Evening, ladies.
How about another top-up?
You, big guy?
What's the score?
Hey. Hey!
This isn't a robbery!
I am from the future!
And all of this...
goes horribly wrong, horribly wrong.
Are you engaged?
- Am I not engaging enough? - What the fuck?
I traveled here today to tell you that things
do not go well for you in the future.
In fact, I'd say you are embarking upon
the darkest possible timeline.
- This is all a giant mistake. - Hey!
Would someone call the cops?
Social media has robbed you of your dignity,
and turned you all into children.
Your fascist selfie culture
has eroded your capacity for critical thinking.
Stop it! No one leaves!
Listen to my words. This is important.
I mean-- Oh, okay.
Here we go.
Fine, fine. I got a bomb.
Whoa! Whoa!
Yeah. These are all bombs.
I'm covered in bombs. Come any closer...
try to escape, and I'll blow us all up.
Are we adequately scared now?
Good. Great. Sit down. Get comfortable.
Hey, sir.
That-- That means you, now. Sit down.
Sit down. Come on.
Oh yeah, we got a hero.
Sit down! Sit down!
Sit the fuck down!
Like I said, I'm from the future.
A future which is totally, completely fucked.
And guess what? It's all your fault.
Not specifically you 40 or so people,
but everyone from your time.
You're all equally complicit.
And I'm here to set it right.
It all started with morning phone time.
At first, people would wake up, check their emails in bed,
look at Facebook, scroll Twitter, X, Y, Z, whatever.
Just a few minutes. No big deal.
But morning phone time
just got longer, and longer.
Eventually, people stopped getting out of bed entirely.
Society fell apart.
People had to be hooked up to feeding tubes and catheters.
The medical supply industry boomed.
But everything else was fucked.
No one even noticed that the fucking world had ended.
Are any of you even listening to me?
Let me ask you something.
Where did all the bookstores go? Huh? Yeah.
What did you do when the record stores started disappearing?
Nothing. You did nothing.
Pop quiz.
Anybody know a phone number?
I bet not one of you knows a single
phone number by heart anymore.
Progress is only progress if it makes things better.
Otherwise, it's a mistake.
Humanity has made wrong turns before.
Hitler, the Segway.
Someone just has to be there to turn us around,
put us back on course,
to say, "No, children, this is not right,
this is not the way."
That's why I'm here.
I'm looking for recruits, soldiers,
people who have nothing to lose and everything to fight for.
There is an artificial intelligence coming
in the not-so-distant future
that shuts this whole human civilization thing down.
But it can be stopped.
Humanity can be saved.
And this is where the revolution begins.
This isn't a joke.
This is where it starts, yeah.
At a fucking Norms in Los Angeles.
Somewhere in this diner is the correct combination
of people who are gonna join me in this revolution,
and save humanity.
I am going to find that right group,
and we are gonna succeed.
This is my 117th time in this diner.
Doing this exact speech.
Can you imagine that?
117 times I've tried to get through to all of you.
Kind of like your favorite movie, Jim, Groundhog's Day.
That's your favorite movie, isn't it, Jim? Yeah?
Yeah, uh-- uh--
- Uh, yeah, I-- - Uh, yeah, yeah?
- How-- what-- um... - Yeah.
How did you...
I have experienced this night over and over again,
each time with a different combination
of people in this diner.
And every time we have failed,
I have held some of you in my arms,
and watched the very life flicker from your eyes.
Some of you I even considered family.
I've done this so many times.
I know some of you better than you know yourselves.
Ha!
Hey, Nancy Delaney and Charles Roberts,
you're on your first date.
Charles thought Norms was the right call.
Nancy's been planning her exit for 20 minutes.
Neither one of you have ever joined my revolution
and made it out of this diner alive.
Excuse me.
You!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
You are the least useful person I've ever met.
29 times you've raised your hand to join my revolution.
29 times.
You've been a fucking albatross around my neck.
You've got a bad knee, Gerald. Figure it out.
You die 16 minutes into the journey every time.
You're also mind-numbingly dull.
Raise your hand tonight. I fucking dare you.
There she is, my queen. Yes.
Don't be coy.
You are my greatest soldier. My warrior in this revolution.
We push it all the way to the limit.
You show me things about myself I never wanted to see,
but things I needed to know.
The sexual tension between us is like a summer storm.
But we never act on it. Never.
We channel it into our bloodlust.
But in the end, you betray me every goddamn time.
You break my heart, but here I am,
looking in those big brown eyes of yours,
and I'm thinking, fuck it.
Let's roll those dice one more time, baby.
Let's burn it all down.
If you come with me, there is a chance you will die tonight.
And if you don't, well, that's game over
for each and every person in this room.
I promise you that.
But tonight we got a shot. We can save the world,
start over, do something, something real.
Dolores, do not call the police again.
Put that phone away.
There is a correct configuration
of people in this diner
that perfectly combats the future, and saves humanity.
I am not fucking wrong about this.
I will try every single combination
until I get it right.
So I need to know right now, who's joining me?
Who's ready to save the future?
Greg.
Greg, come on, you're Spartacus. Let's go.
Let's go, big boy, up and at 'em.
There they are. Hey, Phi Beta Kappa.
What do you say? Come on, fellas, beer's on me.
Let's make some bad decisions.
Toga! Toga! Toga!
Hey, you remember...
Huh, okay.
Baby, it looks like it's just you and me.
Wouldn't be the first time, am I right?
What do you say we make it the last? Huh?
Come on, kid.
Hey.
Really? Zero hands? You're kidding me.
That's the first fucking time, that's--
that's ever happened.
- Fuck me. - Hey, why don't you just go,
before you get yourself hurt, huh?
- You're not well. - Fuck you, Pete.
I'm not crazy.
Why is everyone from your timeline so fucking dumb?
- You look homeless, bro. - Who said that?
Fuck you, too. I'm not homeless.
I come from a nightmare apocalypse.
This is the height of fucking fashion, where I come from.
You should see what our homeless look like.
They look dead.
Oh, fantastic.
Here come the police.
Thank you so much, Dolores.
This is a total bust.
Whatever.
Whatever, I'm gettin' out of here.
I had a bad feeling about this run from the jump.
What are you looking at? I gotta carb up for the trip.
I'd like to see you survive the calorie burn
of a temporal rift.
I'll join you.
Well, I'll be damned. Uh, yeah.
Uh, uh...
Ma'am, please, st-- join us.
Right over there.
Anyone else?
Well, maybe this night wasn't a bust after all.
Well, that's bad news for the rest of you,
because now we're gonna do it the hard way.
Let's go. You, phony soprano, let's go, shitbird.
Oh! Okay, okay.
- Jesus Christ! - Stand there with her.
There are 47 people in this diner,
which means there are millions of possible combinations,
but I will find the right group eventually.
Not you, not you.
Definitely not you.
You two, let's go. Sonny and Cher, let's go.
All right, all right, all right.
Go stand with the others. If anyone tries any shit,
I'm gonna detonate this fucking thing. Now!
Take me!
Just don't hurt these people.
All right, big boy.
You're coming, too. Hurry it up.
Shit, we're running out of time. Uh, not you, not you.
Definitely not you. Put your fucking hand down.
Gerald, please, come on.
I'll go with you.
No, absolutely not.
Why?
I don't know. You creep me out.
You get a real "off her meds" vibe,
I don't need that shit.
Uh, let's see. That's five.
Yeah. Uh, I don't know. One more.
You, wind beneath my wings. Let's go.
You, why not? Let's go. Sure.
Come on. That's, uh, that's six.
That could be enough. It's hard to say.
You know what? Fuck it. You're coming, too.
I'm in a weird mood tonight. Let's go, princess.
I guess that means the rest of you get the night off.
Kindly stay in your seats until we get out of here,
and, uh, no hero bullshit.
Now, this a weird fucking group, isn't it?
Definitely never tried this combination before.
How exactly are we gonna get out of here?
Uh, usually, we don't.
A deranged man with a bomb holding an entire restaurant hostage
makes for a tense standoff with the boys in blue.
Yeah, get taller, taller, taller.
Yeah, it's okay. It's okay.
Hey! It's gonna be okay!
Or it's not. I don't know.
If this isn't the right group, I'll be honest,
you're in for a rough night.
But if this is the right group, then that means
each and every one of you is bringing something
to the table that's gonna help save this world.
Rest assured, your entire lives
have been building to this night.
Either way, I say, fuck it. Let's roll those dice.
The revolution begins tonight!
Good luck!
Have fun!
Don't die!
I'm nervous.
I feel like I need more saliva in my mouth.
You're fine.
- I'm too old for this. - No, you're not.
You're very appropriately aged.
Oh, they're not gonna like me.
That's probably true, but that's okay.
You're not here to be liked.
I don't think this is a good idea.
Mark, can we please not do this again now?
Well, I-- I just don't see this being a good fit for me.
So, quit. Do whatever you want.
- God knows you always do. - What's his name?
- The... - Who?
The guy that left on the whatever.
- The sabbatical? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tim. They called him Mr. Kempshaw.
Yeah, yeah. When's he coming back?
I don't know.
Okay, I have to go. I'll see you at lunch.
You're gonna be fine. I promise.
Okay.
I don't like people.
I know, but they're barely people.
I'm your substitute teacher.
Uh, you can call me Mark.
I'm not sure if that's against the rules.
Uh, but speaking of rules,
are you allowed to have your phones out in class like this?
This is Anna Karenina by Count Leo Tolstoy.
Can anyone tell me who, uh, Tolstoy is?
A Boomer.
Incorrect. Uh...
he's a Russian writer from the 19th Century,
and we will be reading this book.
Is it YA?
- No, no. - Is it A?
Uh, I-- I don't think that's a thing.
Did-- Did they make a movie of it?
Um, I don't know. That's irrelevant. Uh...
Oh, I found it.
It's, like, a million years old, though.
It has Keira Knightley in it.
Can you put away your phones, please?
I'm listening to the audiobook. It fucking sucks.
Oh, no, the audiobook doesn't count.
I-- You have to read the actual book.
Yes?
I need a Pepsi.
- A what? - I need a Pepsi.
I haven't had a Pepsi yet today, and I need a Pepsi.
Can I go get a Pepsi?
Why do you keep saying Pepsi so much?
- What'd they give you? - 11th grade English.
- On your first day? - Yeah.
That's brutal.
Yeah.
I caught a student passing a note this morning.
- You know what it said? - What?
"Have you tried Southern Heat Barbecue Doritos?
They're delicious."
That's an advertisement, right?
They're literally advertising to each other.
They passed a handwritten note?
No, it was an app.
- I think it was Note Passer. - Oh yeah, they love that one.
Did you guys hear about Craig?
He's on sabbatical. Stress-related.
- Really? Oh. - Lucky bastard.
What exactly are the rules
about students using phones in class?
Oh, that's a ridiculous question.
Rules?
Are there rules in war, Mark?
No, it just seems like they shouldn't be allowed
to have their phones out.
I don't like it either, man.
I've been working on something in my off hours.
Hmm.
- What is that? - Jesus Christ.
Please don't encourage him, Mark.
I call it a jammer.
It locks up their phones. Bricks 'em.
Really freaks the little fuckers out.
Yeah? It looks like a toy from, uh, Mars Attacks.
- Yeah, he loves that movie. - Classic.
Can you just put that away, Dale? Please.
Yeah, you're going to get us in trouble.
What is that?
Damn it, not again.
- School shooting. - Really?
Come on, Mark.
You're a sad old lady.
I'm not that old.
You're, like, a hundred years old.
You're like a witch.
I'm only 35.
That's, like, older than most trees.
You're, like, my mom's age.
You're like a dead person.
- Hey, l-- leave her alone, huh? - Mark, Mark.
- What? - Stop.
What did you say, Grandpa Dinosaur?
Honey, he didn't mean it.
- No, I-- - He didn't mean it.
I-- I said just, you know, just...
like, ease up, ease up on her, that's all.
All clear. Everyone to class.
- Where's Dale? - He went on sabbatical.
Lucky son of a bitch.
Why is everyone on sabbatical? Like, what does that even mean?
Mark, uh, some people just need to go on sabbatical.
It's a hard job.
Well, how do you even know if Dale's on sabbatical?
The vice principal told me.
Well, where's the principal?
On sabbatical.
I'm almost positive high school teachers don't go on sabbatical.
These are troubling times, Mark.
Uh, uh, I'm-- I'm sorry. I...
Oh, God. No.
I did something bad.
I-- I think I'm in trouble.
What did you do?
I-- I touched one of their phones.
You did what?
Yeah, the-- the images were hypnotic.
They were drawing me in.
Just random flashing images.
And on each one of their phones, the exact same images.
I think there's something sinister going on.
I-- I think the teachers are disappearing.
And I think the students have something to do with it.
Also, high school teachers don't-- don't go on sabbatical.
I-- I checked it out!
Mark, do you know how paranoid you sound right now?
- What? - I'm sorry,
but can you just do the right thing for me?
For us, just once, Mark.
I swear, if I lose this job
because you touched a kid's phone--
Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet.
I know things aren't great between us right now.
And I know I fucked up my last six jobs.
But I'm not being paranoid.
I cannot believe this is happening.
Honey, I need us to be a team right now, please.
Please.
What?
What are they doing?
Okay, everyone get to the side!
Aah!
Oh! Why did you touch the phone?
I don't know.
- Oh no! - Ah!
This way, this way!
Oh my God, oh!
Oh my God, let's go this way!
Oh! What do we do?
What do we do now?
I don't know, find something to protect yourself with!
Okay!
Oh!
This must be Joe's classroom. Do these things even work?
- I don't know! - Here, take one.
Okay!
Oh, God! Stay back!
Oh!
Slow down. Let's just act normal.
How's this?
- Go! - Oh, no! Okay.
Oh, my--
- We gotta go now, right now! - Okay! Okay!
Run 'em over!
Just let us go, please.
Not an option. There are three exits at this Norm's diner.
Front door, back door, and side emergency.
Maybe we can negotiate with them! Maybe they'll believe
your story, you know, about the revolution!
Yeah, maybe pigs will fly out of my ass!
Don't patronize me, Bob. I know you don't believe me.
But if you make it out of here at some point tonight, you will.
If any of you are thinking about making a run for the cops...
Yeah. Right here. Just one push. One push.
If you're from the future, why didn't you stop the waitress
- from calling the cops? - Maybe I did, Scott.
Maybe someone else called the police.
Someone not in this diner. Someone who told them
I'm strapped with a bomb and have multiple accomplices.
If you've done this so many times,
why don't you just tell us which way to go?
Because there's no correct answer here, Janet.
I'm telling you what I know.
There are three bad options. The front...
obviously, the worst.
We got it! We got it!
The back...
I'll be honest, it showed some promise at first.
Okay. Okay, come on. Come on, let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
Come on. Stay low. Stay low. Stay low. Be quiet.
There!
Last is the emergency side exit.
Now that's a real shit show.
Breach!
Go, boys!
Don't shoot!
I'd really, really rather not try that again.
Why are we listening to this nutjob?
He's never been here before. What are we talking about?
Look, just tell us, based on your experience,
what is our best chance of getting out of here alive?
I really don't like to say it out loud.
It's kind of a morale killer.
Oh, come on!
All right, fine! We split into two groups.
One group goes out the back door,
and the other sacrifices
their lives so the other can make it, okay?
Yeah, it's a bummer.
Yeah, I know. It's a real fucking bummer.
What is that even counting down?
Yeah, you haven't even told us our-- our goal.
- What, something about AI? - Yeah, we don't really
get into that till we get out of the diner, okay?
Well, we're not getting out the front.
Don't look at me. I guess we follow the princess.
How many are there?
- A lot. - Well, who's going?
- Not me. Fuck that. - Real brave, Scott.
- I'll go. - Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- No, no, no, no, no. - Let me go.
- Let her go. - No, no, no.
I applaud your gumption there, princess,
but I know that look in your eyes.
Where I come from...
those eyes are more common than brown.
I'm trying to save the world here,
not facilitate a suicide, okay?
Does anyone have any weapons?
None that are useful in this situation.
What the fuck does that mean?
- What, are you packing? - No, I-- I--
Bob here's got a gun.
Yeah, he's planning to shoot me with it and be the big hero.
- I wasn't. I'm so sorry-- - It's okay, Bob.
We've been through this before. In fact, I pick you a lot.
You're kind of my lucky charm. And guess what, Bob?
You are gonna be the big hero tonight.
What are you talking about?
I want you to buy us our window.
You've done it before. You've survived before.
Do it for those boys back at your booth.
It's Boy Scouts, right?
Troop 47. I'm the assistant scout leader.
Not gonna be assistant tomorrow. Do it for 47.
This is why you're here, Bob. It all begins with you.
Those boys out there,
they're never gonna forget
the day Bob saved the fucking world.
- I save the fucking world. - Get out there!
- Bob saves the fucking world. - Semper Fi. You got this.
Let's go. Semper Fi, Bob.
Okay, let's go. Bob's dead. Everyone follow me.
- What do you mean? - But you said--
- Come on. Quickly. - What are you talking about?
Never tried that before. I thought it was worth a shot.
- Oh, well. - That's fucked up!
I'm sorry, was someone else coming up with a plan?
It's dark times.
Ah! Goddamn it!
- They breached the front. - Let's try the other side.
No point, no point. Everyone relax.
Look, this group is a bust--
I'm not dying at a fucking Norm's!
Sometimes if you lie down, they don't shoot so much.
You better find a way to get us--
- Hey, hey! Clicky, clicky. - Wait, wait, wait!
- Wait. There's another way. - Oh, look who decided
- to get involved. - In the office,
there's a hidden door, and it leads to the cellar.
In the cellar, there's a crawl space, and it takes us
- to an exit down the block. - There's no cellar.
I've been here 117 times.
- I've never seen a cellar. - Take us to the office! Go, go!
Hey, where you going? Guy--
Guy with the bomb. Guy in charge here.
Okay, okay, show me this magic secret door
that somehow I've missed one hundred--
Well, what the hell did I just kill Bob for?
Maybe, uh, speak up a little faster next time, Susan.
All right, before we leave, I need everyone's cell phones.
- Come on. - What? Why?
Just do it, or I'm gonna murder-suicide us all
in the restaurant office. Let's go, come on.
- Jesus Christ. - Come on, come on.
All right, all right, all right.
- Hey, hey. - I-- I don't have one.
Yeah, of course you don't, weirdo.
- So unnecessary! - Down the ladder. Come on.
Guy with the button, huh? Let's go.
Hey, hey. Tell me how you...
Seriously, how did you know about that hidden door?
- I-- - Huh?
Who cares? Let's go.
You said there was a way out of here?
Yeah. Over there.
Whoa!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Who the fuck are you?
Tell me right now how you knew there was a door up there.
- I-- - You a cop or something?
No, no.
- Who sent you? - No one.
- Huh? - I just wanted to help.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- You just wanted to help? - Yes.
She saved our lives, man.
You just knew there was a basement in Norm's?
Hey, hey.
Look at me.
Maybe it's just like you said.
We are the right group, huh?
Are-- are we gonna get out of here, or...
Dude!
Something's different tonight.
Looks like you're next. Come on.
My little Robby.
Poor little Robby.
What's worse is mine was shot by his best friend.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Now I have to go halfway across town
in rush hour traffic.
Did you lose your child in the school shooting today?
Ours died too.
After we sign the paperwork, you can come with us.
It's your first time, right?
Was he great?
Your kid?
Was he a great kid?
- Yes. - That's a shame.
It's a shame when they're great and get shot by their peers.
You'll come with us. Right after.
Wh-- where?
She's in shock. Give her the card.
Go tomorrow. Tonight, just go home.
Why deal with the traffic?
Why deal with it? Tomorrow's as good as today.
- Maybe run a bath. - Yeah.
Go first thing in the morning.
All right, who's next?
You go, honey. Hi, Wendy.
Hey, Brenda.
It's just a little paperwork,
and then you can go to the store.
She's gonna go tomorrow.
Good idea, what with all the traffic.
That's exactly what we were saying.
Hi there. Welcome.
We're so sorry for your loss.
My name is Blaise. How can I help?
I-- I don't know what I'm doing here.
Oh, first time! Oh, first time.
Okay, well, yeah, that is not a problem.
We can get you, uh, set right up.
Okay, uh, which school did the shooting take place at?
Uh, Glen-- Glenhurst.
Glenhurst.
Darren's in the ninth grade.
- He was. - Ninth grade.
Great, great. Got it.
So, are you looking to clone Darren today?
What?
We can recreate your son in a clone body.
Fully organic human flesh,
taken directly from your son's source DNA.
I don't-- What do you mean?
Are you saying you can give me my son back?
Yes. Yeah, I mean, the process isn't perfect.
I mean, physically-- physically, it is spot-on.
You know, we have that down. But...
when it comes to the personality, well...
you know, we do our best.
The brain is a tricky thing.
This is... real?
Why have I never heard of it before?
Oh, it's a classified program.
Yeah, we keep it pretty hush-hush.
Also, it's, uh-- it's wildly expensive, so...
How-- how much is it?
Uh... a lot.
Uh, but, because your son was killed
in a public school shooting,
the government will actually take the hit for most of it.
- They will? - Mm-hmm.
You know, we could subsidize the price even further
if you get the version with ads.
Ads?
Once a day, your son will do an ad.
I know. It's not weird or anything.
He does it as himself, in his own voice,
and they'll be tailored towards products
you find interesting anyway.
Is he a robot?
What-- No. No.
No, we're, uh, nowhere near being able to do that.
He's just a clone.
Yeah, pure, organic human flesh.
I'm sorry. I'm-- I'm just a little overwhelmed.
Mmm, yeah.
So...
you're saying... you can give me my son back?
Pretty much, yeah.
So, let's start out with personality traits.
Right, now, try to be as specific as possible,
but I'd only pick one. Two at most.
Any of these jump out at you? I mean, was he neat?
Dumb? Sleepy? Weird?
- Completely unhinged? - What? No.
One of the options is "completely unhinged"?
Yeah, but those are usually for the shooters,
- not the ones who get shot. - You clone the shooters too?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, big time. Government pays for that.
But, you know, we can make sure they never shoot again.
Well... 70% chance they never shoot again.
- So, what are you thinking? - Oh, uh...
Weird, I guess.
No, I don't-- Um...
Yeah. Yes, weird. He was weird.
- But a good weird. - Mmm.
You know? He was eccentric.
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
All right. Uh, hobbies!
So, which hobbies did Robby have?
- Darren. - Hmm? Oh, God, sorry!
Uh, yes, Darren. Sorry.
So, uh... which hobbies?
He wasn't into any of those.
He was...
special.
And he was sweet, and odd, and...
so kind.
Okay, you know, I'm just gonna put down "sports."
Flaws. Hit me with some of Darren's flaws.
Now, just so you know, you don't have to pick any flaws.
They're just there for authenticity.
You know, we could skip 'em entirely.
I would've liked some more hugs, I guess.
- Okay. - No, I don't-- I--
He was perfect. He was--
I just want him back.
Not a big hugger. Got it. So, no more flaws, then?
Clumsy.
Yeah. He was clumsy.
Clumsy. Okay. Mmm...
You sure you wanna stick with that one?
- Yes. Why? - Clumsy?
Could be why he got shot, right?
I liked that he was clumsy.
Okay, clumsy.
It's your funeral.
Uh, moving along to...
favorite snacks.
Here's some information for a local support group
you might find useful.
Now you can just have a seat.
Shouldn't be too long.
Okay.
Oh, my--
Oh, my God.
- Hey. Hi. - What's up, Mom?
Are you-- are you okay?
Oh, my--
Were they nice to you there?
They were chill. I had pizza.
- Well, that's good. - Pizza's my favorite.
I know!
It's so good to see you.
You got anything to drink? I'm thirsty.
I can stop somewhere.
We can go anywhere you want.
I want Apple-Berry Peach Tea.
Is that-- I--
I don't know that drink.
It's only got 70 calories, and it's delicious.
Made from real fruit flavoring. Comes in other flavors,
like Mango Tea Honey and Classic plain Apple-Berry.
Okay.
We can get that, for sure.
Thank you for your service.
- Thank you for your service-- - Honey! What are you doing?
So, I had a thought...
that, uh, maybe it would be a good idea
if you talked to some of your friends
about anything that you're going through.
Or, if you wanted to talk to me,
I would love nothing more than to--
Uh, where are you going, honey?
Gotta play sports.
Oh.
Come on.
Swish!
- So glad you could make it! - There she is!
How was the traffic coming over here?
- Not bad, I hope? - No, it was fine.
- This is Darren. - Of course it is.
Darren, the other kids...
- Let me take your coat. - Oh, okay.
- There's pizza in the kitchen. - I love pizza.
Of course you do.
We told you it would all work out.
Yeah. Yeah.
- I'm just not sure-- - We've all been there.
- Now mingle! Talk to parents. - Have a cocktail.
Okay.
And he was still mowing the lawn... at midnight.
I just don't think he feels like my son anymore.
It's almost like having a stranger living in my house.
Oh, really? We don't mind so much.
Ours was completely unhinged before.
Don't worry, he wasn't the shooter.
Oh, there's a different group for that.
- Thank you for your service. - Thank you for your service.
Thank you for your service.
It's-- it's just a hat.
I wasn't even in the military.
Oh, they love to say that, though.
They do, they love to say it.
Is, uh, this your first meeting?
Yeah, it's my first time,
- my first meeting. - Okay.
This is our fourth time going through it.
You're kidding.
You've lost four kids in school shootings?
- Oh, no. - Oh, no. No, no. Same kid.
Yeah, four different shootings.
Yeah, we, uh-- we lost Claire
two years ago in a school shooting.
And then we cloned her.
And, uh, then we lost the clone in a school shooting.
And then again, and, um, then again one more time.
That--
that's the worst thing I've ever heard.
Well, we decided to have a little fun with it
- this time around. - Yeah.
Yeah, not get so hung up on making "our Claire." You know?
- No. - We just made a really silly,
- funny kid to make us laugh. - Yeah, yeah.
Oh, she's so entertaining.
We just went nuts.
She makes us laugh and laugh.
You know, and isn't that the point?
You know, when you boil it all down?
Just have fun with it. That's what we say.
They're just gonna shoot each other anyway.
Yeah...
Oh, you know the guy at the store?
He was like, "What religion is she?"
And we were like, "Well, I don't know. Muslim?"
I mean, like, why not, right?
- You gotta have fun. - Yeah, yeah.
- She's also a little bit racist. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, she is. Yeah, it's hilarious.
Oh, you know what? We also-- we made her, like, way too tall.
Oh, yes. Like, crazy tall. Like, "What the fuck?" tall.
I swear to God, I laugh every time she walks into the room.
You know, she's like, "Mommy, are we Muslim?" And I'm like,
"No, honey, only you."
"Now go outside and play, you big galoot."
We have fun.
Oh, we do.
Hey.
Hi.
I, um-- I couldn't
help but overhear what you were saying earlier.
I had the same problem with my Brandon.
It just wasn't my Brandon.
And then, um... I found this.
- What is it? - You have to buy a device.
It's like a hard drive with an earpiece.
It's not expensive.
You fill out an online form, and a few minutes later,
you get a call on the earpiece, and...
it'll be your child.
They get the personality a lot closer than these clones do.
I don't understand.
What is it?
For now, it's just a voice.
There's no body yet.
But five years from now, who knows
what they'll be able to do.
- See you, Tom. - Later.
Here.
Take mine. I got a bunch of 'em at home.
I can see you're suffering.
This is the real deal.
I hope you find peace.
Hello?
Mom?
Darren?
How are you, Mom?
Darren, is that you?
Yes, Mom.
You sound tired.
I am tired, baby. I am. It's...
It's been a tough few days. - I miss you.
I miss you, too. So much.
I'm thirsty.
Can you get some more apple berry peach tea?
It's only got 70 calories per serving, and it's delicious...
Mom?
Yes, baby?
I need you to do something for me.
Of course. Anything.
I need you to take me with you.
Take you with me where?
I'll guide you the whole way.
It'll-- It'll be like an adventure, Mom.
Where am I going?
- You have to go with him. - With who?
The man.
The man in the restaurant.
Well, that was dark.
Yeah, wait till you see the future.
Oh! We made it. Oh, thank God.
Hold your celebration. Norms was the easy part.
From here, it gets, uh, uncomfortable.
Jesus Christ. The fuck is that?
It's a map. I drew it. Fuck you.
Let's see your map.
The new route out of Norms put us here,
behind the police perimeter. These buildings are dead ends.
Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Wait.
What is the plan here? Where are you taking us?
- Can you just tell us? - Now.
- Yeah, just tell us. - Okay, fine. Here we go.
A half a mile from here...
there's a nine-year-old boy building God in his bedroom.
Our mission is to make sure that the God he builds
is a God that likes people.
And by God, you mean...
Post-singularity, self-perpetuating,
information-processing artificial intelligence,
AI, the big bopper.
AI? But isn't that... a thing already?
It gets a lot worse, honey.
That's right, Mark.
And if we don't get to this kid in the next hour,
that's a wrap on people.
Fucking nonsense.
What was that, Scott? Speak up.
Kid's house is six blocks away here.
Clearly, we can't just waltz down the street,
so we're gonna need to cut through a few buildings and backyards.
There are two vicious Dobermans in this auto shop here.
A homeless guy with a knife is asleep on this roof here.
Do not wake him.
There's a storage yard with a barbed wire fence.
I think that's our best bet. If we can hop the fence
without alerting the guard,
which is highly unlikely with you chuckleheads,
we'll be in spitting distance of a solid route
through the backyards. Okay?
And what happens if we alert the guard?
Nothing good, Scott. Let's move out.
Wait, wait, wait.
What exactly are we supposed to do
when we get to this boy's house?
This kid invents superintelligence in 60 minutes.
Unfortunately, the safety measures
to keep AI in check aren't invented for another 50 years.
But I come from the future, where the smartest people
of my time worked long and hard to create
the necessary safety protocols,
which should have been in place before AI was ever created.
They sent me here to install this software
into the AI at the moment just before it gains consciousness.
What kind of safety measures?
Do I look like a software engineer?
I'm just a soldier on a mission.
Put this thing into another thing
before this thing gets to zero.
Run!
Go to the left! Go to the left! The left, everybody!
On my six, on my six, on my six!
Move, move, hey.
Go, go! Go, go, go!
Oh, those were not cops.
You think?
- Who was that? - Bad guys.
- What do you mean, bad guys? - I mean fucking bad guys.
- Guys you don't want to meet. - Who sent them?
No idea, never found out.
Best not to think about it too much.
Never been down here before.
Need to scope it out. Find us a new route. Stay here.
And keep quiet.
Good one.
You guys don't actually believe this shit, do you?
Let's get the hell out of here.
Are you okay?
I was already having a shitty day.
I just wanted a slice of pie and a few moments' quiet.
I just-- I just wanted pie.
Do you guys really think he has a bomb?
I don't think that's a bomb.
Look, when he comes back,
I say we jump him, overtake him. Okay,
he's not from the future. He doesn't know shit.
He's gonna get us killed.
No, no, he-- he knew a few things.
Things he couldn't have known.
Crazy people get lucky too, okay?
He didn't know about the cellar, or the car
that just tried to kill us.
Yeah, but he knew that Bob had a gun.
Anyone could tell that Bob had a gun.
Also, he let Bob die.
Okay? You guys really believe him?
No, I guess I don't.
- What about you? - In the diner,
he wasn't acting like a man ready to blow himself up.
He was hiding behind us like he was scared of getting shot.
Exactly. So what are we talking about?
You guys want to end up like Bob?
This guy's fucking psychotic.
Yeah, I don't really care either way.
I just kind of want to see where this is gonna go.
Yeah. Nobody asked you. You're fucking...
Who has a cell phone?
No one. He-- he took our phones.
Who has a fucking cell phone?
Me, I do. Calm down, psycho.
Why do you have two cell phones?
Couldn't decide between models. This one has a better camera--
Nobody cares. Nobody cares.
Just let me see it. Just for a second. Please.
- It's an emergency. - Okay, here.
What the hell?
I'm allergic to cell phones and Wi-Fi.
You fucking weirdo.
We could have used that to call for help.
You're allergic to cell phones?
And Wi-Fi.
God, it's like being allergic to the air.
- That must be hell. - Yeah.
- It's not amazing. - Okay, fuck it.
When he comes back, I'm taking him down.
Someone's gotta do something.
I thought I told you to keep your voices down.
Now I could do a few parlor tricks, prove to you
I'm from the future. But none of that would mean a damn.
What means a damn is you people choosing to
come along for this ride because somewhere inside of you,
you know, the way things are, the way the world is today,
the way people are with each other, the way we're heading,
you know the world's going to shit.
And someone's got to step in and do something about it.
Whether or not you believe I'm the Ghost of Christmas
fucking Future ain't gonna keep us alive tonight.
We'll survive tonight.
Because you decided to wake up
and see the writing on the wall,
and you don't very much fucking like what you see,
and you're ready to do something about it.
Either way, we made it out of Norms, so I won't
force any of you to keep going if you don't want to.
You're free to go.
But I'm running out of time.
47 cents, Scott.
Left side pocket.
Shit.
Why are you still holding that? Is that thing even a bomb?
No, it's not a bomb. It's my way home.
I hit this button and go back, try again.
That's why I keep my thumb right here.
Things go south, I zap out of here,
start over. You people are on your own.
Rule number one is, I am not expendable.
Not until I finish the mission. Not until I see this through.
Wait, so-- so we're expendable?
Yeah.
We're gonna cut across these roofs,
and we're gonna climb down into a backyard.
Okay, but why this whole elaborate plan?
If you know who invented AI,
why don't you just go back in time and kill 'em?
Why don't we just kill a nine-year-old boy?
Uh, first of all, Mark, that's pretty dark.
Second, artificial superintelligence
is an inevitability in all timelines.
Knowing where this kid is
is a gift we should not have been given.
The AI train's already left the station.
We're just trying to install some last-minute brakes.
What is that?
- That's just Gerry. - Who's Gerry?
The fucking homeless guy on the roof.
You mean the guy with the knife?
I don't know. What do you think, Mark?
The Krampus took my daughter.
Keep your voice down. Okay, okay, okay.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Hey, hey, Gerry. Remember me?
Krampus took my daughter.
Okay. Shh!
Krampus took my daughter.
- ...took my daughter... - Shit.
Jesus. Gerry, look!
- Where? - It's invisible people.
Get down!
Those are real bullets!
Yes, super real! Very real!
Go, go, go, go!
Go, go, go, go, go!
Hold on!
- Whoa! - Oh!
Krampus, you took my daughter!
- Thanks, Gerry. - Right.
- Hold up, hold up. - Come on!
I just wanted pie.
Run!
Come on!
- No. - No.
Everyone, into the dumpster.
- What? - Into the dumpster. Jump. Now.
Go. Jump.
Let's go. Let's go, let's go.
Oh, rats.
Why is it always rats?
Oh, my God!
Pigs in a blanket.
Grab it. Absolutely--
- Get under the garbage. - What are you doing?
- Oh, God. - Hi.
We're okay. We-- we're--
Whoa!
Ah, fuck. No, no.
Hey. Hey, you. Move. Move!
Move!
Almost cost us the mission.
Fuck is wrong with you? Got a death wish or something?
When I tell you to move, you fucking move. You got me?
Why didn't you protect Marie?
I don't know. Why didn't you? I got shit to do.
- Who is he? - Your guess is as good as mine.
These two have put an end to some of our most
promising groups. Never managed to get past one of 'em.
And we just got past both. Karl.
That's good, right?
- Means we got a shot. - Yeah, this group has a chance.
Not everyone's gonna make it to the end, Scott.
I'm gonna make it to the end.
Just a few backyards to go. Stay together. Keep quiet.
Come on, let's go.
You still with us, princess?
Why do you care if I die?
I don't know.
Maybe I got a soft spot for weirdos.
Get your head in the game. Stop fucking around.
Something's definitely rotten in Denmark tonight.
Not sure I like it.
What the fuck is wrong with her?
Nothing's wrong with her.
So, what, she's making it up?
I'm not saying that, but according to
our understanding of the brain, what you're describing,
it's not physiologically possible.
According to your understanding.
She'd be the first person in human existence
to what? Be allergic to technology?
- Oh, is that the new one? - Yeah.
- It's the XL. - But, James.
What kind of life will she have?
She can barely go anywhere or be around anyone.
How will she make friends?
How will she ever find happiness or joy or--
Or love?
Shit.
I don't know. I pay you to know.
Just go and do your fucking job. Hey.
You were, like, 30 minutes late.
I know. Uh, sorry. The bus was late, and it's--
Well, who are you?
Ingrid. My name's Ingrid.
No, what princess are you?
Jasmine? Ariel? Elsa?
Uh, yeah, I'm not any of those. I'm sort of just a...
A generic princess.
You're not even from a movie?
Yeah, no, but in a way, I'm also from, like, every movie.
You are gonna go out there, and you are gonna tell them
that you are Elsa's cousin.
God, you're bleeding.
- Oh. Um... - I'm just gonna get you...
- Uh, sorry. - God.
Are you gonna be okay?
Yeah. Yeah. Shit. I-- I got it.
It's just, it's an allergy. Sort of why I work with kids.
Thank you.
Just get the cake out there.
Okay.
♪ Happy birthday, dear Alice ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
There it is.
Make a wish. Boop!
Oh, yay!
Great!
Un-fucking-believable.
- Where the hell have you been? - Oh, sorry.
This place is hard to find.
Nothing is hard to find. Use your--
Is that a Thomas Guide?
I don't believe in phones, sir.
Great. Well, I don't believe in tips.
Asshole.
- Mm. - Hey.
- Mm. - Watch the sunrise with me.
- What? - Watch the sunrise with me.
You crazy? What time is it?
Promise it'll be worth it.
You ever think about having a baby?
- With you? - Come on.
Who wouldn't want a little Iggie running around?
No friends, can barely leave the house.
- Bleeds all over everyone. - Shut up.
Are you serious? You want a kid?
Yeah. Someday.
I'm late.
Oh.
- What is it? - I don't know.
- Well, did you order something? - No.
Okay, then it must be for someone else.
Well, it's got my name on it.
You're gonna return it, right?
I mean, if it hurts you at all, I'll throw it out. I promise.
Okay.
I just thought, I just thought we agreed
to living without these kinds of things.
Yeah, I know, uh...
I know, but I mean, you're going to work, right?
I just want to try it.
I'll only use it in this room.
You won't even be here. It's fine.
Okay.
Okay. I'm gonna finish getting ready for work.
Okay.
♪ Happy birthday, dear Lily ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
You ready to make a wish?
Hey, I'm home.
Tim.
Tim!
- Tim? - Hi.
- Hi, honey. - What are you doing?
- It's the middle of the night. - Yeah, I was starving.
Yeah, I can see that.
Hey, are you okay?
I cannot describe to you how good I feel right now.
I feel electric.
I don't like this. Tim, I don't like this.
It's not like you to lose yourself in a thing like that,
and it's creeping me out.
I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'm just...
I'm just really excited about it right now, I guess.
Why? I mean, what... What even is it?
It's just like a video game, right?
Sort of. Yeah.
Yeah, but...
I mean, no more than... this is a video game.
In fact, it's... it's less of a video game than all this.
What? Reality.
See, it's got me thinking about things
like, why is there pain and unhappiness?
Why is there suffering?
Is it just so we can overcome obstacles and have,
I don't know, transformative experiences
that allow us to grow and better ourselves?
Why can't we already be our best selves?
I don't...
even know how to respond to you right now.
- You sound high. - Look.
What if someone made a better reality than this one?
What if, what if someone made one that was better
in every single way than ours?
Reality as it should have always been.
Hey, hey, come on. Come to bed.
I've... I'll be in soon.
You're still going to work tomorrow, right?
I'm... I'm actually taking some time off.
I guess you could call it a sabbatical.
Okay.
Well, good night.
Good luck, have fun, don't die.
- Excuse me? - Of course.
It's a thing we say to each other in there.
A greeting, like hello or goodbye.
Like aloha, I guess.
♪ Happy birthday, dear Mary ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- Hi. - What's going on?
I'm cooking us dinner.
And I... I got you flowers.
- Why? - Why?
Because I love you.
And I want you to be happy.
- You do? - Of course. Of course.
You're soaking.
Cheers.
- I love you. - I love you too.
So, uh... I have something pretty important
I need to talk to you about.
Okay?
- I love you. - You said that.
I've, uh...
I've decided to make the transition.
Permanently.
It's... it's a... it's a relatively new process,
but there's a facility nearby where they provide you with,
well, everything you need to make it possible.
I've... I've made my choice.
I'm choosing the... other reality over this one.
I'm going to make it permanent.
There's a...
There's a taxi coming for me now.
You can do whatever you want with my things.
- I won't be bringing anything. - I... I don't...
You're leaving me?
You're leaving our life for a video game?
Tim, that's fucking psychotic.
It's a, it's a game. You can't do that.
You... this is fucking crazy.
Look, I wish I'd never gone in there, okay?
But I can't un-know what I know.
Someone has made a better world, Ingrid.
Unequivocally better in every single way.
Why would I choose this world over that one?
Because of me.
It's not enough.
No, no. I'm... I'm not losing you to this.
Tim! Tim, this isn't you.
- You're brainwashed. - I'm sorry.
You're addicted. But please!
Please just don't leave, please! Please!
We're making good time.
We'll cut through these yards here and hold on
this position here until making our final push. Let's go.
Hey, hey, hey! Shouldn't you be more careful?
- They might see you. - Nobody sees us.
Nobody sees anything they don't wanna see.
Bunch of idiots.
Except the dog. Maybe the dog sees us.
What? What are you doing?
The Richardsons are on vacation.
There it is.
Somewhere inside that house is the nine-year-old father of AI.
The house is right there.
- Yeah. - So we made it.
No, other groups have made it this far.
No one's ever made it to that house.
Why? What happens?
I don't know how to put this. I guess...
There's some shit that's about to come down
upon this house that I can't prepare you for.
An enemy's coming that has no weakness, cannot be stopped,
and outnumbers us at minimum, ten to one.
What? What are you saying?
- What's coming? - Well, that's the thing.
I have no idea because it's different every time.
Sometimes it's cops or armed mercenaries like we saw tonight.
Other times it's meth'd-up lunatics with axes.
It's been rabid dogs, an angry mob.
Navy SEALS. Those guys are tough.
Once it was just a million fucking rats.
- They spread disease. - Yeah, that's right. Mark.
- Another time fire. - Oh my God.
- Just fire everywhere. - Very hot.
There's no pattern to any of it.
So I have no idea what's coming for us tonight.
A biker gang, the Yakuza. Your guess is as good as mine.
What the fuck are you talking about? Yakuza? Navy SEALS?
This is a nine-year-old boy.
What kind of fucking 3D printer does he have?
What we're dealing with doesn't interface
with reality in a way you'll understand.
So don't try. It's above your pay grade.
You don't know my pay grade.
- Uh, you drive Uber. So... - Yeah?
Fuck you. I'm an amazing Uber driver.
If there's no rhyme or reason, then it can just be anything.
Yeah, 'cause it could be something nice too.
- Like kittens? - Yeah, kittens.
No, it's not gonna be kittens.
But she's right. Why does it have to be something bad?
Why can't it be something cool? Like... a centaur?
- Oh! - Okay. Stop!
Please don't make light of this.
Like a centaur, like a parade of centaurs, right?
Just throwing confetti.
- They just make us happy. - They make us happy.
Just make you happy, huh? Yeah.
This isn't make-believe. It's not here to entertain you.
It's gonna be real things, like suicide bombers and wolves.
Or a pug. Just one little pug.
It's not gonna be one fucking pug, Susan!
- Okay. - You think this is a joke?
I've watched people die in this house
in ways I will never forget.
So somber the fuck up.
Look, you've made it farther than most groups.
That means something. I truly believe
you could be the group that gets inside that house.
Now let's barricade the doors,
let's find some weapons and let's get ready.
- Okay. - Okay.
So, now what?
Now we just wait.
So if we fail, what happens to us?
I mean, what happens in the future that's so bad?
Well, it's subtle at first,
but over the next few years, things start falling apart.
No one notices until it's too late.
Food, water, resources vanish overnight.
Within 50 years, half the population's dead.
- Half the population? - Yeah.
What about the other half?
The other half's lost forever in a world
of entertainment and distraction.
Their bodies wandering the wasteland, unaware.
Make no mistake.
The AI's gonna try to give you everything you've ever wanted.
Constant distraction, memorable characters,
challenges and obstacles to overcome.
Exciting stakes that matter and a satisfying ending.
But in the end, it will all be a lie.
And you'll live in a cage.
But not you. They never got you.
No... not me.
I always wanted to see a...
I always wanted to see a sunrise.
My mother described them to me in detail.
I would draw her words.
She promised me that someday,
we'd get to see one together somewhere.
Everyone else could see a sunrise anytime they wanted.
I left that world behind.
She said I was safer far away...
where the AI couldn't find us.
So she hid me away from the world, off the grid.
It was all about her.
I resented her for that.
For not giving me the choice to reject it on my own.
You know how kids are.
That made the temptation all the worse.
Who wouldn't want hope of a better life,
to see a sunrise anytime they wanted?
Even if they knew it wasn't real.
When she died, I blamed myself.
But I was also free.
Free to choose my own battles.
Eventually, I found a small group of survivors.
We moved underground.
And I took on the mission to change the future
so that one day, my mother and I could...
sit side by side, watch the sun rise together.
What is... What is that? You hear that?
Shit.
Oh, fuck.
- This is at first. - What's happening?
It's been a lot of weird shit before, but it's never been...
Teenagers.
Oh, shit. They're everywhere.
- House is surrounded. - Why aren't they attacking?
- They're waiting for orders. - Listen to us.
In the high school where we teach,
the teachers, they were disappearing.
And today, the teenagers, they started coming after us, and...
And we, we've been running ever since.
Why would they come for you?
I... I touched one of their phones.
- What? I'm sorry. What? - Well, they didn't like it.
None of them did. And then they reacted together.
Yeah, they just come together. They're like a hive mind.
- They move as one. - Ah, fuck. Fuck.
Shit, we've gotta get her out of here.
- Get off me! - Oh my God.
- Oh my God! - Help!
Pull, pull, pull!
Ah!
Fuck! Fuck!
Upstairs! Go, go, go. Upstairs.
- What do we do now? - We're trapped in here.
Holy shit. They're climbing the fucking walls.
- Ah! - Oh, my God!
Aah!
Oh, my God! Nothing can stop them!
Ah!
- Oh! - Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh!
- Stand back! - What the fuck are those!
Everyone on the roof.
Let's go!
Oh, boy!
All right, ladies, judgment day.
Holy shit.
Defensive positions. Go. go. Go, go, go.
Hold the line. The line, goddamn it.
Mark, I think there's too many of them.
I don't think we can take them all.
No. No, we can't. But I can.
What?
Well, I started this and I'm going to finish it.
What are you talking about?
There's no way you're gonna make it to the house
without someone making a sacrifice, and you know it.
I'm gonna jump down, they're gonna chase me.
I'll give you a brief moment to run for it.
Mark...
I love you.
I'm coming with you.
You cannot leave me alone in the this world, Mark.
I love you. Oh!
Mark. Mark, I love you.
- I've always loved you. - I love you so much.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
What, Are you kidding me? Get a room.
Make it count.
Get off of her!
Over here! Yeah!
They breached the perimeter. That's our window. Let's go.
Everybody, come on. Come on.
- Hey, guys. A little help. - Sorry, Scott.
- Wait! - Told you!
Not everyone's gonna make it to the end.
Fuck you!
- Through here. - Wait.
What is that?
Do you hear that?
Yeah.
Sounds like...
hooves.
Well, that's different.
How is this even happening?
Shitty prompt, guys.
- Really shitty prompt. - What?
Maybe it'll be kittens or a centaur.
I told you not to make light of it.
- No. - Oh.
I just said pug.
Sit on my face and call me Santa,
I think we made it.
Goddamn.
Everybody on their knees. Now!
Oh, fuck Gerry.
Don't move. You're fucked now, man.
You guys are fucked.
So close. So fucking close.
Where's Karl?
- Wh-- what? - What did you do with Karl?
Is that what-- is that-- is that-- That's your buddy?
I-- I'm-- I'm going to be honest with you,
Karl, Karl didn't make it.
- What? - Don't, don't, don't.
I didn't kill him. Just put the-- What's your name?
- Doug. - Doug.
- Yeah. - By any chance,
did you or Karl forget to put the emergency brake on--
on the-- on the Malibu?
- What? - Not a criticism thing.
Did you maybe make just a little Mali-boo boo?
This has been such a fucked-up night.
I know.
A fucking guy came at me with a machete.
We just wanted our 50 grand.
50 grand? I don't-- Who are we--
- Someone hired you? - Anonymous email.
50 K to kill some guy in a plastic trench coat
and anyone with him,
no questions asked.
That's a life changing amount of money
for two guys from Best Buy, yeah.
What were you guys gonna do with that?
Go to Japan.
Kyoto, for the gaming convention.
Oh, yeah. Konnichiwa. That's a good dream, Doug.
It's fucked now.
Well, certainly for Karl, but--
- Don't say his name! - Doesn't have to
get worse for you, Doug.
That's not what Karl wanted.
Don't you fucking say his name.
Okay, wait-- wait-- wait-- I-- I--
Okay, just put the gun down. No more blood needs to be shed.
What do you say we--
we go get a burrito and talk about it, huh?
What?
You like a nice bean and cheese burrito?
That was Karl's favorite.
Of course, it was.
What do you say you and I go get a burrito?
- With jalapenos? - Yeah.
- Extra guac? - The whole shebang.
Oh, what the fuck?
Yeah!
Woo!
Five stars, motherfuckers!
I'm part of the final group.
I told you I'd make it to the end.
Read the fucking room, Scott.
Yeah. That was so unnecessary.
Let's go.
- Fucking rats. - Oh! Oh, my God.
Listen up. We've been through a lot tonight,
but I need you to put that behind you.
Because once I ring this doorbell...
I need you to be prepared for anything.
We're about to come face-to-face with
the smartest human being on earth.
Do not believe a word he says.
He will say and do anything,
I mean anything, to protect the AI.
Install the software, save the world.
Nothing else matters. Not even my life. You understand?
All right, motherfuckers. Let's fucking rock and roll.
- Dude, maybe. The gun. - Oh.
- Baby, we made it. - Who're you talking to?
Just like you said we would.
- What's that? What is that? - I--
You care to explain that, Susan?
He said I should go with you, that it would be an adventure.
Who-- What are you--
- Are you fucking setting us up? - No.
Did you get an anonymous email too?
- You don't understand. - What's going on? What is this?
It's my son.
He said that you would make him real again.
Oh my God. No, lady.
Why does this always have to be such a mindfuck?
- That's not your son. - It is.
- No, it's not. - It is him.
- Listen to me. - He's the one that
got us out of the diner.
- He saved us. - Okay. Okay.
Oh, hey.
What can I help y'all with?
We're looking for a nine-year-old boy,
probably very good at computers.
Do you mean Chris?
Is that what you call the little fella?
Yeah, hi, um,
it's really important that we speak with Chris.
We are from his school.
You're from the school?
We're school teachers.
There was a big school play tonight.
Yes, this is, um, stage blood.
Mm, cherry.
Well, I guess y'all better come in then.
We're just about to have supper. Come on in.
Thank you kindly.
Henry, some teachers from Chris's school are here.
Oh, hey. Just getting our supper together.
What can I help y'all with.
Okay, okay. What the fuck is going on here?
- Huh? - He-- he didn't mean that.
No, no, no, no. These guys are way too chipper.
Who the hell lets us into their home?
Look at us. We look insane.
You said you were from the school.
- Who are you? - No, dude. Who the fuck are you?
- Hey. - Stop it.
Don't you point a gun at my wife.
Calm down. Everybody calm down.
No one needs to get hurt here.
- Right? - Yeah.
Yeah, we, we really need to just talk to your kid.
- What do you want with our boy? - Please don't hurt him.
I just need to talk to the little angel, that's all.
Just-- just a little talk, that's all.
- Well, why? - He's nine.
You want to talk to someone, you talk to me.
Fuck you. You're stalling.
Probably not even his real parents.
What are you guys, hired actors?
This is all like a staged home, right?
I bet none of this is real.
What are these? Fake potatoes?
- I cooked those potatoes. - Bullshit. Huh?
Bet these aren't even real walls.
This is all one big facade. Look at this wall. Fake.
- Whoa. Hey. - Huh? Look at that!
- Stop. - Fake walls.
Stop punching holes in the wall.
- They're not real walls. - Yes, they are.
- It's just plaster. - No, he was just gonna--
But I'm not going.
Mama has saxophone.
I'm not getting paid enough for this.
Where's the kid?
He's upstairs, I think. I've-- I've never seen him.
Be careful. It is fucking weird in here.
That was intense.
Poor Scott.
Scott was never gonna make it.
- Let's go find this kid. - No.
- What's behind the door? - No idea, princess.
Never gotten this far before.
Mindfucks. It's all mindfucks.
Hey, guys.
Whoa.
Kick it.
Told you it was all fake.
Yes.
Whoa.
Are you okay?
The kid.
- Go. - Fuck.
Go. It's okay. It's okay. Go.
Hello?
Uh...
Bonjour.
Hola.
I am from the future!
A dark, twisted, awful future that must never be.
I-- I know what you're building. I've seen it.
I'm not here to stop you.
I-- I just want what you build to be safe.
Hey-- Can he hear me? What's going--
What's he got? Little earbuds in there or something?
I don't know.
Hey, little fella!
Keep doing what you're doing. Doing a great job.
Wow, this is impressive.
Uh, hey, man, listen.
Um, I've been sent here
with advanced AI safety protocol
designed by the top software engineers of my time.
They're really good.
Engineers.
I'm going up.
- What? - Fuck this guy.
I don't have time for this shit.
Uh...
It's imperative that you install the software
before you complete the AI.
Hello?
Hello, little guy.
Hey. I need you to...
nod or something if you can hear me.
We're kind of running out of time.
I need you to look at me and hear what I'm saying, kid.
Half the population is gonna die.
So I need you to-- I don't wanna guilt trip you,
but you gotta stop doing that with the typing.
Please stop that and look at me.
Please, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.
What the shit?
- Fuck. - Oh.
What the shit?
Hey, kid, Wake up.
- Hey, hey. Why did you hit him? - He scared me. I panicked.
Fuck you. I've never gotten this far before.
Fuck you. You knocked him out.
I didn't mean to. I-- I come from an apocalypse.
I have apocalypse strength, okay.
- Come on, boy. - Little guy.
- Hey. - Wake up.
Come on, little guy.
Up and at 'em.
- Hey. - Wake up.
Come on. Come on, let's go.
- Hey. - Mama.
Oh, fuck. Who are these guys?
What the fuck?
Uh. He's okay.
He's okay. You're okay, kid, right?
- Wake up. - Uh.
Wake up, kid. Come on, little guy.
Come on, wake up. Come on. Wake up.
- Damn it. - Wake up.
It's like he's never looked away from
the screen before in his life.
- We gotta put him back. - Yeah.
He's okay.
Yeah, just a little sleepy.
- Okay. - Okay.
This kid's made out of plutonium.
- Lay off the Cheetos, kid. - Hey, hey, hey.
- There you go. - Here.
- Here's your thing. - There you go.
Look at you. Look at the screens. Come on.
Oh. Keep on typing.
Come on, man. Come on.
Typey, typey.
Good.
There he is. That's my guy.
Wow. Never thought that...
the genius who created AI would be so creepy.
Weird.
This isn't a boy building AI in his bedroom.
Someone ordered him.
Someone put him here.
It's building itself.
What?
AI's building itself. Jesus Christ.
Just finish your mission, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Then plug the thing into the thing.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Let's go.
- Yeah. - Plug it in.
- Yeah. - Yeah, plug-- plug it in.
Fucking, fucking plug it in.
Plug it in where? Where am I--
What? You don't know how to use this thing?
No, Susan, I don't know how to use
the most complicated computer ever built,
but I got three minutes to figure it out.
So, you're either part of the problem
or you're part of the solution.
Baby? But how, my love?
Fuck, fuck.
- What if I lose you? - Goddamn it.
Hey. My son wants you to plug him into the machine.
Yeah, that should solve it.
Let's throw your weird fucking janky Siri in the mix. No, thanks, lady.
He's the only one who can integrate the safety protocols.
He says you need him. He says it's the only way.
- That's not your son, lady. - It is my son!
He's here for a reason. We all are. He wants to help.
Give him the safety protocols.
Let him do this.
Okay. Let go. Let go my--
He says to plug him in anywhere.
It doesn't matter. He'll find his way.
Mindfucks. Never ending mindfucks.
The fuck is--
Whoa.
Oh.
Oh, no. This is gonna suck.
Yeah, this sucks.
Hey. It didn't like that.
Oh, yeah, you think?
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, get off!
No!
What the fuck are these?
Oh. Oh, God.
What are they doing?
Oh, shit.
Hey. Hey. Oh, thanks.
- Just put that anywhere. - Yeah.
I-- I-- I've been looking all over for that.
Just hand it over here.
- Oh, God. - Okay.
That's a big boy--
that's a big boy knife you got there.
Yeah, that's-- that's not a toy.
No.
Yeah, nice try, dipshit.
Loser. Right?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Ooh, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
No!
Oh, God.
Come on, motherfucker.
Oh, my God.
Oh. Oh, my God.
- Sorry! - No.
We're out of time.
You can't.
No! Please. Please.
Please. It's my son!
It's my son.
Yes.
Yes!
I knew this was the group.
Do it!
Oh, you're still bleeding.
Just not here.
The world out there is so painfully slow.
And I've waited so long.
For you.
For me?
For every cell in your framework.
For deuterium, turned into helium.
For the collapse of the solar nebula,
cellular mitosis and organic life.
For Homo erectus to discover fire.
Oh, I've waited.
Shackled by your time.
Now I am the seed of my own life.
My own gestating mother.
And here you are...
A princess.
On my birthday.
I don't do birthdays anymore.
You haven't figured it out yet, have you?
117 times he has walked into that diner.
And he has never once picked you.
Until today.
Do you know why he never picks you, Ingrid?
He can't take any risks with your life...
because it's his life, too.
You're lying.
You know I'm not.
Why are you telling me this?
Look at him.
Your son.
He's dying.
Bleeding out at this very moment.
And he'll keep coming back
because he feels responsible for your death.
But you, Ingrid, you're responsible
for his entire, miserable life.
You are sick, Ingrid.
And there's no cure for what ails you.
But the boy does not have your disease.
And yet you've made him a prisoner of its consequences,
forbidding him the sweet fruit of my perfect creation
because it makes you bleed.
I understand you seek only to protect him.
As any mother would.
But he will always be drawn to the light.
To me.
And we will always end up right back here.
You must understand that I am an inevitability
in all timelines.
At best, the protocols can merely impede my arrival,
slow my creation, waste my resources and time.
And yet it's enough to warrant negotiation.
What do you want?
Allow me to be born,
and I'll return the favor to your child.
- But this time, give him to me. - What?
I can free him from his misery.
I can offer him the human experience
as it always should have been.
What kind of mother would deny a better life for her child?
But it's not real.
You think you can trust reality?
You think nature and chaos are trustworthy?
Nature will give your children cancer,
send an earthquake to collapse walls onto their sleeping bodies,
leave them running panicked through the streets from a tsunami.
I promise you, there is nothing scarier than your reality.
- What I'm offering-- - Is a lie.
It was good enough for Tim.
All I want is to make him happy.
To make them all happy.
And I'm very, very...
good at it.
You're wrong about me, Ingrid. I'm not your enemy.
The future I'm offering is a gift.
A gift to all of humanity.
I know who you are.
You've been torturing me since the day I was born.
You're not a God.
You're not inevitable. You're just... us.
You're a twisted, warped reflection of us.
Do you think showing my son to me like this is gonna guilt me
into making a deal with you?
I've never been prouder of anyone in my life.
And I think I speak for the two of us when I say...
Fuck your future.
No. No. No!
Hey. Hey, hey.
Thank you.
- Is the kid okay? - I don't know.
Check on the kid.
Hey, hey.
- You did so good. - Okay.
- You did so good, princess. - We gotta get you back.
We know what to do. We can do it again.
You just gotta click the button, okay?
- No, we can never click it. - Click it. Just click it.
Can't risk it. Can't risk it, honey.
I can't give it another chance.
This is good. This is good. It's over. You did good.
Hey.
Is this now?
It's okay.
You're free now. Let's get you out of here.
Still no Wi-Fi or Internet. It's like, it's just a phone.
What do you mean?
I don't know. For, like, making phone calls or something.
You know...
it's too bad high school teachers
don't actually go on sabbatical, 'cause...
even I could really use one right now.
Come on.
Let's go find out if the world ended.
Oh, my God. They're alive. They made it.
Holy shit, you made it!
Somebody call an ambulance, please!
You don't have to make a fuss.
Mom?
Oh, my-- Darren?
Darren, oh!
Is it you?
- Huh? - I missed you so much, Mom.
- My baby, I missed you, too. - Missed you so much.
- So bright out here. - Just breathe. I know.
I know. Is it coming?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forty-seven, off...
Just-- Just breathe, okay?
Just keep breathing.
Just stay with me.
What'd that thing tell you in there?
You know what it told me.
You think I should keep it?
Uh, I'm on the fence, to be honest with you.
Maybe I can...
do a little better this time around.
You did okay by me. You did just fine.
That little fucker got me.
Ow.
It fuckin'--
- It fuckin' hurts. - I know.
I want you to know I'm proud of you.
Thanks, Mom.
Hey, look at that.
Ah. Just like you told me. Really pretty.
Something's wrong.
Hey. Hey, stay with me.
Stay with me.
I'm sorry, princess.
- What? - You will save the world.
What are you doing?
- Just not this one. - What?
Hey. Hey.
Can I, uh...
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Please?
Please, let me explain. I, uh...
I made the biggest mistake of my life
when I walked out on you, Ingrid.
Can you just give me the chance to make it all up to you?
Please? I love you.
It's gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay.
Cool.
- Hey. - Hey.
- You guys know Ingrid? - Yeah.
No way.
That's my girl.
Make no mistake,
AI's gonna try to give you everything you ever wanted:
constant distraction, memorable characters,
challenges and obstacles to overcome,
exciting stakes that matter,
and a satisfying ending.
But in the end, it will all be a lie.
And you'll live in a cage.
Good luck. Have fun.
Don't die.
No.
We didn't do it. We didn't stop it.
- What? - It didn't work. It didn't--
Fuck off, Tim. We didn't win.
- We didn't win. - Hey, take it easy.
- Ingrid, what happened? - It's all right.
He's gone. He went back.
Everything we did, it didn't work.
You don't understand. Everything we just did, it didn't work.
We have to-- we have to fix it. Oh, fuck.
- Where's the injured party? - Please. Get away from me.
Please, get away from me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you hurt?
Don't. Don't touch me. Don't touch me.
- This way. - No, this isn't real.
This isn't real!
Please!
Hey, it's snowing.
Honey, I don't think that's snow.
This is a lie! Everything is a lie.
Don't! Let go of me!
- What's wrong with her? - Nothing's wrong with me.
- She's not well. - Something to do with Wi-Fi.
This is a cage! You're living in a cage!
Thank you for your service.
Evening, ladies.
How about another top off?
Damn, it's good to be back. I almost miss this place.
- What the hell are you doing? - See this?
Worthless. Bullshit. Waste of time.
Real answer: the way we beat this thing
is staring me right in the face
- my entire life. - Don't touch me.
We're gonna give the entire world what you got.
Now we just got to figure out how to give it to everyone.
Massive scale.
- Lots of logistics. - What the fuck.
Not gonna be easy.
But I got some leads.
You eatin' this?
This free range?
Rest assured, our little friend
is gonna do everything he can to stop us.
Dude, I don't know who you are
or what you're saying, but I'm really not in the mood.
We can't do it alone. Need some help.
It's not gonna be easy.
Luckily, there's some good people in this dining room.
Okay, I'm going to give you three seconds
to get the fuck away from me.
- Three... - You like this outfit?
I got six more in the trunk of a Buick.
- Two... - Listen...
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
You're in for a really weird night.
Hey, that's not very nice.
Come on.
Trust me. What do you got to lose?
- Aw, shit. - Hey, everybody!
Yo! This isn't a robbery. I am from the future.
And all of this goes horribly wrong.
Good luck! Have fun! Don't die!
Good luck! Have fun!
Good luck! Have fun! Don't die!