[breathes deeply]
[groans]
Hmm.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me,
Mary Shelley.
Author of Frankenstein.
I know everyone loves it,
but, darlings, that wasn't the half of it.
What I wanted to write...
what I needed to say,
I couldn't.
I couldn't even think it.
And I got a cancer of the brain
and I couldn't write at all, so I died.
[inhales deeply]
Immediately, I awoke to find myself here...
wherever the fuck here is.
[scoffs]
And here I've stayed for centuries,
trying to find some way to get this tumor,
this dream, this...
story out of my head.
Darlings, something is cracking.
The words are beginning to come.
Is it a ghost story?
A horror story?
Or most frightening of all...
a love story?
It begins with her...
[jazz music playing]
[Mary Shelley] Ida.
Yes, I'll call her Ida, for now,
till she finds her own name.
She's trying to be good.
Trying to be quiet.
But she's in hell.
Darlings, look, look. Something...
Something's cracking inside her too.
And in that crack, I suppose, I...
I could slip in.
A possession.
Two minds instead of one.
Yes,
I think that may be the only way
to get this monstrous story told.
Here comes the motherfucking bride.
[laughing maniacally]
[woman 1] Ida, where were you, on another planet?
We're celebrating over here.
[man 1] Ida and... and Mable, give us a kiss.
Do it. Do it.
Come on. Show us how to do it, sweetheart.
-[man 2] Yeah. -[patrons cheer]
[man 1] I'm just trying to get my money's worth!
I just can't stand to see a woman do a man's job.
You-You know what it takes to open up a...
a tight little oyster?
-A little mussel. -A little mussel!
[patrons laughing]
[man 1] I know this place.
We gotta go there tonight.
Yeah, I can't get Clyde away from this place.
No one's going home. Everyone's there tonight.
[Clyde] All right. All right. Here we go.
Show them your boots.
These are my new boots.
-[man 1] Wow. -Brand-new.
[man 2] Now, those look expensive.
[Clyde] Baby, that's what you get
for being such a good girl.
-Come here, red boots. -No.
Have an oyster on me.
No. Those things do nothin' for me.
I've got my own pussycat.
You can never have too many pussycats.
-[man 2] You can't, no! -Come on.
Excuse me. Can I get a "yes, please"?
[woman 2] I don't think Ida likes oysters.
[man 3] Come on.
Ida, can I get a "yes, please"?
Yes, please.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome. You're so wel...
Ooh. Oh.
Where'd it go?
[man 2] Meow.
Come here. Yeah, come here.
Put it in my mouth.
Good girl.
That's what I'm talking about.
That is what I'm talking about.
-[burps] -[laughs]
-[retches] -[patrons groan]
[man 1] My fucking shirt.
Save some for me, huh?
Duplicity.
Cunning!
Cunning. Foxiness!
Fraud!
[mutters, groans]
-[Clyde] What's she saying? -[man 1] I have no idea.
Darling, wake up.
[Clyde] Mable, is she okay?
What's the problem?
[chuckles] Sorry, I just...
Ida, are you... Are you okay?
-Yeah. -[Clyde] Ida, what's going on?
-Oysters, am I right? -Yeah.
[grunts]
-[man 2] I don't under... -Oh.
Stuck sick in the ground with a mouth full of dirt.
You've got to sit sidesaddle
to avoid ruining your prospects.
[man 1] Whoa. Jesus. All right.
[sighs] You, sir.
You'd fuck a man if he'd have you.
[Clyde] We're doing English accents now. I see.
No shame in that. I learnt that in the graveyard.
My husband, Percy, was always fondling Keats,
but I had his heart in my writing table,
wrapped in a shroud,
and believe me, I know what made it hot!
[screaming]
-[moans] -[patrons gasp]
Oh, yes!
Daughter of a hot-chop,
full-tilt, hell-for-leather, snuffed-out...
Oh, God, what's happening?
[panting]
What the fuck are you doing, handjobbing under the table?
[man 1, man 2 laughing]
You know, you could always say "I would prefer not to."
-Melville. -Hey. Hey.
-Come on. -What is she talking about?
-Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. -[man 1] Ida, stop, please!
Lupino is sitting right there.
-Mr. Lupino. -[man 1] Easy. Easy, Ida.
There's your real monster.
-Let's go back to our meal. -[Mable] Ida.
Watch your tongues around this one, ladies.
Come on down. Baby, baby. Come down.
I'm the canary!
Gagged for decades,
but the dead know all the dirty stories.
-Anyone up for a song? -Sorry.
-The cat had my tongue. -[man 1] Ida, come down.
Feet in concrete! Poisoned meatballs!
[man 1] Grab her. Just grab her.
Carbonara with a little touch of arsenic.
What, are you gonna cut my tongue out too?
Even the commissioner can't quiet the dead.
Big-time mob boss.
-Hey. -No, it can't. No. I'm...
-What the hell was that? -I'm sorry.
What do you got, some kind of death wish, Ida?
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
[Clyde] Talking like that in front of Lupino.
I don't know what's happening.
-Are you okay? -What the fuck is going on?
Gentlemen, I have an unpleasant tinglish sensation.
Frothing, feeling itchy, concupiscent, satyric,
loaded, abounding,
which is quite hard to bear, as you can imagine.
-[man 1] She's hysterical. -A bee in my bonnet...
-[grunts] -Enough.
James! Enough. Enough.
Yeah, fair enough. It was...
I mean, "bee in my bonnet." Pathetic. Convention. Par.
Wont. Won't you hit me again for that one?
-Go ahead. -[Clyde] Ida, stop. Stop.
Gentlemen, I'm full to brimming.
What I mean to say is that there is a pearl in my oyster.
[Clyde] This is some kind of ghost.
Yeah, no, that's good. [grunts]
-Ida, snap out of it! -[Clyde] Enough!
[grunting]
Wow.
[chuckles]
My eyes are overawed.
Wow, you've got the kind of cock
looks like a belly button.
Absolutely disappears behind the cullions.
Does it get bigger when it's eager?
[James, Ida grunt]
James. Christ, don't you see? She's possessed.
[sputters]
-Go, get a doctor. -My mouth!
-Get a priest. -My mouth!
My work! Labor! Work!
Thin, fatless, spindly, spindly, gaunt.
Take, for example, "Recollections of Italy."
Or, to put a finer point on it,
"Narrative of a Tour around the Lake of Geneva."
But then, I know. Yes, I know!
Of course, there is my tome of horror...
Frankenstein.
A paucity, a poverty, crumbs from a stifled mind.
And they are gobbled, gulped, scoffed, wolfed...
What is... What is this?
What is this? Who are you?
Darlings, be warned.
[ominous music plays]
A sequel is coming.
Disobedient!
-Ungovernable! -Ida.
Everything will change.
I have a lot more to say. Are you ready?
Ida, you're scaring me.
[both grunt]
[dramatic rock music plays]
Ida!
[Mary Shelley] Mmm, my darlings.
A revolution is coming.
If Frankenstein frightened you,
my next story will make you stand up and yell,
"Help!"
[newspaper vendor] Sir, you! Ma'am!
Get your papers here!
Grab your daily news!
Grab your paper!
Uh, sir.
-Could you kindly direct me... -[groans]
-...to Rivers... -No. No.
[groans] No. Stay away from me. Oh, God...
[footsteps running away]
-[bell rings] -[footsteps approach]
May I help you?
Yes. I'm here to see, uh, Dr. Euphronious.
It's a matter of some urgency.
My name is Frankenstein, ma'am.
My father's name.
Would you please remove your hat?
Yes, of course. Excuse me.
Where were you born, Mr. Frankenstein?
"Born"?
Created. Reinvigorated.
Ingolstadt, Bavaria.
Around 1820?
[chuckles] 1819.
It's 1936, sir.
[chuckles]
That would make you well over a hundred years old.
That is true.
I... I don't know how to explain that.
Would you please remove your cravat?
Oh. Well, I...
I... I'd really rather not.
[skeptical woman] Why's that?
[sighs]
-I'm sorry. -I, uh...
I don't mean to frighten you.
I'd like to run a few tests.
[Frankenstein] Please, would it be possible--
Excuse me, ma'am--
to have an audience with the doctor?
-Which doctor? -Dr. Euphronious.
Author of Event Horizon and the Birth of Singularity,
and also The Art of Reinvigoration.
The books. I... I wrote quite a few times.
I have never received a response.
I'm Euphronious, darling.
Cornelia.
You see, I publish with just the C. It's simpler.
[Frankenstein] Oh.
Uh, lovely to meet you, Mr. Frankenstein.
Oh.
[Euphronious sighs]
Uh... [grunts]
I apologize for the smell.
[shushes] Breathe.
[breathe deeply]
Hold it.
I've read all of your work on reinvigoration.
It's brilliant what you've done
with field mice and moles.
And cats.
-[Frankenstein] Really? -Mmm.
Unpublished.
I ripped them out.
I am a subscriber to your quarterly.
[Euphronious] Hmm.
Oh.
[Frankenstein] Huh?
[Euphronious] Is that painful?
I don't know. I'm used to it.
Oh!
[laughing]
[sighs]
[both grunt]
[Euphronious] I'm thrilled you found me.
Ah!
I... I'd like to invite you to stay here at The Institute.
For observation.
Observation?
[Euphronious] Yes.
That's not really why I came.
Uh-huh? Why did you come?
I'm looking for...
an intercourse.
-"An intercourse"? -Yes.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know how much you have read about me.
Oh, please, sit down.
I've read exhaustively about Dr. Frankenstein's early work.
And his monster.
-"His monster." -I'm... I'm sorry.
Is that inaccurate?
Doctor,
there is a whole garden...
of pleasures which I have not yet had...
the honor of experiencing.
Are you referring to carnal pleasures?
Among other things.
A relationship.
[Euphronious] Ah.
A communion.
Uh-huh.
-A conjugal relationship. -Yes.
A bride.
Yes.
How exactly can I help you with that?
I don't run a mail-order catalog
-for fallen women. [chuckles] -No, of course not.
But...
[Euphronious] Oh.
Are you asking me to...
create?
-To... -Reinvigorate.
A bride for you?
Yes.
From the body of a dead woman?
Yes.
Jesus.
I don't mean to be disrespectful.
[scoffs]
Is this about sex, Frank?
'Cause I'm sure there are easier ways of getting sex.
-[door opens] -[gentle piano music playing]
[screaming]
-Greta, I'm with a patient. -Excuse me, please.
-[bang] -Oh, my God.
-[sighs] -Mmm.
Doctor, this is about loneliness.
[Euphronious] Hmm.
Do you have any experience with it?
For me, it's agony.
I... [chuckles]
Stay here at The Institute.
[sighs]
I'm curious.
[footsteps approaching]
-Good grief! You again. -Uh...
It's a minor miracle you didn't poke my eye out.
An oxymoron.
-[actress] Excuse me? -Oh, Ronnie.
-That's awfully good. -[Ronnie] Another one.
Are you in poor health, or some kind of idiot savant?
How many was that now?
-You're some kind of genius. -"You're some kind of genius."
You are properly ridiculous.
[Ronnie and Frankenstein] And you're killing me.
This may go over like a lead balloon
but here goes.
["I've Got a Feeling I'm Falling" playing]
[theatergoer] Would you please keep it down?
[tense music plays]
[Euphronious] This is not going to work, Frank.
What, we're gonna go
digging up bodies in potter's field?
I mean, obviously, a medical cadaver
is not an option.
And I really don't understand the idea
behind using pieces from many different dead bodies.
What was the thinking there?
And sewing them together? It's grotesque.
Dr. Frankenstein's got some sort of fetish.
I think that he was trying to create something...
beautiful.
Well, that's ironic.
[stammers] I apologize.
And even if we had one complete cadaver, what?
We're gonna find you a plucky redhead?
We're gonna find you a dead, plucky redhead for a tryst.
Tall. Perky titties.
Put in your requests now.
Maybe I should make one for myself.
A gorgeous husband.
With a huge... intellect.
This is an emergency!
SOS! Fire!
Fuck!
I'm so sorry.
I have been way too long without company.
Give me a break, Frank.
Everyone's lonely.
When we shook hands yesterday, for me,
that was the first time ever.
Oh.
How was it?
It was extraordinary.
You're welcome to stay on for observation.
No, I'm not gonna put you out on the street.
Stay a few days.
I'll take good care of you, obviously.
Please help me.
Well, what if she's monstrous or not what you want?
I will love her.
Scientifically, ethically, there's just a thousand things
that can go terribly wrong.
This... This is just... This is insane.
I thought you were a mad scientist.
[both laughing]
Aren't you curious?
[tense music plays]
[both grunting]
[wood thumping]
-Oh. Just leave it. -Sorry.
[Euphronious] Get her clothes off.
We're using the stellar remnant model.
I've harnessed the electricity from the streetlight,
and we're gonna need to back up the voltage
and short it so we get a massive amperage.
And lights go out at about 5:00.
We need to access the aorta and the solar plexus. Go.
Don't have much time.
I need the left-facing electro-nodes.
And we will oppose the gravity reaction
with neutron degeneracy pressure
and short-range repulsive neutron-neutron interactions.
Assuming wave-particle duality,
we'll need to asymptotically approach
the integral value of density.
And I'm not sure what that would do to the graphing,
but I have used it once before, and I'll use it again.
Now, the iodine, where is...
Uh, she's too beautiful.
Oh.
You're right, Frank. She is beautiful.
Well, I think it might be better to stop now.
Start again tomorrow.
-Oh, but-- -[knocking on door]
-[Euphronious] Yes? -Doctor?
-Is everything okay in there? -[doorknob rattles]
Yes, yes. Everything's fine. Not to worry.
-Doctor? Are you all right? -Yes.
I thought I heard an intruder.
-Everything's fine. -Are you sure?
-Not to worry. -I heard people upstairs.
-Are you against your will-- -Okay. Thank you, Greta.
I can't keep a dead body sitting in my office.
This is it, Frank. It's now or never.
-[machinery whirring] -[liquids dripping]
[Euphronious] Initiating the IV.
Electricity on three.
Frank.
Frank!
[Frank] Oh, yeah.
[groaning]
-My nerves. Sorry. -Frank.
It's my nerves.
-Take a breath. -[breathes shakily]
-To life. -To life.
[electricity humming]
[Euphronious gasps]
[electricity crackling]
[Frank gasps]
[groans]
[heartbeat thumping]
Your bride, Frank.
[Euphronious sighs]
-[coughing] -[Frank] Oh.
[laughing]
Bride?
Helpmate. Helpmeet.
Lady. Wife.
[breathes heavily] Where...
Oh, Jesus.
Did we get a bit wild with the absinthe last night?
[sucks teeth] Liquor sick. Dirty pool.
Attention! On point!
I think I better get myself home.
-Yes. Okay. Where do you live? -[Frank clears throat]
[The Bride] Uh...
I got a cousin, McBride.
Yeah. Yeah, that's ringing a bell.
[snorts]
Ring my bell.
My blare. My blast. My yowl.
[blows raspberry]
-Oh. Ooh. -[The Bride retches]
[Frank] Oh, dear.
No. I'll be all right.
I just need a good breakfast. That's all.
Yep, breezy. Child's play. Duck soup.
Duck soup.
-[grunts] -Oh. Oh.
-Here, here. Come. Give me-- -Get your hands off.
I'm very sorry.
May I have a look at that leg?
I'm a doctor. Nothing to be frightened of.
I've heard that before.
Right.
This, it doesn't hurt?
It's not bad. No. [exhales heavily]
Bite. Bleed. Burn. Chafe. [sniffs]
Cramp. Fester. Pinch. Pound.
[Frank] Incredible.
Sorry.
I can't put the pieces together here.
I've got nothing.
[Frank] It looks to me
as though you had some kind of an accident.
-An accident? -[Frank] Mmm.
Uh... Why don't you rest here tonight?
Please? It's late.
I would be more than happy to share my bed.
[clicks tongue] An accident, huh?
Ha!
Let's... Let's have a look at this leg. Hmm?
Frank, just give us a little privacy.
[The Bride whistles] Skedaddle.
This doesn't hurt you, this leg?
[upbeat music plays]
[The Bride] What's the matter with him?
-[Euphronious] Who? -The man.
-Frank? -Mm-hmm.
[Euphronious] You mean his face?
[The Bride] His face?
[Euphronious] I thought that's what you meant.
No.
Why'd you lock the door?
Does "bride" mean "married"?
[Euphronious] Um, no, it means you're getting married.
-[The Bride] To him? -Frank. Yes.
Well, frankly, no. [coughs]
I don't remember him.
[Euphronious] Mmm.
Is that from the accident?
[Euphronious] He's not so bad.
-[The Bride] He's not so bad? -[Euphronious] No.
Well, why don't you marry him?
Mate. Mate. Breed. Breeder. Groom.
[coughing]
[groans]
[banging]
[breathing heavily]
Who is it? Who's there?
Mary.
Mary?
Mary who?
[Mary Shelley] "Mary," mother's given name,
plus "Wollstonecraft," grandfather's name.
Plus "Godwin," father's name,
plus "Shelley," husband's name.
Mary Shelley. Ring a bell?
Mary Shelley.
I know that voice.
[Mary Shelley] Yes, darling.
You're my monster. [cackling]
Well, what's my name?
I can't remember.
Well, that's exactly what we're going to have to sort out.
Do you know it? Can you tell me?
I would prefer not to.
[gasps]
[breathes heavily]
[Frank snoring]
-Fuck that fucking pig fucker! -Fucking shit!
-Come on! Come on! Come on! -Oh, my God, my eye! Fuck!
Fuck!
-[groans] -I'm sorry!
-I didn't know it was you. -Damn! My eye!
Anyway... Oh, damn it!
Can I... Can I take a look?
-[The Bride sighs] -[stammers]
-[The Bride] No. -Uh...
-I'm Frank. -Oh, fuck off, Frank.
[both breathing heavily]
Will you let me see?
How did you get in here? Huh?
-She locked the door. -Through the window.
[playful music plays]
[grunts] Slow down, mate. Shipmate. Helpmate.
Stalemate. Amalgamate. Imitate. Decimate.
Transubstantiate. [burps]
'Scuse me.
Sublimate. Consummate. Checkmate.
Aye-aye, mate.
You have an amazing vocabulary.
[door opens]
Oh.
Well...
what happened here?
I see the crystalloid solution has stained your skin.
Didn't anticipate that.
So I'd love to run some tests today.
I'm excited.
I would prefer not to.
[Euphronious] Oh.
Are you starting to recognize things a little?
Get your feet on the ground? After the accident?
Well, try your eggs. Have some toast and jam.
It's delicious.
[clicks tongue] I don't know. I would prefer not to.
[Euphronious] Um...
We could look together at getting you some new clothes.
That might be fun.
I would prefer not to.
[Euphronious] Is that Eliot?
-Um, Hawthorne? -"Bartleby."
[Euphronious] Oh.
Well, we seem to have invigorated
a very well-read monster here, Frank.
Quoting Hawthorne at the breakfast table.
Hawthorne? He was speaking for the naughty girls.
-Mmm. -[Greta] Oh.
No, no.
Melville, darling.
-Ah, Melville. -Yeah.
I've laid out a very beautiful breakfast for you.
I'm not sure what the problem is here.
Have I upset you somehow?
A lifetime of lady lying.
It's the scarcity.
And deprivation makes a hungry cunt.
Ache. Covet. Crave. Yen. Yen. Yen.
-No. Stop, stop. -Yen. Yen. Yen.
-Stop that immediately. -I would prefer not to.
Well, what would you like to do, then?
I would like for you to unlock the fucking door,
'cause I would like to go outside.
Blustery. Gusty. Alfresco.
I'm pretty sure I don't live here, lady.
Let me out.
No. I'm afraid that's impossible.
Remarkable.
[chuckles]
[rock music plays]
[both grunting]
-On the rail. Move it. -High as fuck!
-Tall! Fuck all! -Pass me the umbrella.
Give me the umbre-- Oof.
[rock music fades out]
["Cooking Breakfast for the One I Love" plays]
Believe it or not, he had polio as a boy,
and they didn't know if he would be able to walk.
Ronnie Edwin Reed.
And still one of his legs is shorter than the other.
He has special shoes made
so that his feet are even when he's dancing.
Is that your kink?
What?
One leg shorter than the other.
[chuckles] What, is this it? Is it, Frankie?
Yeah, this place looks right up my alley.
Alley cat. Hot trot. Hell for leather. [laughs]
Come on!
["Wrong Flower" plays]
Wanna dance?
I don't dance.
[The Bride] Yeah, you do.
["The Lake" plays]
♪ This book is sacred to me ♪
[The Bride] Come on!
♪ I write what I please ♪
I know them! The dance moves, I know them all!
Come on! I know them all!
♪ A wet, ungenial summer And incessant rain ♪
♪ I've got a cold in my head ♪
♪ We take the train to the lake ♪
♪ Some crooked feet and sore ♪
["The Lake" fades out]
["Things Are Looking Up" fades in, plays]
["Things Are Looking Up" fades out]
["Even It Out" plays]
What sailor gave you those tatties?
Amazing.
Shit.
You like that, sister?
Come here.
["Wanna Sip" plays]
♪ I wanna love you But you're not making it easy ♪
You want another?
[chuckles] I've had enough.
That's my wife.
Yeah!
Oh, yeah? Well, you can't keep the table all night.
♪ I wanna love you but it's not easy ♪
♪ Sometime my head bends ♪
♪ I kinda got hooked on your scent ♪
♪ A funny trick, a handshake I wanna peek, I wanna sip ♪
[grunting and moaning]
♪ I show a funny trick, my handshake Giving me a peek, giving me a sip ♪
-[The Bride] Violence. -[dancer laughs]
Violence. Below-the-belt violence.
Violence down the dark strip-street.
Violence. Fuck-like-a-jackhammer violence.
Hate-your-own-mother violence.
Violence!
Gangsters. Lupino's gangsters.
You can tell Mr. Vito Lupino
I don't fuck fat men unless I want to.
Violence!
-Violence! -[dancer laughs]
[both grunting]
♪ I wanna peek, I wanna sip ♪
♪ I show a funny trick, my handshake ♪
Knife violence! Wife violence!
Fuck you, bitch!
[man] I'd fuck her over.
It's like an apple.
No, thank you.
Good night, gentlemen.
[assaulters laughing]
-Come on, baby. -Sorry. Sorry, man.
-Come on. Don't. -Safe sex. Ultra-safe sex.
-Baleful, baneful sex. -You don't wanna play?
-Come on. Play with me. -Pound me. Hound me.
-White-knuckle sex. -Big man doesn't wanna play?
Come on. Nothing?
It's okay. Don't worry about him.
-[assaulter 1 laughs] Sorry. -Come on, pussycat.
-I'm gonna make you meow. -Sorry, big man.
-[Frank grunts] -[The Bride gasps]
-Frankie! -Fucking pussy.
-No! -You like that?
You like to play rough. You like to play rough.
-Pound me. Hound me. -Hello.
-Take her. -White-knuckle...
That's all mine. I got you, baby.
-I got you. It's all mine. -[The Bride grunting]
I want a bite!
Yeah? I want a bite!
-[grunts] Fuck! -[The Bride exclaims]
-Get her legs. -Hold this fucking bitch down.
-No! No! -I'm gonna fuck you.
-Fuck you. Fuck you. -[Frank roars]
[both grunting]
-[woman screams] -No! No! No!
[both grunting]
-[growls] -No, no, no! No, no, no--
[breathes heavily, grunting]
[gasps]
[both breathing heavily]
-[camera shutter clicking] -[gasps]
[footsteps running away]
[The Bride] Come on. We got to get out of here!
That wasn't me. I don't touch drink.
I play violin.
Oh, God. Oh, fuck. Oh, no.
God! [breathing heavily]
Go. I don't want to get you into any more trouble.
Go.
-Oh, God. -[police sirens in distance]
You'll be okay. Go.
Go. Get out of here! Go!
What are you doing? Go home!
You do not want to get caught up with me.
People love a monster. There is gonna be a mob.
Really.
I've been through this before. It is terrible.
Go. Go. Get out of here. Go home.
I don't know where I live.
[pensive music plays]
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me, Mary.
Mary who?
"Mary who"?
Aren't you going to "Mary" Frankenstein?
[cackling]
I can't breathe. [breathes heavily]
I can't remember my name.
Martha? Winifred? Constance. Jane.
Bride of King Kong.
[sniffs] Ooh, "Queen Kong."
Mrs. Jekyll. Mrs. Hyde.
Mrs. Bride of Frankenstein.
It's not quite right, is it?
I can't breathe.
You're being smothered. We all are.
Brain fog. Brain-dead. Pray for a brain attack.
Find your name, girl.
[Mary Shelley] Resistance to tyranny...
-is obedience to God. -[The Bride] Tell me my name.
What's my name? Tell me my name.
-[Frank] It's okay. -[The Bride grunting]
-It's okay. It's okay. -[breathing heavily]
It's okay.
Okay. Okay, get your hands off.
[train whistle blows]
There's no air in here.
Oh, I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't breathe. It was like I was buried alive.
I've had that dream.
You're okay.
What happened?
You don't remember?
I remember.
-[dogs barking] -[whistles blowing]
[officer 1] Anything up front?
[police clamoring]
Come. Come. Come.
Huh?
-What is it? Is this for us? -Come!
[officer 2] Check the next one.
Come! Okay. [shushes]
It has nothing to do with you.
[officer 1] He was part donkey, part man.
-What are you talking about? -With a huge donkey dick.
[officer 2 laughs]
[officer 1] And they said he pulled it out
and pissed on their bodies.
[officer 2] Oh, get outta here.
[breathes heavily]
I wish I would've seen that. [laughs]
[officer 2] You're twisted, you know that?
-[officers laughing] -[door closes]
-[officer 2] Is he down there? -[officer 3] Nothing here.
What is that?
Uh...
"Ronnie Reed"?
"Well, his wonderful black hair and soulful eyes
are enough to make any young girl adore him."
-You remember him? -No.
[train whistle blows]
Well, what kind of talkie star did I shine to?
I mean, before the accident. I can't...
I can't quite remember.
[stammers] Dietrich.
-"Dietrich"? -Mmm.
-Dietrich. -Mmm.
-Marlene Dietrich. Yeah. -Mmm.
[train container rattles]
"Don't you find respectable people terribly... dull?"
[The Bride sings lyrics to "Falling in Love Again"]
Oh! Button up your britches, girl.
[shushes] No, no, no. Shush.
-I can't help it. -No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no. Shush, shush, shush.
Wild greyhounds. Gunshot!
[officer 1] Who's in there?
-Shush, shush, shush. -[officer 1] Hey!
[gasping]
-[door opening] -[officer 1 breathing heavily]
-Hey! Hey! I see you. -Okay. Okay. Okay.
-I don't want any trouble. -Come on out of there.
-I don't want any trouble. -I'm not gonna ask you again.
Come on. Put your hands in the air.
I said put 'em up! Go on!
[stammers] I'm surrendering.
Oh, God, save me.
-Devil, be gone! -[The Bride screams]
Oh, no.
[man] Frankenstein.
Can't the kids think of anything new these days?
-Is this... Apricot? -Mm-hmm.
Fantastic. You got any witnesses?
[woman] Only about 150 people.
[man] Oh, great.
Also a movie theater owner.
He says a guy who fits the description
kept coming in to see the same Ronnie Reed picture.
-Over and over again. -Which one?
The Dubious Detective.
Well, there's no accounting for taste.
I'll say.
[man] He's got a girl with him.
[woman] Thought you'd like that.
Apparently, she was mouthing off about Vito Lupino.
The mob boss.
Yeah.
She's got a busted leg.
Looks like it.
We'll have this wrapped up in 24 hours.
Oh.
It's a strange time for a bath, Frank.
[Frank] Pennies.
"Frankenstein."
Frankenstein?
Frankenstein.
Oh.
You're German?
Swiss.
"His bride." That's what they call me in the paper.
What's my name?
I mean, I can't remember. [chuckles]
Hello?
Ginger.
[chuckles]
"Ginger"?
[both laughing]
No, no, no. I'm just kidding.
Penelope.
-"Penelope"? -Mmm.
Penelope what?
Rogers.
Hmm.
"Penelope Rogers."
I like the photo.
"His bride."
Frankenstein. Frankenstein. Mrs. Penelope Frankenstein.
[chuckles]
I mean, it's got a ring to it.
Wanna fuck? It might make it easier to sleep.
Maybe this will jog my memory.
Mmm.
Yes.
No. No.
No. No. Thank you.
No, thank you.
[scoffs]
Jesus, just trying to be friendly.
I'm sorry.
I don't see what a dead body in Indiana's got to do
with a couple of monster murderers in Chicago.
I've got a hunch.
Malloy?
Nope. Wiles. Detective Wiles.
The name that I was given was Malloy. From Chicago.
I am Malloy.
-Myrna Malloy. -Oh. Ah.
Nice to meet you.
Sorry. We just have a couple of questions for you.
Is the lady a detective?
Well, detective, technically no. But...
She's my secretary.
Case seemed like a slam dunk,
so I figured why not give her a shot?
[sheriff] This your first time?
That's no question for a lady.
[chuckles]
Well, you're welcome to have a look around,
but I'm pretty sure this ain't gonna have anything
to do with your case in Chicago.
Based on what, Sheriff?
[sheriff] Well, nobody seems to have seen anyone
fits the description that we've been given.
-Cigarette? -Never touch 'em.
-I'd love one, thanks. -Uh, and...
I'd love one, thank you very much.
And it wouldn't be very easy
to miss those two from the look of it.
-Smart man. -Yeah.
You wanna take some notes?
No. No pen.
[sheriff] Oh, those two didn't have anything
to do with this one.
What, a gimpy lady and a monster?
Jeez. They'd be pretty hard to miss.
[Wiles] You guys are pretty funny out here in Indiana.
Let me ask you about this girl.
Anybody got an ID on her?
[sheriff] Sounds like she got hit with the ugly stick.
-[Wiles] Right. -[police laughing]
[sheriff] Lucky they found each other.
[Wiles] Yeah. Seriously, we got any idea who she is?
You know, smoking actually kills the appetite.
-Hmm. -Are you watching your figure?
I hate it when you do that.
What's that?
Your asshole act. It's not funny.
I think it's hilarious.
It's how I get some of my best information.
You do the detective work, I seduce the sheriffs.
I'm your gal Friday.
Well, what are you thinking?
You got a hunch?
I found it out in the field while you were flirting
with that cute sheriff.
Where are you going?
Wherever that train is headed.
New York. I got us tickets on the 11:03.
I wonder what Ronnie Reed picture is playing
in New York these days.
Penelope Rogers.
[Frank sighs]
Oh, like Ginger Rogers?
[chuckles]
Yeah. I get it.
What was the fucking like before the accident?
That good, huh?
Volcanic.
Big Bang.
Sun shaft.
Sweetmeat.
It was out of this world.
You think he's okay?
That man from the train?
I think he's...
fine.
-Yeah. -[Frank gasping, groaning]
You all right? Hmm?
My nerves. Sometimes it's hard...
[gasps]
it's hard to get a... a good breath in.
My clipping. [groans]
It was right here. Oh, God.
Do you mind if we go to the movies?
[hawker] Herald, Sun and Tribune, late edition.
[Wiles] It's good. It is. And Carnegie
is definitely better than Langer's. But is it great?
I mean, pastrami in Chi-Town is pretty good too.
What is that? Frankie, what's that smell?
[Frank] Pretzels.
-It's your favorite. -My favorite?
Really? Wow.
[The Bride] Oh, my God.
[Wiles] I'm just tired of all this "Second City" bullshit.
You're not hungry?
Dubious Detective? Frank, we already saw that one.
Come on, let's check this one out.
No, no, no.
[actor 1] By whom? Those men you spoke to?
[actor 2] They are not men, Monsieur.
-They are dead bodies. -[gasps]
[actor 1] Dead?
[actor 2] Yes, Monsieur. Zombies.
-[grunts] Excuse me. -[actor 2] The living dead.
Corpses taken from their graves...
-I'm terribly sorry. -...who are made to work
in sugar mills and fields at night.
Sorry.
[actor 2] Look! Here they come.
-Oh, no. -Just ignore them, honey.
Come on, Eddie, no. Eddie.
Okay. All right, all right, all right. I'm stopping.
-[monster screams] -[gasping]
[kissing]
-Eddie, no. -[Eddie moans]
[actor 3] Excuse me, please. Have you got a match?
-Eddie, no. -[chuckles]
I mean it. I can't. No. Stop. No.
-No, no. -[moaning]
[groans] God.
Do monsters turn you on, Eddie?
-Oh, my God. -Down, boy.
-[Eddie] Fuck! -Yeah, fuck.
She said no, Eddie.
Of course, you can fuck him if you want to, lady.
I seem to remember it can be very nice.
Much nicer with a wet pussy, Eddie, promise.
-Monsters. -[Frank] No, no, no.
-[Eddie] They're monsters! -No, no. No.
-They're the killer monsters! -There they are!
-[theatergoer 1] Stop them! -[theatergoer 2] Oh, God!
[audience screaming, clamoring]
[Eddie] She fucking touched me!
Jesus.
-Monsters! -Killer monsters!
-There they go! -Someone stop them!
They're the killer monsters!
Myrna, I'm thinking we go this way.
You're a genius.
[rock music plays]
-You must've called me Penny. -[breathing heavily]
-Penny? -Yeah, like, for short.
Like penny pincher.
Penny wise, a pretty penny.
Penelope is an old lady's name.
Yeah. I did. I... I called you Pretty Penny.
-[crowd clamoring] -[police sirens]
[man in crowd] Stop them!
[policeman 1] Freeze! Don't move!
[both grunting]
[Frank] Lock it! Lock the door.
-Hey! Excuse you. -Excuse me.
-[jazz music plays] -[guests chattering, laughing]
[The Bride] Excuse me.
Could I tempt you to a little tart? No?
[whistles, chuckles]
[Ronnie] Just try it. Try a big laugh.
Do it all the time. You try it, Jacob.
[group laughing]
[Jacob] It's a high-brow--
[Ronnie] I couldn't hear. It is very high-brow.
-[Jacob] I told him. -It's high-brow. It's also...
You know, it's also sad.
Low quality, sad and high-brow.
[Jacob] High-brow yet low quality.
[Ronnie, singsongy] I don't know what it is,
but I know that you are the one.
-Excuse me. -The one.
[group laughing]
[Frank] Excuse me, sir. [grunts]
-Oh, Ronnie. Mr. Reed. -Yes?
Oh, my... my... God.
It's you. It's me. [chuckling]
[both chuckling]
Ronnie. I, uh...
It's been... Manchester. In 1917.
-All right. -In the, uh...
In the vaudeville days.
The shoes, it... it's true.
They are like works of art.
1917. You smiled at me.
Yeah. You were radiant.
-I still have the ticket. -Well, thank... thank...
You... You...
You'll be glad to know that, um,
I'm not alone anymore.
Thank you.
I'm sorry. I just...
I credit you...
and you alone
with my survival.
Well... [chuckles]
Well, I'm so sorry, honey, but you're really not my type.
[all laughing]
[Frank grunts]
I don't know. I don't know.
Who is that?
Definitely a sort of aroma now.
I'm always busting up in the middle of scenes,
because no matter what I do--
[shouts]
-[guests gasping] -[Frank grunting]
[laughs] Jesus. Fuck.
[Frank grunting continues]
[instrumental "Puttin' On The Ritz" plays]
[guests gasping]
Yeah, Frankie!
[both grunting]
-[Frank yells] -[The Bride] Baby!
[dancers exclaiming]
[all grunting, shrieking]
[whistles blowing]
[The Bride] What are you doing here?
[Wiles] Oh, my God.
Frankie!
Frankie! Frankie, we gotta get out...
Puttin' on the Ritz!
[both grunting]
Hold it!
[guest] Officers, officers. Hold, hold.
-Freeze! -[guests gasp, clamor]
Firm up, stiffen, thicken.
I'll shoot you all. Freeze.
-Drop the gun. -Ma'am, put the gun down.
Drop it.
Let him go.
Let him go!
[guests gasping, screaming]
Move.
Move!
Mr. Ronnie Reed, everybody.
Got forced amnesia, huh?
No problem, I've got brains. Yeah.
Plenty of brains inside this firecracker.
And she's the brains behind that operation.
This is a brain attack.
Let him go?
[policeman 2] Easy, boys.
Get on your fuckin' knees.
[Ronnie] Please. Please.
Please don't hurt me. Please. I'm sorry.
What are you sorry for? Hmm?
Did you do something wrong?
Something you thought you might get away with?
Pressure, hurt, harm, injury.
Beating.
Belting, bludgeoning, clubbing.
Something niggling, huh? Some little violence?
-Breaking. Breaking! -[guests gasping]
Read all about it. I've got all the stories.
It's a real cop shop in here.
You gentlemen want a tip?
Lupino's paying off the commissioner.
[clicks tongue]
Mr. Vito Lupino, the mob boss, murderer of women.
Elsie, Lucy, May,
Rae,
all found dead with their tongues cut out.
Well, you know what they say: silence is golden.
But I'm singing for my supper.
Will you just put the guns down?
-I'll tell you all about it. -[door opens]
I'm talking here. Get over!
What, clutching your pearls? You shoot whoever you want.
You cheated and you won. The dead are angry.
[guests gasping]
Scared?
What did you do?
Yeah, you, sir.
And you.
What did you do?
Yeah, no one saw you push her head down.
Mrs. Alice Thompson, dead at 30.
Here, present.
You left her crying in the bedroom.
She ripped her slip on the way out, crazy cunt.
Providence Hagen, sad, old, saggy wife dead.
Here.
Francis McBurns, hungry dead.
I can hear them.
Here. Here.
Here. Here. [grunts]
They're all here.
Silenced, stifled, snuffed.
The dead have got something to say.
And I'm saying it!
Critical mass. The corrupt are going to seed!
Life is here, and it's coming to you from the monsters!
Hold it!
[yells]
[pensive music plays]
[guests clamoring]
-[whistles blowing] -[Frank] Run!
[policeman 3] Everybody, stay calm.
Where'd they go? Where'd they go?
[guest] Officers, officers. Hold, hold.
[policeman 4] Do you see them?
[Frank grunts] You... were...
incredible!
You're mine. [chuckles]
You're mine.
My God. [chuckles]
Who are you?
Frank.
What have I... What have I done?
That cop... He looked so surprised.
My darling, I know.
It is fucking terrible. I know.
There is nothing left to do now but live.
[The Bride moans]
[The Bride breathes heavily]
Stop right there! Police!
[both roaring]
[both laughing]
[The Bride] Yeah!
[gunshot]
[both breathing heavily]
[Frank] Slow down.
Slow. Slow.
Slow down.
-[officer 1] Police! -[officer 2] Hands up.
-[officer 1] Show yourselves. -[officer 2] Come on out.
We got two rooms over here. Check 'em.
-Hot-wire! -[howls]
Yippee!
Give Daddy a kiss.
[both laughing]
[The Bride breathes shakily]
-Knock, knock. -Who's there?
-Cantaloupe. -Cantaloupe who?
"Cantaloupe" with me.
[both roaring]
I got some! I got some gold!
[both breathing heavily]
[both laughing]
[moaning]
[clicks tongue, sighs]
[news announcer] From the penthouses of Park Avenue
to the root cellars of rural Maine,
...revolution is afoot.
Spurred on by a nameless monster outlaw,
women everywhere have been painting their faces
and taking to the streets.
"Brain attack" is their strange and alluring war cry.
Brain attack!
-Fuck this shit! Brain attack! -[gunshots]
Brain attack! Fucking brain attack!
Brain attack!
[gunshots continue]
Fuck off!
Fucking brain attack!
Fuck you!
Brain attack! Brain attack!
Fucking brain attack!
[groans]
Frankie, look what I found. [moans]
[imitates chewing]
[both moaning]
How's the family, Clyde? Annette's good?
Yes, Mr. Lupino. Thank you.
They're good.
And I hear you got a nice side dish too.
-[Clyde chuckles] -Tasty.
[James and Lupino laugh]
Not so much anymore, sir.
It's a lot at home with the baby,
so I can't really find the time.
Come on, Clyde. It's not just the baby
that needs a nice titty to suck on now and then, huh?
[all laugh]
[Lupino] Yeah. But you're loose-lipped
when you are getting your dick sucked,
huh, baby face? Hmm.
I get a little nervous
when a moll is talking about singing for her supper.
Canary talk and the like.
Invoking my name before a bloodbath. [scoffs]
That's in poor taste.
[Lupino] Ida Bolinski.
She knows a lot more than she should.
She was always a live wire, this one.
The commissioner will tell you where he's tailing them.
Take care of it.
[scoffs] Sir, we took care of it.
[chuckling] It doesn't look taken care of to me.
[Lupino and James laugh]
[Lupino] Huh?
-It is. [chuckles] -Hmm. [chuckles]
-All taken care of. -Mmm.
Nothing to worry about, boss. We put her in a hole.
-[Lupino chuckles] -[James laughs]
Oh! [laughs, imitates gunshots]
-[gasps, breathes shakily] -[tableware clattering]
What's the baby's name, Clyde?
Uh, the baby? It's Frank, sir. It's Franklin.
-[Lupino] A good name. -Yeah.
-[Lupino] Clyde. -Uh-huh?
Cut her tongue out.
-I'd like it as a souvenir. -Mm-hmm.
[Clyde] Oh. [chuckles]
Thank you, sir.
[Lupino] And send my love to your lovely wife...
-Of course, sir. -...Annette.
Wow, wow. Annette, huh?
[door opens, closes]
[Wiles] Sixteen copycat murders
in two weeks, and the feds want to pin them
all on her.
They're just frothing at the fucking mouth.
Seventeen.
The only one they have on her is the cop at Criterion,
and that was self-defense. There's no question.
[Myrna] Self-defense?
She was pointing her gun at a police officer.
She wasn't trying to kill anyone.
She was just talking. She was talking.
You know, you disrupt the status quo,
and they're fucking on you.
Wow. Are you thinking of joining the movement?
The whole world is on fire over a lady criminal.
It's turning them on.
Imagine if they got this excited over
a lady astronaut or a lady brain surgeon.
Or a lady detective.
Oh. Yeah.
-Touché. -[clicks tongue]
They were spotted last night at a county fair,
just outside Fredonia, New York.
It's about four hours from here.
[sighs] Fuck. Okay.
Where the fuck is my tie?
She looked right at you at that party.
You having another hunch?
Like you were old friends.
You know, a lot of ladies look at me like that.
Even the ones I haven't met yet.
I know.
Keep your head in the game, Detective.
I'm good. Hey. I'm great.
Muy bien. Where we headed next?
Granger wants us in New York.
But I have another idea.
Of course you do.
[clicks tongue] Harvest Honeymoon. MGM, 1931.
Louisville, Kentucky.
Warren, Ohio. The Singing Soldier.
That's an early one.
1927, when he had a brief contract
with 20th Century Pictures.
Then we have Heartbreak Holiday, 1931.
Kansas City.
Kansas City, Kansas, or Kansas City, Missouri?
-Kansas. -Kansas.
Every single town they've hit over the last two weeks
has something to do with a Ronnie Reed picture.
Now they've been spotted upstate.
What does it mean?
They gotta be headed to Niagara Falls.
Why?
The Shotgun Wedding, 1929. MGM.
Huge hit. They even made a sequel in 1933.
Oh, yeah? How was it?
Awful. Horrible.
You're one hell of a secretary.
-Jake? -Yeah?
If we get them, I want my name on this one.
Well, that is not up to me.
But you know that.
-[car horn honking] -[Frank and The Bride cheer]
-Niagara Falls, baby! -[Frank screams, chuckles]
-Yeah! Whoo! -Eighth Wonder of the World!
Bridal Veil Falls, they call it.
It is incredible.
You've been?
Uh, only in the movies.
But it is the most romantic proposal
in Hollywood history.
Shotgun Wedding.
Was ours romantic?
-Oh, it was... -You know I can't remember.
[sniffs] Hmm?
Our proposal?
It was sublime.
Sublime.
-Tell me. -Oh, my God. We were driving.
-I was driving. -Always. Always.
And you were sulking and moody. I didn't know why.
I was just trying to make you laugh,
and you wouldn't budge.
Nothing. No dirty jokes, nothing.
And then you turned to me, and you said,
"Don't you ever wanna get married, Frankie?"
And I said, "Oh... I do."
"I sure do wanna get married, kid."
And then I reached inside my jacket,
where I'd been keeping a ring. For weeks.
-With a big ruby. [chuckles] -Yeah. A big ruby. Yeah.
And you were saying,
"No, no, no, no, no." Because you were crying,
you didn't want it to be like that.
-But I said, "Do not say no." -"...no, kid."
-"Don't say no, Pretty Penny." -[chuckles]
[sighs]
And then I said yes.
Yes! Yes, you did!
Oh, my God, yes.
-I said "Yes, yes!" -Yes!
"Yes!"
[both chuckling]
That's usually how it goes.
[The Bride] And then what?
[Frank] Then we had...
champagne.
And oysters.
-Oysters? Really? -Yeah!
You were a fiend for oysters.
You couldn't get enough of lobster.
You don't remember?
We went to that little place by the sea.
Well, what happened to the ring?
Oh, we had to pawn it
to pay for the fucking oysters.
[both laughing]
-[police sirens wail] -[gasps]
What, is everything okay? What's happening?
-I don't know. -[sighs]
Huh? What... What do we do?
I don't know. He wants you to stop.
-Stop? -Yeah, he wants you to stop.
-Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop! -Okay, I'm fu... Stopping.
[The Bride] Oh, shit.
Huh? What do we do?
Tell him I'm sick.
Hmm?
Tell him I'm sick. Be nice to him.
Be nice to him?
Hiya, ma'am.
You have any idea how fast you were going?
No, sir.
So I can just put any number I want on the ticket, then?
I'm just joking. [chuckles]
License and registration, please.
Do you know what you need to open up
a tight little oyster?
What?
A little mussel.
[The Bride chuckles]
I'm just joking too.
[both chuckle]
You got a dirty mouth.
[chuckles] I guess I do.
He okay?
Yeah, he's, uh... he's sick. My uncle.
Oh. Sorry about that.
License, please.
You don't have your license?
-No. -[scoffs]
What's your name, ma'am?
It's Ginger Rogers.
I'm just kidding. Again.
Penelope Rogers.
"Pretty Penny."
I'm gonna need to have you step out of the car.
Hands on the hood, please. Ma'am.
Are you, um... Come here.
[chuckles]
May I?
Do you like poetry?
Sure.
There once was a countess of Bray,
And you may think it odd when I say
That in spite of high station
Rank and education
She always spelled "cunt" with a K.
Gotcha. [chuckles] Didn't I?
Want another one?
[Mary Shelley] Knock, knock.
Where's your fight, girl?
Where's your rage?
I thought you were a monster.
[policeman] ...was written, "This body for sale."
And on her behind For the sake of the blind...
How kind, how kind...
Was the same information
in Braille. [laughs]
Uh...
-I've got another one. -I would prefer not to.
Just one more.
There once was a miner named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
When asked, "Did she smell?"
-He replied, "What the he"-- -[gunshot]
[both grunting]
Someone ought to cut your fucking tongue out.
[The Bride screams]
[muffled groaning]
-[screams] -[muffled groaning]
[spits, breathes heavily]
Yes, yes. No, thank you, Mr. Lupino.
The commissioner already told me.
Nothing to worry about.
[passerby] Come on. [laughs]
[Myrna] Anybody in the market for a bride?
I think we should get a stakeout at the Cinema Dome.
If they hit it, that would be their sixth film in two weeks.
-Absolutely. -Who doesn't love a movie
after a double homicide?
Are you hungry again? Should I get you something to eat?
I'm all right. I'm fine. I'm just gonna get out.
Go for a walk. Get a little fresh air.
Looks like rain.
Yeah, I'll meet you at the movies.
[tense music plays]
Killing time. I'm killing time. I'm...
Killing, killing time. [grunts]
God, that voice. Mary, please can you stop?
-I can't take it anymore. -Try and breathe.
I'm so hungry.
Can we get a roast beef or a chop suey?
Yeah. I'll get you something, I promise.
I feel like I'm gonna faint.
-Try to breathe. -[breathes deeply]
-Out. -I'm hungry.
Okay.
[radio announcer] Gehringer and Manush
go down to second and third.
Into third and second respectively.
Then Jimmie Foxx comes up and strikes out.
Driven into by Carl Hubbell. Now we go into the second half
of the first innings. Tom Manning.
Did I pull that man's tongue out?
I don't know.
Did I pull that man's tongue out?
I don't know.
There was blood running down his chin.
It's too much.
Mary, I don't want this.
I'm revolting.
You are not.
No, no, no.
Insurrection.
Mutiny.
Outbreak.
-Coup. -Penny, wait.
I'm revolting.
-I'm revolting. -Penny.
-Penny, no! -[grunts]
-[gunshot] -Avenge, heads or tails,
off the rails.
I didn't want any of this.
-Okay. -What do you want?
You wanna go to one of those wedding chapels?
-Yeah. -Middle-aisle it?
-Yes! -Then have some oysters after?
My favorite.
Oysters?
[chuckles]
Frankie, was I just the same before the accident?
-[gun cocks] -Huh?
-Penny. -Was I just the same
before the accident?
You were just the same.
Just the same?
Just the same except I hadn't killed anybody.
-[Wiles] Ida! -[gunshot]
-[Frank] Come on. -Ida!
It's Jake. It's Detective Wiles.
-[The Bride] Stop. Stop. -I wanna help!
-Stop walking! Stop walking! -Come on!
[Wiles] Okay. Okay.
They're coming for you.
-Let me help. -[breathes shakily]
Let me help you. I know you didn't want any of this.
[Frank] Penny.
-[Wiles] Ida. -Penny.
-Ida. -[Frank] Come on. Come on.
-[Wiles] It's me! -[Frank] Who is this?
Quiet. Quiet!
Ida, I got you into this.
I'm...
This is my fault, and I'm sick from it.
I know you.
Yes. Ida.
-I'm a fucking coward... -[Frank] Come on, Penny.
...and I'm so, so sorry.
Please...
-Penny. -[The Bride] Stay right there!
-Stop! Stop! -Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Stop!
Stop!
Ida.
-Ida? -Ida?
Ida?
"Ida" rather been called something else.
Crooked cop!
-Gumshoe, flatfoot! -Come on.
Don't fuck your witnesses, detective!
-Rookie mistake! -Come on.
[Wiles grunts]
-Who was that? -[police sirens in distance]
I don't know.
You don't know.
Ida.
What was he so sorry about?
You fucked him? You fucked him?
I don't know. I don't remember.
You don't remember.
Was he so forgettable, or was he one of a big crowd?
-Fuck! Fuck! -Huh?
They're all locked.
Or would you rather stay with your detective, Ida?
Penny, please.
Don't make me laugh.
I would prefer not to.
I guess beggars can't be choosers, Frankenstein.
[police chattering indistinctly]
Egg sandwich, extra cheese, extra bacon.
Thanks.
Sorry about your foot.
She should've aimed a little higher.
Are you in love with her?
Love's for the birds.
Myrna... [cries]
-Are you okay? -Sorry.
-Sorry, I... -What is it?
I'm sorry.
I thought she was dead.
[The Bride] I'm feeling pretty tired.
I might have to shut my eyes for a minute, Frank.
Is that your name?
What is it?
Is it Edwin?
-Buck? -[Frank sighs]
Or Freddie? [chuckles]
You lie about that too?
Say, where are you from, Eddie, huh?
Mexico?
The North Pole?
You're a fucking black hole.
[Wiles] She was part of the Lupino case.
Her and a bunch of other girls,
working as escorts, going out with top Wall Street guys,
gangsters some of them. Just drinking champagne
and quietly collecting all the little details.
And just when we were about to get the guy,
the girls were deep in,
they closed the case.
You know, when she heard it had been dropped,
she came by my office.
It was late.
She was just a kid, she probably wasn't even twenty,
but the thing had really lit her up.
Lupino was running all sorts of awful shit.
She said she'd do anything to keep it from being dropped.
And it had lit me up too.
So you slept with her.
-Yeah. -So what?
Yeah.
Did you get them to open the case back up?
No, it wasn't up to me.
But you tried?
[chuckles]
Okay.
I see.
I think if I was gonna get married, I'd like my...
my mother to be there.
My dad, if he's around.
Ida, Ida, Ida.
Ida.
Now I'm nothing.
Obliterated.
Is that how you like your women?
Yeah.
I think...
I think this is it.
You just let me know where I can drop you.
Is here good?
Another girl we were working with, she was something else.
She was so...
damn smart.
She got tagged,
-and they found her-- -Without her tongue.
I'm just a crooked cop.
She's right, I... I am.
I'm bad news. I just do what they tell me.
[sniffles]
Oh, Myrna...
I, uh... I already called the chief.
I'm resigning on the condition I can choose my replacement.
-[choking, grunting] -[The Bride] What is it? Huh?
It's... It's nothing. It's nothing.
It just knocked the wind out of me.
-Wait, she shot you. The cop? -No, it's not that.
-You're not breathing right. -It started when you said
that you were leaving.
[breathing deeply, grunting]
-I'm sorry. -You're not cut out for this.
We can't go to the hospital.
No, not the hospital.
I know where you wanna go, Frank.
[police officer] Sir, we have a lead.
Looks like they stopped at a gas station
outside of Garrett, Indiana. Cream-colored Plymouth.
-Let's go. -We have plate numbers.
-We have... -Myrna.
Don't let them kill her.
And don't smoke too much.
[laughs]
[Clyde] Yes, yes.
Absolutely. Absolutely, Mr. Lupino.
No more delays.
I got it. I got it. Okay.
Now, I do not judge people,
but when they look like somebody I know...
-Excuse-- -...I try to remember.
And there was a scar across his head,
and this kid had a scar, the same scar.
-And I-- -He'd been in a trench.
-What type of scar was that? -It was a trench scar.
-Taken a bayonet to the head. -How do you know that?
I was in the trench with him.
He took a bayonet to the head.
And I remember the doctors sewed him up.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Could you tell me where I can find
a movie theater around here?
[witness] ...could have been the same person.
We'll be docking in Algiers in the morning.
Yes.
[Ronnie] Sergei will be waiting for you.
[actress] And Margot for you?
[Ronnie] Yes.
[actress] I think this belongs to you.
Fifth ace in your pack.
I never said I was a saint.
Saint isn't what I was looking for.
Could we have one last dance?
I'd like a souvenir too.
-Mr. Reed. -["My Sin" plays]
[Ronnie] ♪ Maybe it's best That we're through ♪
Heartbreak Holiday.
♪ What was it leading us to? ♪
You know I should hit the road.
Ida.
There wasn't any accident.
Everything we did...
we did it on purpose.
I never knew you.
I never knew your mother, your friends.
We never made love.
You never agreed to marry me.
We found you in a pauper's grave.
So beautiful and dead.
Dead?
Yeah.
I don't understand.
Uh, I was dying of loneliness,
and I wasn't going to survive.
Well, what did you do, Frank?
We dug you up.
From the ground.
And we brought you back to life.
Who did?
Euphronious, remember?
What? The lady with the keys in Chicago?
Dr. Euphronious.
-She can do that? -She's a genius.
[The Bride] Well, what did you want with a dead girl?
[Frank] I'm the same.
Born from the dead.
Reinvigorated.
Isn't everybody?
No.
You're right. I am a black hole.
♪ And yielding To your charms… ♪
You didn't know me.
No.
You know what's funny?
I feel like I've always known you.
Ida.
♪ …over now ♪
Ida.
♪ And your love's over too ♪
[retches]
[Frank] Ida!
[filmgoer] Shut up!
[The Bride groans, coughs]
♪ But my sin Is just the same ♪
♪ I'm still in love with you ♪
I am a monster.
Yeah.
So am I.
Ida, I don't want to let you go.
Ida? I don't think that's my name anymore.
Let's find a new one. Let's start over.
-Yeah, a new name. -Yes.
Yes. Yes!
The Bride.
Oh.
I love it.
Oh, I fucking love it.
So do I.
The Bride.
I don't wanna obliterate you.
It's your mind that I love.
The Bride.
Not "till death do us part."
I love you till the end of time.
'Cause we were dead to begin with.
I want you.
I want you. I want you.
The Bride,
will you marry me?
Oh, Frankie.
Can't you feel me like I feel you?
I'm not anybody's bride.
I would prefer not to.
[chuckles]
[both laughing]
-[gunshot] -[The Bride whimpers]
No!
Gun down! Put the gun down!
-[pensive music plays] -Get back!
Ma'am, please, freeze.
Don't move.
-Frankie. -Hold your fire.
What did you have to do that for?
-Frankie, come on. Gotta go... -Drop the gun.
-[gunshot] -[The Bride screams]
Wait, are you gonna... you gonna shoot me? Huh?
-Drop the gun! -You gonna shoot everybody?
[panting]
[police siren wailing]
[panting]
[gunshot]
Oh, fuck.
[police sirens fading in distance]
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Bride.
The Bride who?
Just The Bride.
Yeah, that's good.
That's very good.
Not Ida, not Pretty Penny,
not The Bride of Frankenstein.
The Bride.
That's good.
That's who you are.
[clears throat]
[doorbell chimes]
[Greta] Oh, God.
Frank?
[gasps]
Oh, Frank.
We'll need the thermometric scale.
There's going to be a Penrose radiation emission.
Evaporation's already started.
Greta, please, the thermometer.
[tense music plays]
[The Bride] He's going to be okay, right?
[Euphronious] "Okay"?
He's dead.
Yeah, but you're gonna bring him back to life.
No.
Well, what are you doing?
I'm recording the radiation emission.
He's a scientific singularity. I'm doing my job.
It's... It's been a few hours.
I came straight here.
I'm not gonna tell anyone.
I'll... I'll... I'll do it.
Show me how to do it. I can... I can do everything.
It's impossible.
[The Bride] Doctor, you don't have to play dumb.
He told me everything. It's okay.
I didn't... I didn't want this.
I didn't even want him. I was dead.
Dead. That was it for me.
I was fine. You... You did this.
You did this, Doctor.
I didn't ask for this. I haven't asked for anything.
Anything!
Please, can you help me?
Help me now, Doctor, please.
Help.
Can this... any... Can somebody help me, please?
Can anybody help me?
Mary?
It's...
Hester Washington, full of rage.
Sadie McKibbons, full of rage.
So much rage.
What about me?
Me too! Me!
Me too!
It's the dead end of revenge.
I want... I just want...
so much.
It's terrifying.
You love him.
[inhales sharply] Till the end of time.
[sobbing]
I had the romance of the century.
Well, it was the last century.
George. My George.
He was... astonishing.
No one would touch the work we were doing,
so we experimented on each other.
Relativity and simultaneity.
Time dilation.
Ripples in the curvature of space-time.
But it didn't work.
Maybe we went too far.
A hair's breadth and he was gone.
So I brought him back. I knew how to, and I did it.
-It was extraordinary. -[Euphronious] No.
He didn't remember me.
[police radio chatter]
[Euphronious] He was off.
He was a little off.
He couldn't find his mind.
Broke his heart.
So,
I...
I had to put him down.
Well, I'm a little off.
Maybe you should put me down.
[Euphronious] We wanted to destroy
what the scientists called "a well-behaved geometry."
The point at which all known laws cease to be valid.
We wanted to see a disobedient geometry.
We wanted to know what it would look like.
Well, what does it look like?
Looks like you.
Sorry...
Hey.
[gunshots continue]
No. No, no, no, no!
-No! -They've got a gun!
[sergeant] Open fire!
Give me a sec. [groans]
Get out of the way!
Get down! Get down!
[Myrna] Stop! Stop it!
Weapons down. That's an order.
Stop! Stop!
Stop shooting.
They're dead. They're dead.
Dead. Don't you see? They are dead. It's over.
Doctor.
-Where is the sergeant? -Ma'am.
Sergeant.
We need these men outside protecting the perimeter.
There's been a lot of interest in this case, as you know.
Let's let these ladies get dressed
and I'll take them to the station for questioning.
Can we please clear this room
so we don't lose any more evidence?
Excuse me, ma'am. Who exactly am I taking orders from?
This is a crime scene.
It belongs to the detectives now.
Where's the detective?
You're looking at her.
Also, you might wanna check out
the young man climbing down the fire escape.
I have a few things I'd like to ask him.
Call it a hunch.
Jesus.
Give them a couple of minutes.
All right, let's go.
[police clamoring]
I'll wait outside, Doctor.
And take as long as you need.
Never was there a tale so full of woe
as that of Juliet and her Romeo.
I saw the movie.
[Mary Shelley] Never was there a tale so fine
as that of The Bride...
and her Frankenstein.
[cackling]
Doctor, we should sleep.
Greta.
Yes, Doctor?
I would prefer not to.
[tense music plays]
[electricity crackling]
["Monster Mash" plays]
♪ I was working in the lab Late one night ♪
♪ When my eyes beheld an eerie sight ♪
♪ For my monster from his slab Began to rise ♪
♪ And suddenly to my surprise ♪
-♪ He did the Mash ♪ -♪ He did the Monster Mash ♪
-♪ The Monster Mash ♪ -♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪
-♪ He did the Mash ♪ -♪ It caught on in a flash ♪
-♪ He did the Mash ♪ -♪ He did the Monster Mash ♪
♪ From my laboratory in the castle east ♪
♪ To the master bedroom Where the vampires feast ♪
♪ The ghouls all came From their humble abodes ♪
♪ To get a jolt from my electrodes ♪
-♪ They did the Mash ♪ -♪ They did the Monster Mash ♪
-♪ The Monster Mash ♪ -♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪
-♪ They did the Mash ♪ -♪ It caught on in a flash ♪
-♪ They did the Mash ♪ -♪ They did the Monster Mash ♪
♪ The zombies were having fun ♪
♪ The party had just begun ♪
♪ The guests included Wolf Man ♪
♪ Dracula and his son ♪
♪ The scene was rockin' All were digging the sounds ♪
♪ Igor on chains Backed by his baying hounds ♪
♪ The coffin-bangers Were about to arrive ♪
♪ With their vocal group "The Crypt-Kicker Five" ♪
-♪ They played the Mash ♪ -♪ They played the Monster Mash ♪
-♪ The Monster Mash ♪ -♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪
-♪ They played the Mash ♪ -♪ It caught on in a flash ♪
-♪ They played the Mash ♪ -♪ They played the Monster Mash ♪
♪ Out from his coffin Drac's voice did ring ♪
♪ Seems he was troubled By just one thing ♪
♪ He opened the lid and shook his fist And said ♪
♪ "Whatever happened To my Transylvania Twist?" ♪
-♪ It's now the Mash ♪ -♪ It's now the Monster Mash ♪
-♪ The Monster Mash ♪ -♪ And it's a graveyard smash ♪
-♪ It's now the Mash ♪ -♪ It's caught on in a flash ♪
-♪ It's now the Mash ♪ -♪ It's now the Monster Mash ♪
-[Igor] Mash good. -Easy, Igor, you impetuous young boy.
[theme music plays]
["My Sin" plays]
[Ronnie] That's all!
[Mary Shelley cackles]