And you did that for me? - I did that for everyone. 758 00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:49,680 Why? 759 00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:55,640 Because I liked it. 760 00:52:57,920 --> 00:52:59,520 I like being the provider. 761 00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:03,160 I knew my place in the world. 762 00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,880 So, that's why you've been asking for it all back? 763 00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:14,039 You can't keep doing this though. 764 00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:15,919 - You need to declare bankruptcy. - Nah, fuck that. 765 00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,279 Men don't declare bankruptcy. Don't be ridiculous. 766 00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:20,120 I just need to find a new job. 767 00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:22,240 But it's hard. 768 00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,360 Prison sentence and all that. 769 00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:32,280 I mean, come on. 770 00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:35,360 What kind of man would I be 771 00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:39,559 if on top of not being able to give her kids, 772 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:41,480 I couldn't pay the mortgage as well? 773 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,080 And you know the worst part about all this? 774 00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:51,120 You were totally right. 775 00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:55,840 You said back in that hospital that I'd fuck it up. 776 00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:57,960 And I did. 777 00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:01,480 So, you can have your popcorn, Niall. 778 00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:03,640 I hope it tastes sweet. 779 00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:08,720 Well, it doesn't, Ruben. I can assure you that. 780 00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:17,040 She can't find out, son. 781 00:54:22,240 --> 00:54:23,440 She can't find out. 782 00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:25,799 But, Ruben, you surely can't do this forever. 783 00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:29,119 She's not worth this. She's not worth a lifetime of debt. 784 00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:30,320 She is, mate. 785 00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:35,119 She's worth that and more and everything in between. 786 00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:36,200 Listen to me. 787 00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:40,560 All right? I'm begging you. 788 00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:44,800 Don't say a word. Not to her, not to anyone. 789 00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:48,320 Look, please, brother. 790 00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:52,480 Do this for me. 791 00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:22,480 You won't tell anyone, will you? 792 00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:26,240 No. 793 00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:28,440 Of course. 794 00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:34,320 For all that we've been through, 795 00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:38,040 I still trust you more than anyone. 796 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:11,000 Hi, honey. 797 00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:15,400 Come in. 798 00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:32,760 What's your excuse this time? 799 00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:47,320 I was with a male prostitute. 800 00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:01,400 Any good? 801 00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:05,160 No. 802 00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:08,040 Not really. 803 00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:12,920 Couldn't relax. 804 00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:18,960 Did you cum? 805 00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:23,280 Yeah, but I... 806 00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:26,120 you know... 807 00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:29,680 wasn't relaxed. 808 00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:37,080 I can't even. 809 00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:25,240 What is it? 810 00:59:35,120 --> 00:59:36,320 Can we sit down? 811 00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:39,640 - I need to talk to you about something. - It's late. 812 00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:44,600 Let's go in here. 813 01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:11,920 You know something. 814 01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,640 - What do you mean? - You know something. 815 01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:19,440 I turned on my phone. 816 01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:23,000 Got your voicemail. 817 01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:27,720 Something happened when I was gone. 818 01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:30,160 Something to do with Benji. 819 01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:34,720 Oh, no. I... 820 01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:37,680 got the wrong end of the stick. 821 01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:45,240 You know I have other means of getting it out of you. 822 01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:50,640 It's in your head. 823 01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:54,200 I swear. 824 01:00:57,200 --> 01:00:58,320 No. 825 01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:00,680 Someone's changed her. 826 01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:05,800 I can feel it in the space between us. 827 01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:08,280 She's off somehow. 828 01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:14,520 There's no proof, Ruben. 829 01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:18,560 I went back home before I came here. 830 01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:26,240 I found my dressing gown 831 01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:29,400 on the floor in my office. 832 01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:32,680 It smelled of someone else. 833 01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:35,960 I couldn't place it. 834 01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:52,799 Well, I don't know the extent of it. 835 01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:55,599 - Motherfucker! - Wait, I didn't say anything! 836 01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:57,279 Ruben, you didn't let me finish! 837 01:01:57,280 --> 01:01:58,679 - I didn't need to! - Wait. 838 01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:01,640 - Fucking hell! - Ruben! Ruben, wait! 839 01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:09,679 The address! I need the fucking address! 840 01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:11,679 - Wait, what? Which address? - Well, for fucking Benji! 841 01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,879 - Ruben's on his way there now! - Oh my God! Oh my God! 842 01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:16,559 - Okay, it's Blanchard Street, 16. - Okay. 843 01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:17,680 Okay. Fuck!