1
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,799
- What are you doing?
- Changing.
2
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,480
- Changing for what?
- Just changing.
3
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,240
Why have you brought wraps?
4
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,479
Look, if you're not gonna speak, Ruben,
I'm not gonna stick around much longer.
5
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,120
You love me, don't you?
6
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:26,600
What?
7
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,480
You love me?
8
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,440
- Where is this going?
- Just answer the question.
9
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,559
Well, of course I do. You're my--
10
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:38,719
No.
11
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,160
No caveats. Stick with the emotion.
12
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,719
- Where do you feel it?
- Hmm?
13
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:47,720
Your love for me.
14
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:49,839
Where do you feel it?
15
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:50,959
Is it here?
16
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,799
Listen, Ruben, I am not sure
what this is all about.
17
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:53,920
Just answer the question.
18
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,879
I suppose love is most felt
in the heart, right?
19
00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,920
No, fuck that fucking mug response.
20
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:01,640
Answer as you.
21
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,360
I want to know
where Niall Kennedy feels it.
22
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,759
- I feel it everywhere.
- Everywhere?
23
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,560
Yeah, it sort of runs through me in a way.
24
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,919
- Describe it.
- I can't! I can't describe it!
25
00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,360
Yes, you fucking can!
26
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,879
Mr. fucking Poet Laureate,
or whatever the fuck it is you've won,
27
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,720
your job is putting shit into words.
28
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,680
So come on. Spell it out for me.
29
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:25,240
Clearly.
30
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,440
In a way I can understand.
31
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,120
It's like...
32
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,640
- dangerous.
- Oh, yeah?
33
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:37,840
It is the best
34
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,080
and the worst thing all at once.
35
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:43,760
It's like the only thing.
36
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:45,760
It's the only thing I've ever felt.
37
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:49,720
It's like I'm fucking...
38
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,320
high off of you or something.
39
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,320
Chemically dependent. I don't know.
40
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:30,200
So how long did you wait?
41
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,360
- In terms of?
- Before you swooped in.
42
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,640
Before you took what's mine.
43
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,240
I'm not speaking about this.
44
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,080
Fuck.
45
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:02,960
- You ready?
- Yeah, sorry. Just coming.
46
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,200
Okay.
47
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:15,199
Who has the first question? Yes, madam.
48
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,679
Niall, your book has been heralded
as a modern masterpiece.
49
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,479
Can you speak to the room
about how you managed
50
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,799
to paint such an accurate portrait
of male violence?
51
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,919
A good novelist never reveals his sources.
52
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,160
Reveal your sources, then!
53
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,000
Sorry, no can do...
54
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,160
compadre.
55
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,519
But the book is clearly based
on your brother,
56
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:43,559
who's been involved in two high-profile
serious assault cases in this country,
57
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,519
the last of which almost cost
Benjamin Thompson his life.
58
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,999
No, my book had nothing to do
with any of that.
59
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,639
My brother informed
some of the research, yes,
60
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,039
but it's important to remember
that this is a work of fiction.
61
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,240
It's not a biography.
62
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,719
It would have been very easy
for me to write a biography.
63
00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,359
Yes, but your book follows
a violent central character called Cosmo,
64
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,119
who, despite everything he does,
65
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,319
is portrayed as a victim
of emotions he cannot control.
66
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,799
Were you trying to defend
his actions in some way?
67
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,039
Not in the slightest.
68
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:12,080
Let's bring the microphone
to the next person, please.
69
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,320
Ease up a bit, yeah? You’re stiff as fuck.
70
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,319
Yep, go ahead.
71
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,759
Following on from the last question,
72
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,719
you appear to be a little defensive
today in your answers.
73
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:29,080
But to me, your brother's conviction
was so in the public domain.
74
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,399
Surely you could see
that parallels would be drawn.
75
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,039
Yes, but what about the dialogue?
76
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,039
The characters,
the portrait of mental health?
77
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,639
- I mean, those didn't come from him.
- My apologies.
78
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,959
We're just interested in getting
to know the man behind the story.
79
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,399
Well, that's me.
I'm the man behind the story.
80
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,279
- I understand that, but--
- Look, I'm sorry,
81
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,200
but does anyone here
have any questions about me?
82
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:52,400
Seriously?
83
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,520
Call yourselves journalists?
84
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,319
So for the remaining 20 minutes,
85
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,999
we will only be taking questions
which relate to the author
86
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,320
and the writing process behind this novel.
87
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,760
So does anyone have any questions...
88
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,560
on that?
89
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,639
Oh, mate, mate. This is hilarious.
90
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,680
Oh, man. Oh, mate.
91
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,799
Mate, what were you thinking?
92
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,999
Fucking hell. Hey, check this bit out.
93
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,359
"When all questions
were directed at the author,
94
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,039
the room fell silent."
95
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,360
"One reporter, eventually,
shoved up his hand,
96
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,960
but he only did to ask
where the bathroom was."
97
00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:45,040
That is good. That is good.
98
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:47,719
I think I might go.
99
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,839
Oh, look, don't do that,
you surly little bitch.
100
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,840
Come on. I'm in prison.
101
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,840
I need to take what I can
to cheer myself up.
102
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,079
- You shouldn't enjoy it so much.
- Oh, fuck off.
103
00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,440
- Why do you care anyway, you penis?
- 'Cause...
104
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,439
- they only ask about you.
- Oh, come on, Bambers.
105
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:06,159
I'm the main character
in this relationship.
106
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,559
When are you gonna realize that?
107
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,159
At best, you're my sidekick.
108
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,040
At worst, you're the guy
that brings me my lunch.
109
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,239
Look, I get it.
110
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:20,199
I cast a big shadow,
even within four walls.
111
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,520
But, hey, if you can't handle
the questions,
112
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,359
why'd you base the book
on me in the first place?
113
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,440
Because I felt...
114
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:30,640
I don't know...
115
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:33,080
something.
116
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:34,960
Guilty?
117
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:41,840
Why would you say that?
118
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,440
You know, for the Mona thing.
119
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:48,600
I'm sorry?
120
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,319
Not keeping an eye on her properly.
121
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,039
Letting that Benji fucker swoop in.
122
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,440
Oh, yeah. No.
123
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:55,960
No, I mean...
124
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,200
Obviously, I couldn't watch her
all the time.
125
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,040
She still denies it, you know.
126
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,119
That she slept with him.
127
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:05,639
Since when?
128
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,080
Since, I don't know,
like a week ago, maybe.
129
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,599
She visited?
130
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:13,639
Yeah. First time in, like, three years.
131
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,239
Brought little Baird with her, too.
132
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,559
- Fucking love that little guy.
- She brought Baird with her?
133
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,200
Yeah. Miracle child.
134
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,559
Three years old now. It's crazy.
135
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,439
Can you believe it? Us. Fathers.
136
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,919
I know you don't get to see yours often,
but check us out, eh?
137
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,800
Two strapping fucking dads.
138
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,359
I don't understand. I thought
there were rules in place.
139
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,159
- I thought you couldn't see him.
- I couldn't.
140
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,960
But she's changed her mind
and all that now.
141
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:38,640
I tell you,
142
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,039
it's the greatest motivation
for keeping my nose clean in here,
143
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,319
getting out before he's old enough
to realize where I am.
144
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,639
But this is so out of the blue, Ruben.
I mean, why did she visit?
145
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,039
I thought she was
with someone else now.
146
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,559
She was, but it's over.
147
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,359
Why? Why is it over?
148
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,200
She was calling out my name during sex.
149
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,400
I don't know that for facts.
I just assume that's what happened.
150
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:01,799
But, like, I mean, did she say
what she was after?
151
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,119
No.
152
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,839
But something was bothering her.
153
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,200
I couldn't really say what it was about.
154
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,519
You didn't get it out of her?
155
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:09,600
No.
156
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,400
But I will.
157
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,480
I will.
158
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,760
It's been four years, Mona.
159
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,919
I don't understand. Why now?
160
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,679
I'm fucking lonely, okay?
161
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,839
Little Baird's at playgroup all day,
and Luke's leaving me,
162
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,399
and I fucking miss him, you know?
163
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,599
Well, get him back, then.
164
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,119
- Fucking Ruben. It's Ruben I miss.
- No, no, no.
165
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,879
We're not going back over this again.
166
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,480
It's broken. Move on.
167
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,959
You can't build a relationship
on what we've done.
168
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,639
Those kinds of secrets,
they'll destroy you from the inside out.
169
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:53,760
They won't if I tell him.
170
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,159
If I wipe the slate clean.
171
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,759
Mona, he'll kill us.
172
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,280
- He'll kill you.
- Oh, and then what?
173
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,919
You'll have a relationship
between plastic prison dividers
174
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,279
for the rest of your life.
You're not thinking straight.
175
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,079
Here, put this down.
176
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,600
Get away from me, you pig!
177
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,319
Mona, come on now.
178
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,199
You're not thinking rationally here.
179
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,119
I mean, what happened
to compartmentalizing?
180
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:19,439
- You used to be so good at that.
- It all catches up with you in the end.
181
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,599
Compartmentalizing is just
taking something from your mind
182
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:22,799
and putting it on your soul.
183
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,519
Come on, Mona, that's ridiculous.
You're only thinking about yourself.
184
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,959
No, I'm not.
This is about little Baird, too.
185
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,279
He is getting to that age now,
186
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,599
and he's going to need
a masculine role model in his life.
187
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,959
Well, I can be that for him.
188
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,440
Didn't you hear what I just said?
189
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,599
The truth is Ruben wants
to be a part of his life,
190
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,000
and I've agreed to all that now.
191
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:42,919
And I'll be damned if I'm staring on
192
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,080
while the poor bastard raises the kid
thinking he's his.
193
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,959
The kid is his.
194
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,160
No, he's not. He's yours.
195
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,120
Don't say it. Don't even utter it.
196
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,519
You'll reinforce it in your head,
197
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,439
and it'll come out
your stupid mouth one day
198
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,280
when you're steaming fucking drunk.
199
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,960
How did I burn it all down for you, eh?
200
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,400
A nasty little ogre of a man.
201
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,440
Pull yourself together, okay?
202
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:14,200
Get Luke back, ditch the sauce,
and be an example to your kid.
203
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,720
Don't make me come around here again.
204
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:08,760
There she is.
205
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,359
- Hello, darling.
- Hey, Butch.
206
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:13,959
I haven't seen you in a while.
207
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,560
No, no, I've been working a lot.
208
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:17,960
Can't be doing that now.
209
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,439
You bring any naughty substances?
210
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,480
No, not tonight.
211
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,320
Thinking of having a chilled one.
212
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,520
In here?
213
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:31,920
Impossible.
214
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,200
We'll see how long you last.
215
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,440
Hey, Butch? Wait up.
216
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,200
Oh, shit.
217
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:04,999
Where have you been?
218
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,520
I'm so sorry. I came as soon as I could.
219
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,800
I can't...
220
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,200
- So is she...?
- Almost.
221
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:10,680
I'm so sorry, Mum.
222
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,280
She was a nightmare towards the end.
223
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,040
Nice to have you both
share an ambulance, though.
224
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,240
My contribution to a stretched NHS.
225
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,160
So what happens now?
226
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,639
Well, we'll get the death certificate.
227
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,079
Then the funeral home will come
and take her away
228
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,720
and pump her full of preservative.
229
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,600
I imagine it's like basting a chicken.
230
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,080
- Have you told Ruben?
- No.
231
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,000
I've decided you're going to.
232
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,759
Oh, and don't even think
about skipping the funeral.
233
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:54,520
It's likely the prison will let him out,
and you have to be there for him, okay?
234
00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:00,240
And for God's sake,
go get yourself checked out.
235
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,400
You've probably got some awful virus
from those places you've been going.
236
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:06,920
Yes, ma'am.
237
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,080
This way, please, Mr. Kennedy.
238
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,159
Here. Thank you.
239
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:32,079
I'm sorry, that guy
in the room, across the hall.
240
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,279
Is he called Albert?
241
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,519
Yeah. That's right. How come?
242
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:36,600
It's just...
243
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:38,840
I knew him once.
244
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,120
We lived together at university.
245
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,399
Wow. Small world.
246
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,680
Yes. Yeah.
247
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,480
Please, sit.
248
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,920
- ...the exit?
- It’s just down the corridor to the left.
249
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,119
Thanks.
250
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:12,080
How you doing, mate?
This guy says he knows you.
251
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,560
- When was he here?
- He just left.
252
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,360
Niall!
253
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:23,440
Niall!
254
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,240
Alby!
255
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,800
- What a surprise.
- I know you saw me.
256
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,080
What are you doing working here?
257
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,759
I thought you studied philosophy.
258
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:43,880
I did.
259
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,240
I went back to uni
to make up for lost time.
260
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,000
Nursing was actually
my fourth degree in the end.
261
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,520
Turns out I have wanderlust.
262
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,800
You look...
263
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,160
good.
264
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,679
Well, it's a couple
of facial reconstructions
265
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,080
since the last time you saw me.
266
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,239
Unfortunately, I'm still a bit
more Picasso than Da Vinci
267
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,680
for my liking, but it's getting there.
268
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,000
I heard about the book, though.
That's exciting.
269
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,239
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
270
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,200
The details on your clipboard, less so.
271
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,919
Oh, isn't that confidential?
272
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,160
Took a little peek. Sorry.
273
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:25,560
Ladies.
274
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,360
Really, Niall? Ladies?
275
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,319
Oh, fuck it! I lied. I'm sorry. I just...
I felt vulnerable, I suppose.
276
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:34,400
You never change, do you?
277
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,280
I know. It's tragic.
278
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:41,320
Well, the good thing is, we can help.
279
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,000
We...
280
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:49,600
We also offer support for those
who partake in chemsex parties.
281
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:51,600
If you're interested.
282
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,999
And what makes you think I need that?
283
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,239
I can tell.
284
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,320
After all, I've been there myself.
285
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:02,360
It is quite the hole to get out of,
take it from me.
286
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,920
It is good to see you, old friend.
287
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:00,840
There he is, Edgar Allan Poe-faced cunt.
288
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,200
Fuck me, man.
289
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,480
You should have been here last night.
The heat was unreal.
290
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,439
The one day a year where
the sun graces us with her presence
291
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,799
and she decides to hotbox our cell.
292
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,239
Honestly, man, it was fucking sweltering.
293
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,639
I went for a shit
and my testicles ended up
294
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,279
about a half inch beneath the water.
295
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,640
Ruben, Maura died.
296
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,680
Was it quick?
297
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,480
- Was what quick?
- Her death.
298
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,839
Well, no.
299
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,559
She was diagnosed, like, 20 years ago.
300
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,999
Yeah, but, like, she went peacefully?
301
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,000
Peacefully. Yeah.
302
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,719
Obviously, factor in the last few years
of considerable decline.
303
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,360
- Just say yes.
- Yes.
304
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:11,160
Were you, like,
with her when she passed?
305
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:13,560
No.
306
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,639
I was in the waiting room.
307
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,839
I felt a little sick looking at her
back at the house, so I kept away.
308
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,840
You didn't spew, did you?
You always fucking spew.
309
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,399
Well, yeah, I might have, actually.
310
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,199
You didn't spew on her, did you?
311
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,400
- Well, I...
- You spewed on my dying mother?
312
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,360
I suppose when you put it like that.
313
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,000
This is not how I expected this to go.
314
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,560
That fucking cunt.
315
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,040
- Who?
- Benji.
316
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:56,679
He took these years from me.
317
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,519
No, Ruben, you can't go there.
318
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,599
You've been learning to let go
of your anger, have you not?
319
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,279
- Yeah, but now it's back.
- No, no, no.
320
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,199
Process it like they taught you.
This is just grief,
321
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,439
and you're shouldering it onto
the nearest emotion that you know.
322
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,639
Fuck that!
Don't you psychoanalyze me, pup!
323
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,479
You don't know a damn thing
about my emotions.
324
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,079
Well, I do a bit. I mean,
my dad died too, remember?
325
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,840
Oh, fuck off! At least you got
the chance to say goodbye.
326
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,319
Imagine not being there
for him on his deathbed
327
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,720
because some cunt took it from you.
328
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,879
- No, that'd be horrible.
- Yeah, exactly!
329
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,639
So you think about that
before you start talking
330
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:27,840
about my damn emotions!
331
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,120
And you tell that Benji cunt,
wherever he is,
332
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,520
that when I get out of here,
I'm gonna find him.
333
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,240
And I'm gonna finish what I should've done
the first time around.
334
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,079
I'm not gonna do that, Ruben.
335
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,519
You're fucking doing it, yeah?
336
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,599
You’re fucking doing it,
Niall Kennedy, yeah!
337
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:43,759
Say it! Yeah?
338
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,719
I've got your fucking balls!
Don't you fucking forget it!
339
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,599
You're fucking doing this!
Yeah? You hear me?
340
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,039
You don't fucking say no to me,
you little cunt!
341
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,599
You're fucking doing this, yeah? Yeah!
342
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,519
You little fucking prick!
You fucking little prick!
343
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:58,759
You're doing this!
344
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,799
You fucking don't say no to me!
345
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,439
You cunt!
346
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,480
You're fucking doing this!
347
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,200
Niall Kennedy?
348
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:22,680
This way, please.
349
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,640
Oh, sorry. I didn't know
you were taking this one.
350
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:36,519
I thought that my presence here
might make it easier
351
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,480
for you to be honest
about what you've been doing.
352
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,080
Fill this out.
353
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,640
Wow, you've had half of Glasgow.
354
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,480
Right. Okay.
355
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,119
Would you like the bad news
or the good news?
356
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:22,800
- Bad news.
- Classic.
357
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:28,120
So the bad news is
you have syphilis and chlamydia.
358
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,600
But the good news is it's curable.
359
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:36,159
We'll put you on antibiotics.
It'll clear up in three to six weeks.
360
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,160
Easy money.
361
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,000
Thank you.
362
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,240
Anything else I can help you with?
363
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:49,760
Yeah.
364
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,120
What time do you finish?
365
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:58,480
In about ten minutes.
366
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,080
You don't...
367
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,880
fancy a drink, do you?
368
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,640
Well, with a sexual history
as extensive as this,
369
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,040
how can I say no?
370
00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:22,519
- So he just started screaming?
- Yeah, it was terrifying.
371
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,999
He said he was gonna kill the guy.
372
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,640
And did this Benji guy
actually sleep with his wife?
373
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,400
Yeah, I think so.
374
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,360
Wow, brave man.
375
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,200
And they have a kid together,
Ruben and this Mona girl?
376
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,560
Yeah.
377
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,920
You mean it could be Benji's?
378
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,280
Ruben always had difficulty conceiving.
379
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:49,599
Surely, he must suspect something, no?
380
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:50,840
I'm not sure.
381
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,239
I mean, even if he had the thought,
I don't think he pays it much attention.
382
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,720
He's wanted a kid for so long.
383
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,240
Tends to override any rational thinking.
384
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,080
Have you told him you're gay?
385
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:04,960
I'm bi.
386
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,760
- Have you told him you're bi?
- No.
387
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,759
- Have you told anyone you're bi?
- Not really.
388
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:11,880
Have you told yourself?
389
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,640
No.
390
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:21,320
Oh, Niall.
391
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,560
I had such hopes for you.
392
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:32,120
Have you even opened yourself up enough
to have feelings for a man?
393
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,120
Yeah, only once.
394
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:41,040
What was he like?
395
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:43,640
He was...
396
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:46,600
great.
397
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:51,600
Really quite amazing.
398
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,119
I'm talking about you by the way.
399
00:27:58,120 --> 00:27:59,280
I figured.
400
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:05,800
Look, you...
401
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:08,880
You don't...
402
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,000
fancy getting to know
one another again, do you?
403
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,960
I mean, you can think about it,
if you like.
404
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,680
I mean, you'd probably rather
slap me in my face, but...
405
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,880
I don't think I could live
with myself if I didn't--
406
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,040
How's Friday?
407
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,040
Sure.
408
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,080
I'll see you then.
409
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,079
And behave now!
410
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,600
I don't want to hear you've been
going back to any of those places.
411
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:51,760
One, please.
412
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,800
So are you into this guy, then?
413
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:06,680
Yeah, I think so.
414
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,480
Feels like he could be
something, you know?
415
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:13,520
That's great, babe.
416
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:15,760
I'm really happy for you.
417
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:23,880
Butch?
418
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:26,920
What's he about?
419
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,320
People watch, bubby.
420
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,839
You should know that by now.
421
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,599
Yeah, but he's not
touching himself or anything.
422
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,120
He's just watching.
423
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,960
Okay. Give me a sec.
424
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,200
Yeah. Yeah.
425
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:50,800
He's a freak.
426
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,599
- I mean, should I say something?
- What would you say?
427
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,359
I dunno.
"Why aren't you touching yourself?"
428
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,519
Leaves you open for criticism there, bubs.
429
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,880
Yeah, but I can't carry on like this
with him just staring.
430
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:04,960
He's not moving his face.
431
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,239
Just ignore it, bubby.
432
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,160
Drugs will kick in any moment
and you won't care about a thing.
433
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,120
No, I'm gonna say something.
434
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:18,920
Can I help you, mate?
435
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:20,880
Yeah.
436
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,400
Do I recognize you?
437
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:27,920
I fucking hope not.
438
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,599
Don't worry.
439
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,560
I'm the best lawyer in the game.
440
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,280
Just remember to blink for fuck's sake.
441
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:21,200
So, gents, this place
is actually a renowned sex club.
442
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,000
Can you explain your reasons
for being here?
443
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,960
It's a naturist spa, actually.
444
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,519
You know, if you turn up
in those types of uniforms,
445
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:32,880
people are gonna get confused.
446
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,160
Deep breath in and out, please.
447
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:50,520
Back in a moment.
448
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:53,480
You're not helping.
449
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,119
- Just go. I'll see you later.
- No way.
450
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:58,959
I'm not leaving you to die
in a homophobic institution
451
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,999
where they'll do God knows what to you.
452
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,279
This was a car crash, Butch, not a murder.
453
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:04,759
And Britain, not Chechnya.
454
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,200
Just go, before they arrest
the both of us.
455
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:09,560
Breath is clean.
456
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,559
But we'll have to do bloods, I'm afraid.
457
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,079
No, look, I veered wrong.
That's all it was.
458
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,599
Listen, I'm very sorry,
459
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,519
but we're going to have
to bring you into the station.
460
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,839
Before you do that,
461
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,680
I'll just have a quick word
with my client.
462
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,759
Don't worry, I'll get you down there.
Okay? And if you've got anything on you,
463
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,999
I suggest you tuck it
under the old ball sack.
464
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,240
They can't do a full-body search
for a crime this small.
465
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,399
I'll see you in a bit.
466
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:37,800
Wait, you're not driving, are you?
467
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:15,839
Oh, thank fuck.
468
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,119
I have a funeral today
and I'm miles from home.
469
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,199
Oh, yeah?
470
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,080
Yeah, it's my mum's friend,
but they're...
471
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:23,279
Well, they're very close.
472
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:24,640
Sounds like an excuse, kid.
473
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,680
Well, just charge me then!
474
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:28,720
I was high! Write it up!
475
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,960
Bloods came back positive
for meth and crack cocaine.
476
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,120
I didn't know about the second one.
477
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,880
Can you explain your decision
to drive whilst under the influence?
478
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:22,279
Look, my client might have been spiked,
479
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,279
so I suggest you charge him now,
480
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,559
and we will fight this to the very end.
481
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,200
Your client also admitted it
to a guard earlier.
482
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,920
Right. Did he?
483
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,120
You don't help yourself, do you?
484
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:40,559
Niall Brandon Kennedy,
485
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,760
you are hereby charged with driving
whilst under the influence of drugs.
486
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,799
- You're not obliged to say anything.
- Brandon?
487
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,879
But it may harm your defense
if you do not mention
488
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,319
when questioned something
which you later rely on in court.
489
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,559
You will be granted bail
subject to conditions,
490
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,520
which will be explained to you
in due course.
491
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:21,120
It is never easy to say goodbye.
492
00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:27,200
But we take comfort in knowing
that while her earthly journey has ended,
493
00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:34,520
her soul has found comfort
in the arms of our merciful God.
494
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,159
Maura was a proud woman,
495
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:41,279
- not in vanity.
- Excuse me. Sorry, guys.
496
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,880
- Or boastfulness.
- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
497
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,679
She carried herself with dignity.
498
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:56,919
I'm sorry I'm late.
499
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:58,799
- And with a strength...
- You're a disgrace.
500
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,240
...that did not demand attention.
501
00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:06,480
She was a kind woman,
not just in words, but in deeds.
502
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:10,600
Whether it was a neighbor in need,
a friend in sorrow,
503
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,720
or a stranger
who simply crossed her path...
504
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:26,519
And now, her dearly
beloved son, Ruben Pallister,
505
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,240
would like to say a few words.
506
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,319
Thanks everyone for coming.
507
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:46,840
Can you hear me at the back?
508
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,080
You know, I've...
509
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:57,280
I've tried so hard to put into words
510
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:03,120
what my mum means to me,
and this is the best I can do.
511
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:06,800
One side of A4.
512
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,080
I'm not sure what I feel right now,
to be honest, though.
513
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,560
I feel a lot of guilt, a lot of anger,
514
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:18,400
a lot of remorse.
515
00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:22,400
The last thing I feel, in a way...
516
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:25,680
is grief.
517
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:32,520
You know, it's funny.
518
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:37,560
Even though I expected this day to come
every day for over ten years now,
519
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,520
nothing can quite prepare you for it.
520
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:43,160
Every time I get a call in prison...
521
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:46,160
you think it's her.
522
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:50,440
"Just joking. Still alive."
523
00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:53,680
Not that she joked very much.
524
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:02,920
You know, I sometimes think
death isn't so much about
525
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:05,719
missing the person,
526
00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:09,720
but missing the relationship
you could have had with them.
527
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,480
And we could have been special,
528
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,760
my mum and I, had I just...
529
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,000
focused a bit.
530
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:30,080
There was this window
in my life where I felt like,
531
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,160
for the first time ever,
things might be okay between us.
532
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:39,400
I passed this exam back at school, and...
533
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:43,880
she smiled this smile.
I don't know. It was like...
534
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,039
her eyes joined her mouth
for the first time.
535
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:54,759
Her face became whole in a way.
536
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:56,640
I don't... Sorry, I'm...
537
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,840
I'm going off-script a bit here.
538
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:03,680
I saw relief.
539
00:39:06,240 --> 00:39:07,480
I saw pride.
540
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:13,800
Well, I cheated that exam.
541
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,240
And when she found out, her face, like,
542
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,760
went back to how it was before.
543
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,959
Smiling with her mouth,
but not with her eyes,
544
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,360
only heavier now, and...
545
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,720
by the time she was visiting me
in prison every week, she was...
546
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:32,800
almost unrecognizable.
547
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,200
You see, I've made a lot
of mistakes in my life.
548
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:42,400
Seventeen years in prison.
549
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,160
A third of my life stuck in a fucking box.
550
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,640
When I could have been out there
spending time with my mother.
551
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:04,120
And I promised her,
552
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,520
when I got out the first time,
553
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,120
that I would never go back in again
554
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,320
as long as she was breathing.
555
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:15,640
Well, I broke that promise.
556
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:19,640
And soon, she wasn't breathing.
557
00:40:26,720 --> 00:40:27,840
So I'm sorry, Mum.
558
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:32,439
I'm sorry you've had to wait until now
559
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,960
to hear me accept
some sort of responsibility.
560
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,720
And I'm sorry for all the things
I put you through.
561
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:45,960
You know,
562
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:48,360
in a weird way,
563
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,240
I'm sort of glad the cancer
came back to take you...
564
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,680
because it saved me being
the cause of your death.
565
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,000
So be at rest now, Mum.
566
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,480
I'll see you in the next life...
567
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,840
where I'll do everything in my power...
568
00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:12,920
to make up for this one.
569
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:34,959
You okay?
570
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,240
Hey, little fella.
571
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,000
Angry? You're asking me if I'm angry?
572
00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:49,599
Don't know the meaning of the word angry.
573
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:50,760
I'm fucking furious.
574
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,439
I mean, let's bloody well break down
what you did this afternoon.
575
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:58,079
You arrive late, sweating
like a bloody pedophile,
576
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,439
and you spend most of your time
in the bathroom sniffing coke.
577
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:02,839
- I'm sorry, Mum.
- Why don't you just admit it?
578
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,319
You wanted to ruin this funeral
from the start.
579
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,439
- I didn't.
- Oh, come on.
580
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,040
You've always had a problem with her.
581
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:10,919
This is your way of getting her back.
582
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,719
No, it wasn't. I promise I was just...
583
00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:14,720
Okay? I'll be right back.
584
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,039
Sorry, Mum, will you
just excuse me a moment?
585
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,320
No, don't!
586
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,040
What are you doing?
587
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,080
I'm showing solidarity.
588
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,599
The best solidarity you can show
is staying the fuck away.
589
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:34,719
Oh, please.
590
00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:37,159
Only you could put your own
selfish needs before a funeral.
591
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:38,600
Look, I have told you, but--
592
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:44,560
Here.
593
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:47,520
Look, you have done your bit.
594
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,039
And that's lovely, but you need
to stay away from him now.
595
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,959
- Why do I?
- Because you're only gonna hurt him again.
596
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,799
Coming from you? All you do is hurt him.
597
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,319
That's not true! I've visited him
every week for four years now.
598
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,079
I didn't flounce off with some fancy man
599
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,279
and then come back because
I couldn't stand the loneliness.
600
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:02,000
- You are such a prick.
- No, I'm not.
601
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,039
I've done a damn sight more
than you in all this.
602
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:06,159
I've honored him in books.
603
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,999
I changed the entire narrative around
what he did to that poor bloke.
604
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,519
That makes up for one lousy rotten fuck.
605
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:12,960
- All of it.
- Four years.
606
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:14,719
That's what I told myself.
607
00:43:14,720 --> 00:43:16,919
If the guilt was still there,
after four years,
608
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:18,199
I was to do something about it.
609
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:19,720
Well, you know what you can do about it?
610
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:21,640
Kill yourself.
611
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:23,440
Because you'd be dead anyway.
612
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,119
Do you want to know
the one thing that stops me
613
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:31,440
from telling him most of all?
614
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:36,720
It's not fear of how he'll react
or how upset he'll be.
615
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,559
It's because I can never quite figure out
616
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,120
whether I want to tell him
just to fuck you.
617
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,560
Let him know what a traitorous
little worm you are.
618
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:51,840
Tell me what?
619
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:57,359
Oh, sorry, Ruben.
620
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:58,920
I thought you were
downstairs with Baird.
621
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:07,600
I mean, how long you been there for?
622
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,160
Long enough.
623
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:20,879
Where's your guard?
624
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,280
He's in my pocket, that's where.
625
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:26,159
Aren't you supposed to be
with him at all times?
626
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,160
Shut the fuck up.
627
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:40,320
Sounds like there's something
going on here that I should know about.
628
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,200
No, there's not.
629
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:48,000
Mona was just leaving, actually.
630
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:51,120
No, you're fucking not.
631
00:44:57,720 --> 00:44:59,040
Not until you explain.
632
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,799
Explain what?
633
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,440
The hushed whispers,
the fucking cupped conversation!
634
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:10,480
Because last I heard,
you weren't in touch.
635
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,840
Now you're arguing like
you shared a lifetime together.
636
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:17,600
So what is it?
637
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:25,840
What is it?
638
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,560
I'm gonna give you ten seconds...
639
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:45,200
to explain...
640
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:50,680
what could be so fucking important
641
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:54,160
that you'd take a time-out
of my mother's funeral
642
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,640
to come up here and chat away from me.
643
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:06,080
So what is it?
644
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:13,400
You motherfuckers.
645
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,319
I mean, we can do a countdown if you want.
646
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:23,119
- Ruben, listen.
- Five, four...
647
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:24,919
- No.
- Ruben, please, just... just listen.
648
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:26,359
- Three...
- Ruben, please, it's--
649
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:27,360
Ruben!
650
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,040
I-- I thought you were going for a piss.
651
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:36,760
I was.
652
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:39,280
I got caught up chatting.
653
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,000
Well, you can't be doing that, son.
654
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:44,400
I almost phoned you in. Come on.
655
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:48,759
This isn't over.
656
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,479
I know when you're fucking
hiding something, yeah?
657
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:51,559
Come on!
658
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,279
I know when you're fucking
lying to me, you rat.
659
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:54,959
This is my mother's funeral!
660
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:56,680
You little fucking lying cunt.
661
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:05,520
I'll stay away, okay?
662
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:08,200
I promise.
663
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:13,840
Yeah.
664
00:47:38,240 --> 00:47:42,400
Here. Medications and some pamphlets.
665
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:48,280
It's good roach paper, this.
666
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,920
I'm joking. I'll read them.
667
00:47:58,920 --> 00:47:59,920
What happened?
668
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,080
I was arrested and charged today.
669
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:06,759
Crashed my car outside Bellona's.
670
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,200
Jesus, Niall.
671
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,120
Were you on meth?
672
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:12,800
Yeah.
673
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:15,560
My agent called, too.
674
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:17,840
Someone pictured me outside.
675
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,600
The Sun are gonna run a story on it.
676
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,840
They're likely to mention the car park
677
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:27,120
and where I was.
678
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:32,320
Everyone's gonna know.
679
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:34,240
Oh, Niall.
680
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:39,040
This burden you carry,
it's too much to bear.
681
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,840
Don't you think the universe is
pushing you to take action here?
682
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,120
- I don't believe in that kind of stuff.
- Well, I do.
683
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,119
Is some article in a shit-rag paper
684
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,600
really the way you want
to out yourself to the world?
685
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,600
I mean, what are you scared of exactly?
686
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,160
What people might think.
687
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:05,000
But don't all the important people
in your life already know?
688
00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:07,920
Ruben doesn't.
689
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:10,999
Oh, why don't you just tell him, Niall?
690
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,160
I can't.
691
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:15,560
I just...
692
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,560
- I can't.
- You can.
693
00:49:21,720 --> 00:49:24,999
It might be uneasy at first,
694
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,399
but trust me, you will
tap into a reserve of strength within you
695
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:29,840
that you didn't even know you had.
696
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:34,760
Use this as a chance
to open yourself up to the world.
697
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:37,919
It's that, or let
a pigeon-brained journalist
698
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,480
decide how to tell your story.
699
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,239
Let's be honest,
after your last two books,
700
00:49:43,240 --> 00:49:44,759
you can't really afford
any more bad writing
701
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:45,959
out there associated with you.
702
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:47,320
Fuck you.
703
00:49:53,720 --> 00:49:54,720
Look, just...
704
00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:57,679
go down to the prison tomorrow,
705
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:01,080
look him straight in the eye,
and say, "This is me."
706
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:06,960
Or else maybe you're not man enough
to admit you fuck blokes.
707
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:14,360
Cup of tea?
708
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:53,080
I didn't think I'd see you again.
709
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:00,240
Last time I put that kind of fear in you,
710
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:02,800
we went over a decade.
711
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:05,920
Yeah.
712
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:11,480
So do you want to tell me what
was going on between the two of you then?
713
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:14,999
- Nothing.
- Bullshit.
714
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,639
- Fucking nothing.
- Easy, Ruben.
715
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,760
- I know something went down.
- I'm gay.
716
00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:25,360
Well, I'm bi, but...
717
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:29,600
maybe it's cleaner to say gay.
718
00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:35,560
- You're bi?
- That's right.
719
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,799
That's what me
and Mona were arguing about.
720
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:40,239
She wanted to tell you.
721
00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:42,280
To get me back for snitching about Benji.
722
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:48,960
You're bi.
723
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:51,079
Yeah.
724
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:53,159
You? Bi?
725
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:54,440
No, I--
726
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:56,920
I think I'm gay. Sorry.
727
00:51:57,640 --> 00:51:58,640
Let me retract.
728
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,399
- I'm gay.
- You're gay.
729
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:03,400
I'm gay.
730
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,479
- Well, you surprised, then?
- Yeah.
731
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:23,760
At you admitting it.
732
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,560
Come on, Bambers,
I've always had my suspicions.
733
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:31,399
- Since when?
- Since fucking forever.
734
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:34,720
Since I found all that Doctor Who shit
in your wardrobe, you nugget.
735
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:38,680
Wait, so you're...
736
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:41,679
- you're not annoyed?
- Annoyed?
737
00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:43,239
What the fuck's it got to do with me?
738
00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:46,239
Well, you don't shy away from slurs,
Ruben, at the best of times.
739
00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:48,199
- They're just words.
- No, they're not just words.
740
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:49,959
- They do damage.
- Only if you let them.
741
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:51,000
Well, I let them!
742
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:56,080
I let them every day
of my fucking life, Ruben!
743
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:02,960
What do you mean, you're not annoyed?
744
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,120
I'm not anything.
745
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:08,239
I don't give a fuck who you stick it in.
I mean, why would I?
746
00:53:08,240 --> 00:53:09,399
Our mums are bent.
747
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:11,840
Yeah, but lesbians are cool.
You said that all the time growing up.
748
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:14,160
When I was like 17.
749
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:16,479
If our mums had proved anything,
750
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:18,400
it's that they're actually
pretty fucking uncool.
751
00:53:21,720 --> 00:53:24,679
This is all your shit, son.
This has got nothing to do with me.
752
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:25,880
No chance, Ruben.
753
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:28,079
You called me a faggot all the time.
754
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:31,359
Yeah. I also called you ugly and thick,
755
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,720
but you're not sitting here
being all insecure about that.
756
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,600
Do you want to know
who the real homophobe was
757
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:41,840
in your life?
758
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:45,360
Come here.
759
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:48,120
I'll tell you.
760
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:55,000
You.
761
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,000
You were the only one who cared, Niall.
762
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:05,119
- You always have been.
- No, not really.
763
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:06,479
I was bullied pretty bad in school.
764
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,719
You wouldn't believe the type of shit
that they would say to me.
765
00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:10,040
Yeah, but you listened.
766
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:13,479
March to the beat of your own drum,
tends to drown out the other noise,
767
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:14,719
that's what I say.
768
00:54:14,720 --> 00:54:18,400
- Yeah, but it's not that easy, Ruben.
- It is, Niall. It is.
769
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:22,760
You've wasted your whole life
770
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:25,560
dancing to other people's tunes.
771
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,159
But you've never had the rhythm,
let's be honest.
772
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,959
But I'll be fucked if I'm sitting here
773
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,519
while you make out that I'm
to blame for all your problems.
774
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:36,800
I'll accept 10 to 15%,
no more than that.
775
00:54:48,720 --> 00:54:49,880
So you're not annoyed?
776
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:51,600
No.
777
00:54:53,240 --> 00:54:56,000
Proud, if anything.
778
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:01,400
They can call us gay and proud.
779
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:11,040
Wow, I...
780
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:19,000
- I don't know what to say.
- You don't have to say anything.
781
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:26,240
Thank you.
782
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,960
Can I tell you something, Niall?
783
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:44,080
In the spirit of sharing.
784
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:53,120
It's about my dad.
785
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:56,440
Yeah.
786
00:55:58,560 --> 00:55:59,560
I hated him.
787
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:02,200
I know.
788
00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:07,200
I hated him 'cause of what he did to me.
789
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:12,360
He hit you and stuff?
790
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:18,280
That was the best of it.
791
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:20,040
Yeah?
792
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:34,280
That was the best of it.
793
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:40,160
Oh my God, Ruben, I'm so sorry.
794
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:45,720
Fucks you up, man.
795
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:49,320
- Makes you a fucking half-man.
- No, mate.
796
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:52,320
Mate, you're anything but a half-man.
797
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,399
If you're a half-man,
I hate to think what I am.
798
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:59,159
A fucking quarter-man. A bloody dot-man.
799
00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:01,320
Yeah, but I spent my life proving it.
800
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:04,519
You know,
filling myself back up to the top.
801
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:07,200
Well, you succeeded. No doubt about it.
802
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:11,600
You know...
803
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:14,920
My body would...
804
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:19,160
respond sometimes, you know?
805
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:27,600
Right.
806
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,080
In a lot of ways, it's the closest
I've ever been with someone.
807
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:41,040
Is this too much?
808
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:43,360
No.
809
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:46,240
No, it's fine.
810
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,080
You know, I would...
811
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:58,840
I would cum sometimes.
812
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:00,840
You know?
813
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:08,760
It is too much.
814
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:10,520
Sorry.
815
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:12,600
It is too much.
816
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:20,880
Do you think less of me?
817
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:26,440
What? Of course not.
818
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:28,800
Don't be ridiculous. You're...
819
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:31,080
You're my hero.
820
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,760
More so now that I know
where you get your armor from.
821
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:40,079
I'm so sorry.
822
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:41,959
Hey, look, you don't need
to be sorry, all right?
823
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:44,799
You felt like you couldn't be
honest with me.
824
00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:46,719
It was all me, all right? I'm so sorry.
825
00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:49,559
- I fucking love you, brother, yeah?
- I fucking love you, man.
826
00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:52,319
- I fucking love you, yeah?
- I fucking love you, brother.
827
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:55,720
I fucking love you, brother, yeah?
Fucking love you too, yeah?
828
00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:57,840
I fucking love you.
829
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:07,920
Oh, fuck me.
830
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,920
We definitely look like a couple
of homosexuals now, eh?
831
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:18,560
Oh, fucking hell.
832
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:21,560
Oh, man.
833
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,200
Fuck me. I feel lighter. Is there...
834
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:31,800
Is there anything else
you want to get off your chest?
835
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:35,599
Yeah, I might as well
get them all out now, eh?
836
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:38,600
Yeah. Go on, go on.
837
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:41,880
Oh, fuck.
838
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:44,880
Do you see Alby?
839
00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:47,919
Yeah, the fucking bloke I mashed.
840
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:49,000
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
841
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,960
- I'm seeing him.
- What? No way!
842
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,360
Yeah.
843
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:57,919
- I think he's the one.
- What?
844
00:59:57,920 --> 00:59:59,639
How long have you been together for?
845
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:01,759
A week. Not even.
846
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:03,639
What? You fucking mad cunt.
847
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:04,880
You know when you know, right?
848
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:06,880
I suppose.
849
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:08,439
Wait, wait, hold on.
850
01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:10,519
Was that what he wanted to tell me
in the kitchen that time?
851
01:00:10,520 --> 01:00:12,439
- Yeah.
- You fucking cunt.
852
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:14,999
I went to prison for over
a decade because of that.
853
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:16,440
I wouldn't have given a shit!
854
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:19,440
You fucker. You fucking cunt.
855
01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:22,120
I'm sorry.
856
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:28,560
Wait, you go! You go!
857
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,159
You see Celeste?
858
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:35,079
What, as in my ex-flatmate, Celeste?
859
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:36,159
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
860
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:39,279
- I fucked her when I got out of prison.
- What? No way!
861
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,199
- Made it my mission.
- What? She went for it?
862
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:42,680
Like a dog to a boner.
863
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:46,839
Didn't she fucking hate you?
864
01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:48,279
She fucking did, yeah.
865
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:50,720
Fucking frog bitch almost broke my pelvis.
866
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:58,599
Go on, you tell me something.
867
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:00,999
- Go on, go on.
- I fucking hated your mum.
868
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:02,760
Yeah, I fucking hated yours too.
869
01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:11,519
You see how your gym kit
would always go missing back at school?
870
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:12,759
- Yeah.
- That was me.
871
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:14,640
Fuck. You fucker.
872
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:18,439
Yeah, I just couldn't resist
seeing you slipping
873
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:20,880
around the football pitch
in your awful fucking brogues.
874
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,960
Yeah, I looked like a fucking tit
every bastard week.
875
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:29,760
You fucking cunt. You cunt.
876
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:41,360
Okay.
877
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:44,280
Anything else?
878
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,560
Yeah, I fucked Mona while you were away.
879
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:56,480
Baird's my child.
880
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:51,879
He’s got some
fucking fight in him, has he?
881
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:53,280
- Come on!
- No!
882
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:00,360
Fuck!
883
01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:35,280
No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
884
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:50,079
I fucking love you, brother, yeah?
885
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:52,119
I fucking love you, yeah?
886
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:53,360
Yeah!
887
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:13,200
Fuck.