-Showtime. -I just shot Honey Boy 2 with Shia.
Smells like an Abercrombie got fucked by a 7-Eleven.
-Is that milk? -[Firecracker] Heavens to Betsy!
-You can join the fun. -And I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.
[Hughie] You left us for dead,
and now it's like nothing happened?
-[grunts] -I'll fucking kill you.
-[groans] -[Butcher] Go on.
-Do it. -Fuck Butcher.
-[grunts] -Fuck Hughie.
You're just gonna drag us all down with you.
[Annie] Mom!
-Annie. -Hi.
How old was I
when you let Vought pump me full of drugs?
[Donna] They promised that you'd have a chance at an extraordinary life.
[Annie] You told me that Daddy left because
he lost all of our savings.
Was it really bad investments?
Your whole Marlboro Man act, it's fucking crap, and I--
[Mother's Milk] Fort Harmony was an Army hospital
where Frederick Vought was testing the V1.
If there's any more left out there, that would be the fucking place to look.
V1's ten times more potent than today's formula.
Only worked on a handful of early Supes: you and Stormfront.
-[Soldier Boy] Who is Stormfront? -[Sage] Dr. Vought's wife Clara.
I think you knew her as Liberty?
We're still gonna go after Homelander, right?
[Butcher] Not without the virus.
You said I was strong enough.
You said I was the only one who could stop him.
I just said that so you'd get him out of the tower.
My sweet, sweet boy.
[grunts fiercely]
[ominous music playing]
[chuckles softly]
[Firecracker] Homelander?
Fire...
cracker.
[sniffs]
-What's that smell? -Oh, it, uh,
might be my new perfume line.
It's General Lee's Secret.
-[chuckles] -No.
That's my father.
It's Soldier Boy.
-Uh, I can smell him all over you. -Right.
Of course. 'Cause we was just, uh, prepping for our interview.
-Prepping? -Mm-hmm.
Uh...
I need you for something.
You do?
I have received the most wonderful message.
Mm.
I was visited...
by an angel.
And she foretold my destiny.
Wow. Well, praise be.
And what is it?
God.
Sir, that is wonderful.
There is no higher calling than serving the Lord.
Oh. No.
Not serving the Lord.
Being the Lord.
I am the Messiah.
I'm the savior of the world.
The... Messiah?
Yes.
Um...
Congrats.
-Thank you. -[giggling nervously]
I always knew I was special.
I knew it.
I suffered.
I suffered so many hardships, and I...
I couldn't understand why.
But you... you...
you always saw it.
Didn't you?
You knew all along I was special.
That is why I have chosen you
to spread the word of my coming.
How?
Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth.
Ah.
Jesus would kill for our marketing. Mm.
What do you say?
Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.
Thank you.
[tense music playing]
-[whines] -[Butcher] Oh, here he is.
Back from the dead.
-[groans] -Oh. Easy does it.
Easy.
Here.
[grunting]
[Ryan groans, shudders]
It's a bit like that Empire Strikes Back film, innit?
-Uh, never saw it. -What?
-Bollocks. I showed it to you. -No.
You showed me Star Wars.
And Mom never let me watch any of 'em.
They're with that guy from Regarding Henry, right?
Yeah.
Anyway, there's this bit, see.
Young Luke hops in his spaceship,
fucks off to a barney with his old man Darth Vader.
-Cops-- -Wait. Darth Vader's Luke Skywalker's dad?
Yeah.
It's a bit of a spoiler. But, anyway, listen,
the point is you should've waited till we got the virus sorted.
This is a war.
And you're the best weapon we got.
But you ain't no use to anyone
if you go put yourself into a body bag fore we put Homelander in one.
At least I was brave enough to try.
Well, there's a fine line between bravery and stupidity, son.
You don't give a shit about me.
Maybe you never did.
Here. I'll fetch you some more water.
[somber music playing]
-[faucet squeaks] -[water running]
Fucking teenagers.
[whines]
-[♪ Method Man and Redman sing "Da Rockwilder"] -♪ I was gone, too ♪
♪ but we roam, cellular phones ♪
♪ Doc, Meth back in the flesh, blood and bones ♪
♪ Don't condone, spend bank loans on homegrown ♪
♪ Suckers break like Turbo...
Welcome back, motherfucker.
[song continues muffled]
[muffled chatter]
[Hughie] Thank you.
-I needed that. -Of course.
-[song stops] -[Hughie sighs]
What was that about?
-[door closes] -Nothing.
[Hughie] Oh.
Check you out.
-Thank you, thank you. -[Butcher] All right.
If you twats are all done with Fashion Week,
let's get to work, yeah?
Frenchie, how long till we got a dose big enough?
No, there was so little virus left.
It needs time to multiply.
You know what they say, huh?
Cook low and slow.
How fucking long?
Weeks, at least.
Okay, then we should go to Fort Harmony now.
That place got shut down 80 years ago.
If there's any V1 left in there, it ain't gonna be easy to find.
[Frenchie] And there is also the small matter
of the likely V'ed-up beast
that spilled those Boy Scouts' innards like a Cadbury à la crème, huh?
Do I need to remind you guys that Homelander has Stan Edgar?
Odds are they're ten steps ahead.
If we get the V1 first, we save Annie, we save Kimiko,
we save you.
If you give a shit.
If Homelander gets it, he's immortal,
virus is useless, and we're fucked sideways.
So, who wants to go to...
Clearfield?
Who's gonna take care of Ryan?
He's gone. He legged it.
Wonder whose fault that is.
Well, I wouldn't be throwing stones if I were you, mate.
Unless you can tell us where Starlight is.
[intriguing music playing]
Right.
Let's get cracking.
[high-pitched whirring]
[whooshing]
[panting]
Annie.
Dad.
Hey, listen, I need to talk to you.
I'm all ears.
Okay, can you please stop doing that?
[whooshing]
[dog barking in distance]
How did you find me?
I've been looking for months.
You are really good at hiding.
It has been 20 years, and that's the first thing that you have to say to me?
What should I say?
Dad?
[somber music playing]
Annie, this is your brother... Mason.
[trembling breaths]
It's simple, Mr. President.
You defund the public schools
and give vouchers for the Homelander Freedom Academies.
You don't want kids reading about gay penguins
and becoming woke jihadis, do you?
Thank you, sir.
Let me be clear.
Nobody summons me.
The last time I let a Black woman boss me around,
it was Nell Carter.
With a cock ring and a tub of Crisco.
B.A. flagged a deal point for your movie.
We cannot furnish your trailer with, quote, "a big bowl of cocaine."
-It's in my rider. -From 1984.
I think I can have whatever the fuck I want.
You're welcome to take it up with Homelander.
When he gets back from Fort Harmony.
Fort Harmony?
Homelander and Stan Edgar had a good heart-to-heart,
and we think there's a strong chance of finding V1 at Fort Harmony.
Isn't that where Dr. Vought first injected you?
It's great news.
If he finds it, Homelander will be immune to the virus and immortal, like you.
You'll get to spend eternity together.
Father and son.
Forever.
Mm.
-When did he leave? -Hasn't left yet.
Maybe you could go with him, show him where to look.
After all, who knows that place better than you?
[tense music playing]
[door opens and closes]
It's weird.
-No birds or animals. It's like-- -[Butcher] Fucking hell.
Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't you?
Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, motherfucker.
[grunts]
[coughing]
[tense music playing]
Oh, fuck that.
[Butcher] Eh.
-Not really my type, son. -Hey, how about showing a little respect?
[Mother's Milk] You know, Hughie's right, Butcher.
You should take her out to dinner first.
[chuckling]
Ah, let's see here.
Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here a while.
[Frenchie] Something ripped them apart.
Whatever killed those Boy Scouts might still stalk these woods.
Let's get a move on, then.
Didn't come out here to get bummed by Bigfoot.
[tense music playing]
Mmm.
Goddamn. This is delicious.
[chuckles]
Why'd I wait so long to try this?
What was I worried about?
Probably the highest honor a fish can have, giving their lives to me.
I bet they go to little fish heaven, with 47 virgin tuna.
Yo. What the fuck, bro?
I trusted you.
Oh, so now you can talk, huh?
You think going full method is easy?
Do you know how hard it's been to not talk?
My most powerful instrument, and I can't even use it.
But I fucking committed.
I have given everything to this role, and you straight up fucked me over.
Wait, are you still butthurt about me bringing in Stan Edgar?
I thought we were friends.
I had your back every time people laughed at how stupid you are,
how your powers are a joke, how you're so dumb you need a court-appointed guardian.
Nobody says that.
Yes, they do.
All the time.
Well, let's not make a federal case out of this, Bro V. Wade.
I needed a win from Homelander. Edgar was it.
It's a doggy dog world.
Is that what you think the phrase is?
Whatever. Just... put your fucking mask back on.
Oh. So that's how it is, huh?
You better watch your fucking back.
Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it?
Homelander's stoked about Edgar.
He loves me right now.
How long is that gonna last?
You really think you're more important to him than his own father?
[scoffs]
[Ashley, muffled] Open your asshole wider.
-[muffled grunting and moaning] -[thudding]
[indistinct, muffled shouting]
-[super scream] -[loud thud]
[Bashley] Oh, man. The view from back here was crazy.
You love it.
-Hon. -[Oh Father] Hmm?
Your super scream. [chuckles]
We really got to get you a stronger ball gag.
The way you punish my sin pit,
ain't no ball gag in the world strong enough.
I got to say, when Sage said I should marry you for the optics,
I hung up on her.
-But I do love busting gushers... -Mm.
...all over your pathetic worm face.
Aw, baby.
[phone chiming]
[chuckles]
Ooh.
Oh, shoot.
I got to run. I forgot I have a-a meeting with the Worship Team.
[Bashley] He's lying. The church is bankrupt.
Wait, what?
-The church is bankrupt? -What?
Who... Did Back Ashley tell you that?
After all that hot eye contact I was giving her?
-That two-faced bitch. -How do you lose money on a megachurch?
You bring in hundreds of millions and don't pay taxes.
Attendance is down. Donations are drying up.
And I'm sure the two Gulfstreams don't help.
How deep in the hole are you?
Just, uh... 150 million.
Jesus Christ. Are you kidding me?
You were supposed to get me a 12-point bump with evangelicals,
-not hauled before Congress. -Hey.
What happened to how much you love busting gushers on my face?
That was before you turned me into Tammy fucking Faye.
This is ethics committees, subpoenas.
Chris Hayes is gonna have a field day.
Well, what are we gonna do?
We? You tell me.
You're the fucking emissary of God.
Ma'am, you have a visitor.
I need y'all's help with something.
-[door closes] -Dang.
Smells like a wet shit in a Waffle House in here.
[atmospheric music playing]
[Butcher] Any sign of super cunt?
Could already be inside.
Well, let's find out.
[Kimiko] What's wrong?
Annie.
She'll come back.
No. I almost died.
But she made it all about her and she took off.
I mean, last year, I got bad-touched by a shape-shifter,
and she still found a way to make it about her.
She can be such a fucking bitch.
[exhales sharply] Uh... Jesus, sorry, I-I didn't mean
for that to come out so harsh.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Butcher] Fucking hell.
Fuck happened here?
[Frenchie] Our V'd-up beast enjoyed
an amuse-bouche, perhaps?
Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
I said that ten minutes ago.
Hi. Kathy.
I have always wanted...
It's nice to finally meet you.
So, you knew about this?
[Annie] You know what's funny?
I must have asked you, like, a hundred times to go to Voughtland,
but you always said the roller coasters would make you nauseous.
[Kathy] He said that?
Couldn't get him off that thing.
How's your mom?
She's okay. She's in hiding, but she's okay.
You're a cop?
Deputy.
Deputy. Thought you were working for, um, the telephone company.
When's the last time you saw a pay phone?
So, does that mean you're rounding up Starlighters?
You mean terrorists?
-Mason. -[Mason] Sorry, am I being rude?
We're all good with serving tea to the Supe serial killer
-in our living room? -That's enough.
You know what?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I've put you guys in danger just by being here.
You were right keeping me a secret.
I'll just go.
Annie, wait.
I'm making a stroganoff.
Well, it's Hamburger Helper, but... [laughs softly]
Have dinner with us?
Wash your clothes, take a shower.
No offense, but you could use one.
This is insane.
Really? We're getting fucking Mendo for lunch again?
Baja Green Goddess with Impossible Chorizo.
[Worm] Yeah, can someone make a run to Home Depot
and get me some organic peat moss soil?
-Three pounds? Thank you. -[Firecracker] All right, y'all.
Let's keep it going.
Blue sky day. No bad ideas.
Just got to sell Homelander as our Lord and savior is all.
All right, I first thought theater, but what if he performed a miracle on live TV?
He could part the Red Sea and send some refugees back where they came from.
[Courtenay] Oh, you couldn't do it live, though.
We'd have to VFX the entire thing.
Right, this is a "yes and" room.
Oh, yes, and you're an idiot.
Okay. Uh, the bad version is he turns water into wine.
[Courtenay] Playing a quick game of opposites here, what if...
it was something not fucking terrible?
Like, what if Homelander
flew into all the major holy sites in the world?
Let the people meet their new god
-in person, huh? -[Firecracker] Mm.
Selfies with God.
Pitching off of that, we could put him on a throne on the Temple Mount.
That is your poster right there. Amen.
-[Courtenay] Mm-hmm. -This is amazing.
And for the record, Homelander is 100% God,
-um, but won't some people say he's not? -[Oh Father clears throat]
Uh, a Homelander church would bring in Homelander box office.
We prayed to God for help. He's answering.
Looks like Firecrotch has a point.
-Excuse me? -The other Firecrotch.
-Madam Vice President. -Because according to the snap poll here,
only 22% of Americans
would even accept Homelander as their one true God,
making a real uphill battle to get him
into the 70s, which is where he'd need to be.
[Worm] You know, I'd say it's all about numbers with you suits,
but Vought Plus never releases any.
Look, what we need to do is tell a story.
Who here has read Joseph Campbell?
-[Courtenay] Jesus Christ. -What?
No wonder the Lamplighter: Light of Justice finale
got a D-minus on A.V. Club.
Okay, I had to service 14 main characters and cross over a bunch of assholes
from the Avenging Squad prequel.
You try and make a good finale out of that.
[Courtenay] The problem is, we are trying to sell
a product that no one is asking for.
Like New Coke. Right? Everybody already loves Jesus.
They want to eat right out of his asshole.
[intriguing music playing]
Figuratively speaking, of course.
Jesus was a great man.
-Yeah. -[Firecracker] The things he preached,
turning the other cheek and...
taking in foreigners...
...caring for the poor...
...that shit don't sell no more.
No, what we need is a church that preaches American.
America is God's government, and we are his chosen people.
Manifest Destiny, from sea to shining sea and shit.
[ominous music playing]
With a real American hero as our savior.
The Democratic Church...
...of America.
[music distorts, slows to a stop]
You heard the numbers.
The public won't accept it if we come out and call Homelander "God."
I know what to call him.
Orson Welles wore a cape to cover his fat ass.
Well, we could still fly the rest of the way.
I told you, you're not fucking carrying me.
All right.
Oh, my God.
What a couple of uggos.
What changed your mind?
Yesterday, you told me you wouldn't help me.
Firecracker said you looked up to me.
Guess you're not a complete idiot.
I never said that.
You want my help or not?
The other day, when Clara Vought's name came up,
I got the impression you knew her.
I fucked her once or twice. That's all.
-What? -You did?
Uh...
Then, uh, I guess we're related in more ways than one.
Where is she?
Dead. Suicide.
Horseshit.
She'd never off herself.
Yeah, well, she did.
Did you see a body?
[opening and closing drawers]
Hey.
I found something.
Blueprints.
Yeah, there's a labyrinth of hallways and rooms underground.
[Kimiko] There's the lab.
If the V1 is here, that's where it should be.
Blueprints? Oh, fucking magic.
If the V1's here, it ought to be in the lab.
I just said that. Are you ever gonna fucking listen to me?
Yeah, as soon as you say something worth listening to, luv.
Why do you have to be such an asshole?
Oh, finally twigged now, have you?
No, you remind me every day. Oh, real Father of the Year,
getting Ryan to fight your battles for you.
Says the twat who turned his dad into a fucking zombie and then killed him.
Okay, you know what? It's not just Ryan.
-Look what you did to M.M. -The fuck did he do to me?
He dragged you down in the shit with him, and the worst part,
you let him do it, you fucking pussy.
Everyone, s'il vous plaît.
-[Butcher] "Pussy"? -Something is wrong here.
This fucking nonce just called you a pussy.
You gonna let him get away with that?
[Mother's Milk] Want me to put you in the fucking dirt?
Yeah, fucking do it, M. Do it. Fucking do it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
-Hey. That's enough. -None of you ever listen to me.
I listen to you.
You get jealous whenever I talk to anyone else.
I don't need you to translate for me anymore.
I'm not your fucking pet.
Nah, but he liked you better when you were a dumb animal.
Hey, stop!
Can you not see there is something strange about this place?
We need to focus.
V1. Huh?
[ominous music playing]
Allons-y.
[hip-hop music playing loudly in distance]
[water shuts off]
Mason!
[Rick taking deep breaths]
Sorry about him. He's... [sighs]
[Annie] It's okay. I used to be his age.
I saw the sign out front.
"In this house, we believe in Homelander"?
New boss at the department made everybody put 'em up.
We answer to a Supe named Livewire now.
I don't round up Starlighters, by the way.
When that order comes in, I catch the flu.
And the other deputies?
They think that Starlighters are coming for their kids.
But that's a lie that Vought sells.
-I know that. -Then why don't you say anything?
The last guy that spoke up disappeared,
middle of the night, with his wife and kids.
I'm not proud of it, Annie, but I have a family to protect.
I came here to get, you know, some answers
and some closure before time runs out, but...
Not what you expected?
You could say that.
After you left, I told myself that,
you know, you just... you didn't want kids,
but maybe you just didn't want me.
[sighs]
Have a seat.
This movie was shit.
I did consider asking you for my money back.
I didn't always approve of the choices you made,
but I was always proud of you.
Maybe even more proud when you quit.
Why did you leave?
[sighs]
The first time I saw your mother was on a church mission.
El Salvador.
We were young. [chuckles]
Wanted to save the world.
We were so happy when you came along.
And your mom was dead certain that giving you V was...
gonna give you a better life.
Better than a pay phone repairman could give you.
She asked me, "Do you know how we can really change the world?
Raise a superhero."
So, you-you got on board?
Until she started telling you you were chosen by God.
And th-the thing is, you believed it.
And then she believed it, and I just...
[sighs] I couldn't keep lying to you, so I left.
-You never even reached out. -To do what?
Shatter your dreams? Keep lying to you?
I'd have taken either.
I needed you.
If I could go back and change things, I would.
I should have been there for you.
Should have stood up for you.
I'm sorry I left, Annie.
It runs in the family, I guess.
-What do you mean? -I flipped out the other day,
and I ditched someone I really love.
It's like he's, um... it's like he's my heart
walking on the outside, and if they got to him,
-I couldn't-- -Annie.
The people we love aren't a weakness.
They're the reason that we fight.
[hip-hop music playing loudly in distance]
[sighs]
Hey, is it all right if I talk to him?
Of course. Uh, j-just...
knock first.
I learned that lesson the hard way.
[tense, atmospheric music playing]
Yeah. The lab is this way.
Whoa.
[Butcher] Fucking hell.
They've been here a minute, haven't they?
Decades.
Hunters.
Look at their knives.
These men, they killed each other.
What if there is a monster here but it's us?
What the fuck are you on about, Frenchie?
Toxoplasmosis.
It's a parasite in cat shit. It can infect humans.
Makes them react with explosive anger.
You think we ate cat shit?
Ate? No. [stammers]
If the V1 spilled into the groundwater, it could mutate th-the plants.
Their spores fills us with rage,
we murder each other, and voilà...
...we're plant food for these vines.
Okay, so like The Last of Us?
No, that is just The Walking Dead with mushrooms.
The dead campers, the animals, these hunters.
Surely, you all see how strangely you've been acting.
Us? I've seen you blow cocaine up your dick hole.
[Frenchie] Wait. You have a point.
The copious amount of drugs I've taken for decades
has surely altered my brain chemistry.
That's why I'm not affected.
Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
[Mother's Milk laughs]
Romeo and fucking Juliet.
You two survive this war, I give you six months, tops.
[Butcher] Well fucking well.
[sighs]
Let's fucking go.
[Frenchie] Wh-Wh... Wh-Where are you going?
To top those cunts.
You'll get us killed, you fucking idiots.
Neither of you are thinking straight.
Get that fucking gun out of my face, Frenchie.
That ain't gonna do shit to me, sonny.
No, but I will.
Homelander and Soldier Boy kill you, then kill us.
Then, if there's any V1 here, it's Homelander's.
Does that make your family safe?
Is that the revenge you seek?
Does that make things right for Becca?
[sniffles]
Fine.
[sighs]
We must hurry before we tear each other apart.
Or the Supes do.
So, what's the plan? God!
-Ugh! -The fuck, Frenchie?
It's deer urine. Hunters use it to attract prey,
but we will use it to hide our scent from Homelander.
You spray that shit on me, and I'll rip your fucking head off.
I ain't counting on no goddamn deer piss to save our asses.
It's just science, bro.
When you jizz, masculine vitality leaves your body.
Got to hold that shit in, right, Noir?
Right, Noir?
[soundboard] Fu-fu-fu-fuck you.
Looks like you hit the wrong button there, broseph.
[soundboard] B-B-Bitch says what?
-What? -[knocking on door]
[Mason] What?
[hip-hop music playing quietly]
I just want to talk.
-Wow. -[Mason] Your picture was never up there.
Yeah, good.
Good. I mean, uh, yeah, no, that's good.
I don't put traitors on my wall.
Okay, you know...
what they say about me, none of it's true.
Do you mean the part that you blew your way into The Seven
or that you're a terrorist who traffics children?
So that's, like, a hard no on getting into the back of my van?
Hey, look, Mason,
you go to school at Homelander Academy
and you come home and you watch thousands of TikToks every day.
How is the truth supposed to compete with that?
Whatever.
You're, like, the FBI's Most Wanted.
Oh, okay. Well, like it or not, the FBI's Most Wanted is your sister,
so you can keep being an asshole about it or, you know, we can also talk about it.
Is there a third option?
[Annie] Let me guess.
Chocolate cream-filled every Thursday morning, right?
Dad used to take me before school.
[sighs] It's one of the things I miss the most, actually.
I think he was just taking me as his beard.
Yeah, I feel like he's giving me diabetes.
[laughs softly]
[tense, atmospheric music playing]
[wind howling]
[Frenchie] Okay, it's not here.
Fuck this and fuck you and fuck me.
This is a goddam waste of time.
[Mother's Milk] Butcher.
Take a look.
Maybe some motherfucker beat us to it.
Not too long ago, neither.
They punched 80 years of rust right off the safe.
Now, how many Supes do we know that can punch this hard?
A dozen. Maybe more.
[Kimiko] What is it?
-Heroin. -[Kimiko] Heroin.
-Of course you would fucking know that. -[Hughie laughs]
Huh. So...
a punch like a bleeding sledgehammer
and a taste for fucking smack.
Bombsight.
[Frenchie] No one has seen Bombsight for decades.
He's likely dead.
What if he's not, asshole?
He'd be about the only other cunt that would know this shit was here.
[Hughie] You mean Bombsight from Soldier Boy's first team?
Wouldn't he have already been shot up with V1? What's he need more for?
[Rick] Hey, Ed.
-Everything all right? -[Ed] Yeah,
I'm sorry to bother you on your day off.
This is gonna sound crazy. Is Starlight in there?
I'm s... I'm sorry, what?
I got a call from Mason.
But it's a joke, right?
Tell me it's a joke.
[quiet, tense music playing]
She's my daughter.
Your daughter?
[whispers] Jesus Christ. Can't he ever fucking lie?
I've known you 20 years, and y-you never--
-I should have told you. -She's a serial killer.
She's not. I promise you.
I'm begging you, get back in your cruiser and let this go.
Are you crazy? I am not dying in a prison camp over this.
I got to take her in.
You need to step aside right now.
Please, Ed, just take a breath.
[trembling breaths]
-Hands up right now. -[Annie] I don't think so.
Walk away.
-[whirring] -[electrical buzzing]
-Ed, put it down. -I said now.
-Walk away. -[Ed] No.
-You're under arrest. -[Rick] Ed, relax.
-Everybody, please, just-- -[Ed] I'm warning you.
I said walk away.
Would the both of you fucking stop!
[whirring and electrical buzzing fade]
I-I'm sorry, I just...
Ed, we sit next to each other in church every Sunday.
After Pam died, you ate dinner here for how many months?
Yeah, and you lied to my face the whole time.
[Rick] I know you're scared. I'm scared, too.
But what Vought's been making us do,
pulling people out of their homes, our neighbors,
and sending them to...
God knows where.
You know it's wrong.
Annie's my daughter, and I love her.
I should've stood up for her a long time ago.
She's not what they say she is.
She's a good person, Ed.
And if good people stop trying to do the right thing,
then what the hell chance do we have?
She better be gone in an hour,
or I swear to God, I'm coming back with Livewire,
I'm hauling you both in.
Thanks. Thank you.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[tense, atmospheric music playing]
[sniffing]
Smells like deer piss.
[Soldier Boy] The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines,
still picking Nazi brains out of my hair.
And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
-Mm-hmm. -Not soft little hog chompers.
Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck.
I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape.
What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dick wet?
Oh, oh, my dick was sopping wet
when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin.
Ooh, look. More uggos.
Friends of yours?
-[device beeps] -[Mother's Milk] Oh, shit.
They're right above us.
We best get the fuck out of here.
-Come on. -Hey. Hey. What about the V1?
If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
What are you talking about?
Who's "us"?
[ominous music playing]
[Butcher] What?
You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do you?
[Hughie] We need it to save Annie and Kimiko.
You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?
Shh. Homelander will hear us.
And you, you've just been going along with it again.
We can't take the risk, Hughie.
And if she has to be collateral damage so that
Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice.
Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you.
[Butcher] Well, at least he knows
when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fucking told.
-[Frenchie] Shh! -Excuse me?
No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
Want to know a little secret, Butcher?
I cheered when I found out that you were dying,
'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
You know, I used to say to these guys,
"Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out."
I was wrong. If there was anything human in there, it's dead.
Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
Well, maybe I like it better that way.
That parasite's not just in you. It is you.
You're the cancer.
Lower your voices.
[Hughie] You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse.
And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
And what you gonna do about it?
-I'll fucking kill you. -No, stop!
[Hughie choking]
-[Frenchie] Kimiko! -[grunting]
Please.
Calm down.
I told you I'm not your pet.
I'm done following your commands.
Kimiko.
Hey.
Come on, M.M. I mean, if Butcher will let you.
[grunting]
[exciting music playing]
Everybody, please stop!
Oi! Where do you think you're going?
Mon coeur. Hey.
Don't.
[Homelander chuckling softly]
Tough guy, my ass.
-What? -You, your whole bit.
This whole "guts and glory" thing.
What a fucking joke.
I read your classified file.
Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at Anzio,
and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials.
Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory,
making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
You don't know shit about me.
Really?
I know that when they tried to inject you with the V,
you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table.
And you pissed yourself,
crying for your mommy
like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are.
They gave you the world, and you, you deserve nothing.
[sighs] Oh, Christ.
What's this shithole now?
What are you doing?
[deep metallic creaking]
Oh, well done.
I'll be out of here in 30 seconds.
Maybe. Maybe not.
It's enriched uranium.
They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb.
Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes,
but for you, it's a stomach flu.
Good luck, though,
getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
-[grunts] -[whooshing]
Where are you going?
I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
-Why? -You don't get it, do you?
How much I can't fucking stand you.
[dramatic music playing]
[panting]
[suspenseful music playing]
[grunts]
Mon Dieu.
[singsongy] Hughie.
Come on, son.
Come and have a go.
[distant retching]
[coughing]
[breathing gruffly]
[whooshing]
[groans]
[laughs]
[sighs]
[laughing]
Oh, if only the world could see you now.
Not so fucking super, are you?
You, uh... you got a bit of...
[coughs]
Did your dad put you in time-out?
Ooh. That's got to sting,
knowing he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you.
What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue?
Will wonders ever cease?
-[lighter clicks open] -[Butcher chuckles]
Tell me something.
[lighter clicks shut]
If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't you?
Seems like I know you pretty well after all.
Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats
gargling your bollocks and singing hosanna,
you still wouldn't be happy.
'Cause deep down, you're just a weak,
thin-skinned, needy little boy.
You beat the shit out of your own son.
Don't get weaker than that.
[laughs softly]
[groans]
Ryan is alive.
Because he's strong.
'Cause he's my son.
The son of God.
You ain't no god.
How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you
shit your fucking spine out?
You don't have it, do you?
The virus.
Don't I?
No, you don't.
You would have used it by now.
[coughing]
[Homelander laughing]
You have no way to stop me, do you?
Oh, William.
You have no idea what you're up against.
You can't intervene.
I will get the V1,
and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive.
You, Starlight, all the nonbelievers.
You're all gonna fucking drown in your own blood.
I promise you, before I die...
...I'll fucking have you.
You're all fucking paste!
I can take what's mine,
and that makes this whole fucking shit ball
my birthright!
My destiny!
[panting]
[metal creaking]
[tense music playing]
Fucker!
Shit.
[grunting and groaning]
[gun clicks]
-[Kimiko shouts] -[Hughie screams, whimpers]
[Hughie grunts]
[grunts]
Damn. Shit.
-[ominous music playing] -[door opens]
[Soldier Boy] Shit.
Fuck.
[gun clicking]
[gasps]
[blows raspberry]
The fu...
[exciting music playing]
Hey!
My God.
[slow, wheezing breaths]
[quiet, tense music playing]
Quinn.
You knew this man?
You were in Dr. Vought's trials together.
Figures this would be you.
You ugly piece of shit.
Oh, you hated me.
Yeah, I was just a rich, entitled asshole.
Never seen a lick of real combat, huh?
[Soldier Boy chuckles]
You still fucking hate me, don't you?
This creature is nothing but hate.
He makes us hate.
He's the cause of all of this.
Listen to me.
You are the only one who can end it. Put a stop to his misery.
Put him out of his misery? No, no. God, no.
No, I like him like this.
Oh, fuck you, bitch!
Oh, I didn't deserve what I got, huh?
Fuck you. Fuck you!
'Cause I still got it.
I got all of it. I fucking won!
[screaming]
If you won't kill him, all of us will die.
I know why Quinn hates you.
Oh, is that right?
Because he sees you for what you really are.
He was a real soldier.
You were just a boy playing dress-up.
But you got to be the hero while he got to be this.
Now, where's the justice in that?
-It should be you up there. -Shut up.
It should be your pain.
-[grunts, strains] -[metal creaking]
You are nothing but a coward.
I said shut your fucking mouth!
[straining]
[shouting]
[whooshing]
[rumbling]
[panting]
Hughie?
I'm-I'm sorry.
[blade clangs on floor]
Yeah.
Me, too.
[somber music playing]
[sighs]
[grunts]
[groaning]
[Soldier Boy] Fuck. I'm sorry.
I'm so fucking sorry.
-[♪ Lou Bega sings "Mambo No. 5"] -♪ Trumpet, a little bit of Monica ♪
♪ in my life ♪
♪ A little bit of Erica by my side ♪
♪ A little bit of Rita's all I need ♪
♪ A little bit of Tina's what I see ♪
♪ A little bit of Sandra in the sun ♪
♪ A little bit of Mary all night long ♪♪
[Annie] Well...
That was the best stroganoff I have ever had.
[Kathy] It definitely wasn't,
-but that's kind of you. -[chuckles]
You have something you want to say?
Sorry.
You want to try that again?
[sighs] I'm sorry.
[Rick] Good. But you're grounded till you're 20.
Mm, more like 30.
I hope we see each other again.
Me, too.
[Rick] Annie?
Don't make the same mistake I did.
Don't give up on the people you love, all right?
[wistful music playing]
[chuckles softly]
[clears throat]
[sighs]
[gasping breaths]
[heavy thudding]
[tense, atmospheric music playing]
[groaning]
[breathing heavily]
[shouts]
[whirring]
The V1 wasn't here.
Were you...
Were you crying?
Just fucking do it already.
[somber music playing]
[gasps softly]
[door closes]
Thank you.
We wouldn't have made it out if you hadn't stepped up.
Oh. Yeah, well, taking charge...
...was the most horrible thing I've ever done.
Never let me do it again. Never.
I'm sorry I called you a feckless junkie man-whore.
I don't remember you calling me that.
I didn't? I thought I did.
You're not wrong.
I was, once.
But I am clean now.
And I can be whatever you need.
[soft, atmospheric music playing]
I don't want to change you.
It's that...
...I'm trying to change myself.
The reason I can speak now, it's...
it's because I did so much work to let go of my...
chaos.
The thing is...
...you love chaos.
You thrive in it.
Which is fine, but...
...I can't go back to that.
So, where does that leave us?
[groans]
-[whirring] -[electrical buzzing]
[loud thud]
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have left you. I should've been here.
Actually, I'm so, so glad you weren't.
Super good day to miss.
-[speaks Russian over video] -[device clicking over video]
[clears throat over video]
[Russian chatter continues over video]
[Butcher] Listen, mate.
-That shite I said... -Hey.
Don't tell me you didn't mean it, a'ight?
'Cause I sure as hell meant every fucking word I said.
So, we got a problem?
[chuckles]
We cool, man.
We cool.
What are you doing?
Just thinking.
Well, the shit show is on.
[button clicks]
[singer over video] ♪ From sea ♪
♪ to shining ♪
[full choir] ♪ sea ♪
♪ America ♪♪
-[cheering and applause] -Yes! Yes!
Brothers and sisters.
[cheering]
Brothers and sisters, we are truly, truly fortunate
to bear witness on this day.
-[congregation murmuring] -Because today...
is the greatest day in the history of Samaritan's Embrace.
-Can I get an amen? -[congregation] Amen!
I mean, I love all this, love,
but don't you believe in Jesus or whatever?
I did.
Now I believe in Homelander.
-[Bashley] She's lying. -No shit.
-Excuse me? -[laughs softly]
[congregation murmuring]
But today, brothers and sisters, today,
we set America back on its true course.
[cheering and applause]
Starting today, brothers and sisters,
we commit ourselves to a divine rebranding.
We will be patriots of faith.
We will fulfill our Founding Fathers' dream.
Today, starting today, Samaritan's Embrace becomes
the Democratic Church of America.
[cheering and applause]
And here, to share his holy plan for our new church,
he is not just a man...
[congregation murmuring]
...he's not just a super man...
...he is the Prophet of the Lord!
[applause]
He is the Prophet of America!
He is the Prophet Homelander!
[cheering]
[congregation chanting] Homelander! Homelander! Homelander!
Homelander! Home--
[gasps]
[church organ playing "America the Beautiful"]
♪ ♪