- Candy? - Yeah?
I'm due back at work soon.
Sure. Come on in.
Well, I think under the circumstances,
God won't bat an eye at us showering together.
Probably not.
- Is there enough room? - Oh yeah, plenty.
Are you sure? 'Cause I...
No, we're fine. See? It's not the best water pressure, but...
Allan.
Thank you.
For what?
Just thank you.
Oh, my dear heaven.
The idea that this may be the last day I listen to that choir.
Well.
It's not gonna be the last time. Simple as that.
I may not be your minister going forward,
but I want you all to know that you are in good hands.
My replacement, Pastor Ron Adams.
Stand up, Ron.
You will be lucky to have him and his wife, Mary.
Please stand, Mary.
And, my God,
they will be so lucky to have all of you.
He's gonna be a disaster.
- Now, we have to give him a chance, Betty. - Look at him.
Look at him.
Who wears an orange coat to church?
- Or to anywhere? - Honey, hey.
We're to take spiritual guidance from him?
Plus, where's our loyalty to Jackie?
Betty. She wasn't fired.
Yes, you keep saying that, Don.
Well, why would she have been fired?
Because she got a divorce, and it isn't acceptable
for a minister to do that.
He looks so stiff and rigid.
He looks like a child.
Always makes me nervous when the choir clusters.
Betty thinks you're being forced out on account of your divorce.
Well, it's all been so rush-rush. And we end up with him?
- He's a child. In an orange coat. - Betty.
You need to listen to me. All of you.
You need to make this church work.
I want you to get along with this man.
Everybody here takes their cue from the choir.
I saw that. What was that?
Excuse me?
You two just looked at each other like you got a
big secret.
You're both on the council.
You would both know church business. Was she fired?
- Were you? - Betty.
God wouldn't just call you away from us.
But a bishop would.
Feels a little sleazy.
Well, I think that's what I like about it.
It's six and a half dollars cheaper.
I kind of like being cheap, too. It's sexy.
My goodness. This looks delicious.
And so do you.
I'm finger-lickin' good, I am.
I found a few cookies on my windshield at work.
That wouldn't be your doing, would it?
Well, gee, I don't know. Were they snowmen? Little angels?
There's all kinds of Christmas cookies, you know.
I would need more detail before I could answer for sure.
Can I ask you a question?
Is Betty okay? 'Cause she got really riled up with that whole minister thing.
Betty doesn't love change.
She doesn't even like contingencies.
I think if she had it her way,
everything would be exactly how it is today,
tomorrow, and the next day.
Well, she got a little scary.
You didn't even see the worst of it.
You know the little angels that people made
- out of pipe cleaner and so forth? - What about 'em?
- This kind of stuff has got to go. - Why?
One of our goals will be to spruce up our outward-facing appearance.
Homemade decorations tend to convey
"parochial," which is not best for attracting new parishioners.
Maybe it's you who should go.
She said that?
She got terrible postpartum after Alisa was born,
which had started during the pregnancy.
But I think it's flaring up again.
I should take her out to lunch or coffee or something
'cause I've been neglecting her all this time
while I've been not neglecting her husband.
That was a joke, Allan. I'm sorry. It wasn't an especially good one.
I just feel like an awful person.
Betty's the most
wonderful wife.
She's pregnant with my child and
here I am, in a sleazy motel room
with a red velvet bedspread.
You know, we're not bad people. We just have to stay vigilant.
We stick to our plan, and we can never, ever allow
Betty or Pat to get hurt.
Never, ever.
Ever.
He has the most perfectly shaped penis I have ever seen.
Candace Lynn Montgomery.
I'm not saying he puts it to the best possible use.
I still don't get it.
I'm not sure I do either 'cause, you know, like you said,
he's a little paunchy, but...
God, I don't know. Maybe it's a
pheromone sort of thing?
I don't know. It's nice to be
noticed. You know, just to be adored a little.
Pat doesn't adore you?
No, he does.
- Just in his own way. - Well, I have to say,
part of me is a little bit jealous.
I've got the imagination for adultery, just not the guts.
You know, I'm not sure it takes guts so much.
It's more like fear.
You need to be careful.
Everything looks normal. Fine.
I'd even say perfect, with the baby.
What's that supposed to mean?
Well, we need to pay attention to your hypertension and stress.
That can affect the fetus.
You can sit up now.
So, how's everything at home? Everything okay? Things good?
Everything's like home at home.
Raising one child, getting ready to have another.
Betty, he's just looking after us.
Sometimes, it feels like I'm not doing right.
Not being right.
This may be the best cookie I've ever eaten.
- It's so moist. - The trick is to take 'em out early.
I got the idea to just cook 'em for only half
what the recipe calls for, and voilà.
That's French for "perfect."
- So, half-baked? - The cookie is, not my idea.
Tell me something about you that nobody else knows.
I'm not sure there is anything.
Oh, come on.
Something that you wouldn't want other people to know,
but you would like me to know.
I don't think there is anything.
There must be something about maybe something that
you're especially proud of or ashamed.
Okay. This is something I am proud of but
- ashamed to admit I'm proud of. - I love that already.
In high school,
I was the Kansas State Grand Champion in the wheat competition.
- The wheat competition. Yeah. - The wheat competition?
You sort through all the stalks with tweezers.
You pick out the best stuff.
I can tell you're trying not to giggle.
I'm not.
Bob Dole
presented me with the silver tray, which is the highest award.
You can laugh.
So sorry!
I've been thinking about
something a lot, and I'm trying to wrap my head around it.
What?
Betty having an affair. It just seems so unlike her.
I know.
I was getting ready to leave on a six-week business trip.
She kind of went to pieces.
We were living near the state college, and, one night,
she went home with one of the students.
How'd you find out?
She confessed.
Almost right away. I didn't even suspect anything.
She just broke down in tears and,
blurted it out.
Part of me thinks
she came clean out of guilt.
- Another part. - Another part what?
I think maybe she meant to punish me
for traveling.
And the reason she told me.
It was calculated to control
my behavior.
That must've hurt you a lot.
It did.
I have another question for you, and it's kind of important.
Okay.
Do you like roller coasters?
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
It's so cute. Will you look at that?
That is so darling!
Thank you so much, Candy. It's precious.
You can always exchange if you don't like the color.
What? No. I love it. I love it.
- My heart. - It looks so cute.
I cannot wait to meet her.
- Okay. Alright. - Okay. Next one's from Sherry.
Here we go, thank you.
Oh God! Oh God!
"Oh, God.
"Our help in ages past.
Our hope for years to come."
The choir sings those words.
All of you,
sing those words.
But, what do they mean? Let us think about that.
Well, God has helped us...
- From Pat. - ...and those before us,
for ages past.
And He is our hope, is He not?
God, He's our...
our hope.
Our wonderful and eternal...
Anyway, it continues.
Our shelter from the stormy blast.
I didn't expect him to be good, just not that terrible.
Betty wants to leave the church.
- What? - She's that put off.
What, and do what? Just go back to Wylie?
I don't know. It's like she's channeling
everything wrong with the world and just making him to blame.
Listen, as we get closer to the day, I'll have to stay close to home more.
The last thing I want is to be here when she goes into labor.
So just for the next few weeks.
Of course.
You know, if she did go into labor, and she couldn't get ahold of me,
she'd call you.
Well, and I would be there in a flash.
I know you would. She knows it.
'Cause you're a good friend.
You okay?
I'm gettin' in too deep.
What do you mean?
I don't want to fall in love with you.
I don't
wanna have to deal with myself if we go too far.
I think about you too much.
You don't find yourself thinking
too much about me?
Well, I think about you all the time.
It's gettin' too serious.
Well...
we just won't let it. Okay?
Kids! Dinner!
Mamma mia! That's a spicy meatball-a!
Sweetie, can you please go find your sister
and tell her we're about to eat?
Mamma mia!
That boy watches too much television.
Hey, Pat! What did we say about spit valves at the dinner table?
Hey, Jenny! Ian! Come on, let's go!
Hey, did I tell you
that the Gores were thinking about leaving the church?
What? Why?
Betty cannot stand the new minister.
And, honestly, I don't think she's being very fair.
Not everyone can be as earthy and warm as Jackie.
Well, he did tell me no more puppets.
Excuse me?
Put the kibosh on it.
He said no more puppets during children's sermons.
I know.
I've been telling you from the start, the man is cold and unfeeling.
And he treats his wife like property.
- Have y'all noticed that? - Alright, alright.
Why do you keep defending him, Candy?
Because I promised Jackie I would, truth be told.
And the way he snorts at us sometimes.
That we can't hold against him. He evidently had sinus cancer as a child.
What?
I just want Jackie back.
We all do, honey. We all do. We all do.
Sorry, I'm a little late. Shall we get started?
- Let's start with the services. - Excuse me?
- They're boring. - Betty.
And cold! And why? Why would you ban Pat's puppets?
I did not ban them.
I just said no more Peter Rabbit as Jesus.
A little spontaneity might be a good thing.
Sometimes, I think you mistake this for a social club.
This is a church, Betty.
Doesn't have to be a dull one.
Betty.
Transitions do call for some patience.
I'm not a patient, Don. Please don't treat me as one.
What is going on with her?
It's the stress from the pregnancy.
Well, she got a little Joan Crawford.
Once she has the baby,
the light will come back on, and she'll be okay.
Allan... No, never mind.
- What? - It's just what I said before.
I don't know if I can handle the way I'm feeling about you.
And I know that we said that...
That falling in love was against the rules,
but that's what's happening. I'm falling in love with you.
And I get scared for me, and I worry about Pat.
I mean, this would be too hard on him.
And...
I don't want to lose our friendship.
I just don't want anybody to get hurt.
I don't want this to get outta hand
any more than you do, Candy. But, honestly.
You and me
it's helped me and Betty somehow.
- How so? - I just feel
better.
I think it's because I have you.
We said that if we started to get too emotionally involved,
that it... it's over.
That was our first rule.
I can see the head.
You have a beautiful girl.
She's 100% perfect.
She is so precious. I just...
- I can't speak. - Thank you.
Princess.
Honey, think we might need to get Princess a new playmate.
- A puppy? - I want a puppy!
Me too!
She is so adorable. Can I hold her?
Of course!
Alright.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Is there anything like a newborn?
I don't think so.
You know, Bethany really is the most beautiful little thing.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, Betty seems good. Bright, even.
Well, she's doing better. She's doing better.
You know, in spurts. She still has her bouts.
But
we're we're headed to Kansas in a few days
to introduce Bethany to the grandparents.
So, you know, next week.
Oh, yeah. Got it. Yeah.
But we return that following Thursday.
So, maybe that Friday.
Friday it is. I'll get a sitter.
- Great. - Okay.
Well.
- Hi! - Hey! You made it!
Hi, baby.
- How you doin', sir? - Good to see you.
I'm so excited to see you, little one.
Hello!
Mr. Mustard had just gone to bed when his doorbell rang.
Hey.
- They are really loud tonight? - Yeah.
Do you ever wonder what they all say to each other?
Lord knows, but they certainly sound chipper.
What?
Nothing.
Why the look?
Just looking at you and
looking and thinking.
About what?
Sometimes, I forget how pretty you are.
Pat.
I'm sorry, honey.
I'm sorry. I'm just...
just really tired tonight.
Don't touch me.
Hey, honey.
You think I don't know.
That you're not attracted to me anymore?
That you don't wanna touch me, don't wanna touch me?
That's not fair.
That's not true.
You wanna have a discussion about fair, Allan?
Why don't you start?
She just kept saying, "You don't love me anymore.
- "You don't love me anymore." - Well, you did reassure her, right?
Yes. But she's convinced that I'm not attracted to her
because she's fat after having a baby.
Are you attracted to her?
Of course.
I was just spent.
My tank was empty because I'd been with you all day.
The thing is, she never initiates.
We haven't had sex since
before Bethany was born, so for her to make a move
and to be rebuffed just...
What are you gonna do?
Candy, I think we should end it.
Us end it?
Us? No! What?
No! No.
- Okay. - No, but now, you're being unfair!
- I'm not... Okay, shh. - It's not... Do not...
No! Hey! Do not shh me!
You cannot just squelch another person and their emotions.
Do not shh me ever.
I'm hurting Betty, Candy.
This affair is affecting my marriage now.
You can't perform with Betty one time
and, suddenly
you wanna end it?
I'm not saying that we should definitely end it.
Then what are you saying?
Just that we should think about it.
I don't wanna hurt her, or Pat.
No. Well, 'cause he's... He's just the best singer in the choir.
We've become too close.
And I'm afraid that I
might not love her anymore.
And I can't let that happen.
We've both been using each other to fill the gaps in our marriages,
and that's not right.
Right?
Let's just slow it down some.
Thank you all for being here today
for the groundbreaking of our wonderful new sanctuary.
Now, it's my honor to cut this ribbon.
- Hello? - Hey.
Hey, stranger.
- How you doin'? - Yeah, I'm good.
I'm good. Yeah. You?
Pretty good.
Except for missing a few of those special lunches.
Yeah. Me, too.
How's Betty?
You know.
Not too good, actually.
After that night when I didn't respond,
she sort of went into a hole and hasn't come out of it.
So, how are you doing?
Okay. Okay.
I'm taking a new job.
ECS Telecommunication.
I thought that you liked working at Rockwell.
Yeah.
It's just if I want to advance at the company,
that would mean more travel, which,
- you know, isn't an option for Betty. - Nope.
Why don't we get lunch and talk face-to-face?
I'm not saying I want us to end, Candy.
I don't. But, I need...
I need for me and Betty to get better.
Stronger.
You said that being with me helped.
Helped me, yes.
But, not me and her. Certainly not her.
Is she feeling any better?
She wants to go to Marriage Encounter now.
Really?
I think it'd do us some good.
The next one is in October.
What?
Marriage Encounter will be the end of us.
Let's just see what happens.
Candy, let's just see what happens.
I really hate to ask you this right now.
But
it takes place over a weekend,
and Betty was wondering, as was I, if you and Pat
could possibly take the kids.
Alisa loves you,
and Betty won't trust anyone else with Bethany.
It would just... It would be.
Sure.
I'd be glad to.
You never mentioned a castle.
I did not know, honey.
I really don't know about this.
Well, let's hope the food's good at least.
Spouses are expected to be at each other's sides
at all times.
I should add at the side of your own spouse.
Sometimes, we get couples from California, so I always make sure.
Televisions are not to be turned on in the rooms.
Not even a little. No phones, no newspapers.
Nothing to get in the way
of couples communicating about their feelings.
I will take the opportunity right now
to propose your first Marriage Encounter question,
which you will each endeavor to answer
in your individual Marriage Encounter notebooks.
You'll find these in your room. The question is as follows.
Why did I come here this weekend, and what do I hope to gain?
It says, in very bold letters,
that once we finish, we're to exchange notebooks with a kiss.
Then read each other's answers and discuss how it makes us feel.
It's killing you, isn't it?
I'm happy for them. I'm glad for Allan.
It's killing you.
Well, it bugs me that he's in some hotel room with her,
gettin' all gooey with her.
You know, I made him a better lover.
He didn't even know how to French kiss. I practically trained him.
And it seems like Bad Mood Betty gets all the benefit
while I'm babysitting her kids.
Really?
You're the one who said he was fall-in-love-proof.
I got an idea. Why don't we go out tonight?
There's a new club just opened up,
and everybody's saying how fun it is.
I have to babysit the kids.
Oh, come on! Pat can watch 'em.
Couple of hours, girls' night out.
It'll be fun.
You know, sometimes the best path to happiness
is just to feign it.
Just to give in to the illusion of it.
Well, I thought that's what I was doing with Allan.
- Didn't even know how to French kiss. - We're goin'.
"It's hard for me to talk about sex, too.
"Sometimes, it's so hard to feel calm and quiet
"as you need to be to enjoy sex.
"I guess the relaxation part is the hardest part for me.
"That's why, in Switzerland,
"a little, or a lot, of wine helped.
It relaxed me so I could really be free to enjoy it all."
"Does this mean I'm not comfortable with sex.
"If I need wine to make love more pleasant?
I don't know."
How does that make you feel?
Well, I feel
more aware with your insecurities.
I'm not sure that awareness is a feeling.
There's no rule about what constitutes a feeling.
Yes, it's in those workbooks that they gave us.
It's not about what you think.
It's about how you emotionally respond.
Being aware of my insecurity over sex is not a feeling.
We're not supposed to judge each other's reactions.
- It says that. - I've said several things
specifically about sex
and you haven't really responded. At all.
And I think I know
why, Allan.
You don't desire me.
- That is not true. - No, you never touch me, and you...
Because you send the message, "Don't touch me."
The core principle
of this Encounter is honesty.
Are you sexually attracted to me, Allan?
I promise you I am.
I am. Hey.
What?
I've been so worried and scared that you don't want me.
That you don't desire me. That maybe you don't even
love me anymore.
Well, that's not true. I do. I love you.
Betty.
I desire you.
We're here because I desire you.
Because I miss you.
I'd like to fornicate.
I'd like to.
Body of Christ, given for you.
I realized that what I was feeling was not, "I don't like you,"
but more like, "I don't feel excited about you
because I'm too used to the way things are."
Body of Christ, given for you.
I want to share a lot more of your feelings,
and I want to be able to share mine with you.
When I think of your being gone more, I remember those times with dread.
Blood of Christ, shed for you.
The aloneness.
Blood of Christ, shed for you.
I never really felt fear for my safety at home alone
but the feeling of being alone
is the worst possible one to have.
It's like you're in a dark tunnel,
and you've got a long ways to go to the light.
The light isn't there till you're home again,
safe and sound.
And sometimes, the times you are gone made the tunnel very long.
In the name of God, I, Allan, take you, Betty, to be my wife.
To have and to hold, from this day forward.
For better or worse, richer or poorer.
To love and to cherish.
To love and cherish.
Until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow.
By the power vested in me by Jesus Christ, our Lord,
it is my sincere pleasure
to re-pronounce you both
as man and wife.
- Hi! - Hey!
Hi!
- Hi. - Hey, sweetie. You have fun?
- Yeah. Yeah. - You did?
- Hey. Great. - How was it?
- Pat, thanks again. - Hey, Allan! Yeah, of course. Any time.
Hey.
There's my little angel!
How'd she do?
She was perfect. Like little angels are.
Hi.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for taking them. I am beyond grateful.
Are you kidding me? I love having them.
Especially since Jenny is sweeter when Alisa comes over.
I missed you, my little girl.
So, how was it?
It was amazing.
- Yeah? - It was really great.
Great.
I was skeptical. I really was.
But, honest to God, it was the best thing.
You and Pat, you should think about it.
- Not that you need it or anything. - All set, honey.
Alright. Here I come.
- Thank you again so much. - Any time.
Any time.
Careful.
- Got it? - Hey.
So, it was good, Betty says.
Better than I could have imagined.
I'm glad to hear it.
- I'll call you. - Yep.
Bye!
Alright. That should do it.
- Thanks again, guys. - Yeah.
- Thank you for... - Bye-bye!
- Bye! - Bye, guys.